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Coming over and speaking, flirting, making playful conversation. If I was interested in her I would definitely get her number or ask her out. But just because some random stranger says hi, that doesn't mean nothing.
This is true. It takes more than a smile and a "hi" to get a guy to ask a woman out. Unless maybe she has a hot bod, or something. Guys do not ask just anyone out. Asking someone out is kind of a big step. The first step is to engage the guy in conversation. Then IF the two hit it off, MAYBE he'll ask her out, depending on the guy and how shy he is or isn't, etc.
They're like this around White women, too. There are a lot of shy and reticent White guys around, a lot more than in other races/cultures, that's my observation. It's a cultural thing. Lots of White women I've talked to have said this, too. You have to kind of help them out by initiating a conversation, but even then, some are strangely unable to follow through (see the thread on: have men lost the art of flirting?). So sometimes you have to take the next step, and introduce yourself and say "nice to meet you", smile, etc. If they still can't "close the deal", well, it depends on whether or not you're comfortable taking the next step, and asking for a number, or asking if he'd like to sit down for coffee/tea (if there's any nearby), or whatever. Some of them really need the woman to make the first move. It's not that they're not interested, as you noticed, it's that they're just to shy or socially awkward, or afraid of rejection.
Very true.
A white guy friend of mine, way before I started online dating and was wondering why I wasn't getting hit on by white guys, told me I needed to flirt with them more. He said, make eye contact, touch your hair, lick your lips etc. I was like "Hail No".
Why are white guys so shy though in real life? At least for the most part? I know it can't be all of them.
When I went online, it changed. I got hit on so much that any doubt I had about my own attractiveness disappeared.
Last edited by Peacelilies; 10-05-2012 at 06:15 PM..
Reason: Clarity
I’m a woman in my mid 30’s and of Asian descent. I’ve always been attracted to White men (including Hispanic) ever since I can remember. I think that I am fairly attractive, at least attractive enough to get the good looking men looking at me. In grade school and high school, the best looking and popular (white) guys always seemed to be attracted to me. (Yes, I have to go back that far because I haven't dated in ages). However, white men rarely ever hit on me. All they ever do is stare from afar and sometimes give me subtle hints that they’re interested. The last time a white guy hit on me was when I was 16 at a fast food restaurant and the guy told me that he and his friend were checking me out, and he later asked for my number. That and in the 3rd grade when a very hansome white boy gave me a Valentine card with the handwritten words, "I Like You" on it. Seriously, those were the only times.
What is it? Is it because I’m Asian and so they don’t feel as comfortable approaching someone of a different race? I don’t think I am that attractive nor ugly to intimidate someone either. For some reason, I’ve experienced more white men being attracted to me than Asian men (if I’m reading them right).
I’m asking this right now because there’s a white man that takes the same city bus as me and I think that he’s attracted to me (and I am to him), but he has not come up to talk to me yet. It’s the same: just stares at me, smiles at me, comes and sits by me when he can , stands at a corner to watch me walk to my car, acts differently around me now, he even grooms himself better now , etc., but that is it. Am I just reading these men wrong or what?? Is staring no longer a sign that someone is attracted to you? All I really want is for this guy to finally just say hi and talk to me. I feel like I am in grade school again.
And no, I will not pursue another man again because the only guy I have ever really pursued shot me down. I thought he really liked me, but that perhaps he was just too shy to approach me, so I approached him. Well either I totally misread him or he played me too well, and I decided to make the first move only to be shot down. I have never done this before. And yes, he was a white guy.
So all my life, I’ve only dated the Asian guys who actually did like me and asked me out, but I’m always sitting at the corner waiting for that handsome white fella who I think likes me too, but not enough to approach me. What gives?
-Move to the West Coast
-Go online
-Look for fans for Anime.
The term "hit on" has to go- makes it sound like you are a target for sex only...take the advice of the other poster who said you should get into some small talk- enjoy people's company for the sake of company..relax and be human..it's not about getting hit on...it's about really enjoying people..try that and the rest will come on it;s own.
Obviously the issue isn't quite as pressing for the OP because she/he has only posted once (under the name of a teenie bopper boy band) and never came back for all of this fabulous advice!
But should she/he come back I would recommend that the OP try to figure out what this woman does because she has a White boyfriend too.
Obviously the issue is quite as pressing for the OP because she/he has only posted once (under the name of a teenie bopper boy band) and never came back for all of this fabulous advice!
But should she/he come back I would recommend that the OP try to figure out what this woman does because she has a White boyfriend too.
Don't feel bad, OP, the white guys don't/didn't hit on me either, and I'm the "ideal" blond-haired, blue-eyed female. When I say "white" I'm probably using the definition you're thinking of, the Heinz-57 American, mostly or entirely northern European kind. Certain ethnicities are quite the opposite--if the guy sees an attractive woman he HAS TO say something! Fine with me. I just know not to take it too seriously. It seems the typical white guy waits too long, is too shy, is too ambivalent, or too something. There's always something.
Anyway, you seem like a young woman so you don't need to rush. You'll find love and loss with a white guy soon enough.
Location: Fort Bend County, TX/USA/Mississauga, ON/Canada
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Go to Europe. Problem solved.
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, etc., but that is it. Am I just reading these men wrong or what?? Is staring no longer a sign that someone is attracted to you? All I really want is for this guy to finally just say hi and talk to me. I feel like I am in grade school again. 
Fine with me. I just know not to take it too seriously. It seems the typical white guy waits too long, is too shy, is too ambivalent, or too something. There's always something.