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Please read the entire OP before replying, thanks.
My best friend (who is white), also kind of said, "ugh", when she heard that as well.
Not that it bothers me that he's into black women, it's just that I don't date like to date guys that have that sort of preference for various reasons. I don't think he has a fetish, per se, but I just haven't gotten on well with dating white men whose preference is for black women. Most of the white men I've dated have had no ethnic/racial preference, but I prefer if they have one interracial relationship (not one night stand) under their belt because they don't act touchy/defensive discussing race and it's not a novelty. That said...
Not to generalize, but I note that guys with an ethnic fetish seem to date all sorts of women from that background, which is inexplicable and a turn off for me. I used to work at a hotel bar and there was a guy who would always go there with Asian hookers, so it was clear he was predominantly attracted to Asian women. Some of them were cute, some of them were young, some were old, one was wall-eyed with gap teeth. I mean, I know he was paying them, but I wouldn't find someone attractive if they would go out with anyone of my background just because they happened to be of my background.
In that same vein, white men who are into black women often jump on the nearest one they see. There is a very attractive tall blond Aussie that comes to my job very often for beers. He has been pursuing me hardcore, every day that I'm there, begging for my number. He's married. To a tall black girl that looks like a model who is always happy and smiley. Yet he jumps on the nearest black woman he sees, and that's me apparently.
Not that my bf is like that at all. He is very monogamy oriented and thinks promiscuity is gross. But I still get that inkling, like when I introduced him to this black female bartender that works at my sister bar like "I wonder if he's attracted". Not that I'm that I'm jealous, just wondering if he's attracted to random black chicks just because they happen to be black. Later on I teased him, asked him if he was attracted to K, would have sex with K, etc. which he answered extremely diplomatically with, "I'm attracted to you and want to have sex with you."
In either case end the relationship if you're going to have hang ups. If you are suspicious and jealous then why even waste your time? And it seems to me you don't need to date white men if you're going to constantly have this hang up. I'm sure you can date Asian men, they clearly need loving.
If you gleaned "suspicion" and "jealousy" from my post you didn't read it.
I read your entire post. And stop trying to divert attention. You act as if suspicion is harmless, when its quite destructive a relationship. You have hangup, do you think it'll eventually go away? You aren't making cute observations, you have strong opinions of white men who date black women. And clearly you're not going to ever feel comfortable with this to have a meaningful relationship with men who are like this. So why are you wasting your time? Relationships with suspicion and insecurity go nowhere. Never has these things been ingredients to healthy relationships. Seems you need. To work on yourself, which is something you won't and can't do in a relationship. Looks like you need to take some time out for yourself, and figure out what it is you want.
I would be more concerned that he has a "baby's mother" at all. Men with illegitimate children are of low quality. I don't understand why any woman in her 20s would get into a relationship with such a man. I wouldn't, and I am dating in the 40+ demographic where one must accept all sorts of baggage. That said, perhaps I am just old fashioned.
I think people who specialize in one race or ethnicity have major issues. Like you said, they are not so much into the person as they are their appearance or race or ethnicity. You have to ask why.
It seems very shallow and I don't know how you could ever have a meaningful relationship with someone who is shallow and has not questioned their one-track preferences.
Men with illegitimate children are of low quality.
Cause I don't like that generalization? Because my mother had illlegitimate children and she's not "low quality".
Anyway, she had the ring that releases hormones inside of her as birth control (sorry I don't know that much about hormonal birth control because I don't use it) and it failed.
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