Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Guys who think women are about looks are playing themselves. A woman will get over how the guy looks after 3 conversations. Probably 1 conversation a lot of the times
Your logic. How can you have confidence if you are inarticulate and socially awkward? Confidence implies being articulate and not socially awkward.
No faulty logic at all! Plenty of inarticulate, socially awkward men are confident--not that it helps much.
I remember a short, ugly little guy who regularly haunted a Chicago night club I used to go to during the early 1990s. He wouldn't even bother trying to chat women up or ask them to dance. He would simply step right up to them, at the bar or on the dance floor, and start groping them, grinding his crotch into their legs and whispering vulgar suggestions into their ears. Needless to say, he was always rejected. But it didn't phase him a bit. He would always just shrug and say, "she's just stuck up." Then he'd try again with someone else a few minutes later.
No faulty logic at all! Plenty of inarticulate, socially awkward men are confident--not that it helps much.
I remember a short, ugly little guy who regularly haunted a Chicago night club I used to go to during the early 1990s. He wouldn't even bother trying to chat women up or ask them to dance. He would simply step right up to them, at the bar or on the dance floor, and start groping them, grinding his crotch into their legs and whispering vulgar suggestions into their ears. Needless to say, he was always rejected. But it didn't phase him a bit. He would always just shrug and say, "she's just stuck up." Then he'd try again with someone else a few minutes later.
Confidence - 40%
Social Skills - 30%
Style - 20%
Looks - 10%
Money - is used to keep the girl interested if the guy has no game (most likely, he'll get played though)
Quote:
Originally Posted by gamma19
In terms of attracting women, I would say confidence can certainly help, but being confident will never replace looks in initial attraction. For example, I knew a guy in college who was about 5' 7" and definitely over 300 pounds and looked it ; he was what one would call overweight or obese. However, he had a certain charm and charisma when it came to dealing with people: he was a resident assistant, served as president of many student clubs, and was very well known on campus. He was dating a girl whom most would probably consider out of "his league". On the flip side, another friend of mine is very conventionally good looking; tall, chiseled jaw, toned muscles and abs. However, he lacked confidence and was very quiet and shy. At almost every party we were at he would end up taking a girl home at the end of the night; usually the girls would approach him first and chat him up. He even admitted to me when he was drunk that he "had no idea why these hot girls liked [him]". So I would say that confidence/charisma can certainly help an unattractive man, but if you have the looks you're good to go, regardless of confidence.
Your first friend would get even hotter girls if he lost weight. I don't consider weight to be part of the "looks" discussion because it's something that's easily changeable (as opposed to looks and height, which, unless you do massive invasive procedures, you're stuck with).
Your second friend sounds like he doesn't like to approach, but once he gets girls talking, he's good to go. I know many guys like this. It doesn't mean that he doesn't have game (it certainly sounds like he does). It just means that he's a wimp when it comes to approaching.
Here's the thing with looks: it helps you out INITIALLY. It may get the girl to approach you or may get them to stick around a little longer, but if the guy has no game, he will not get the girl. Period. I don't care how good looking he is.
No faulty logic at all! Plenty of inarticulate, socially awkward men are confident--not that it helps much.
I remember a short, ugly little guy who regularly haunted a Chicago night club I used to go to during the early 1990s. He wouldn't even bother trying to chat women up or ask them to dance. He would simply step right up to them, at the bar or on the dance floor, and start groping them, grinding his crotch into their legs and whispering vulgar suggestions into their ears. Needless to say, he was always rejected. But it didn't phase him a bit. He would always just shrug and say, "she's just stuck up." Then he'd try again with someone else a few minutes later.
Now, that is confidence!
In Brazil I remember partying in this club in Rio (the same one where the guy gets shot in that move "City of God") and see some guy grab a girl as she walked by him. He grabbed her with his arm around her neck and kissed her on the mouth at the same time keeping her head locked. When I was seeing it, I thought she was his gf. But as soon as he let go, she ran away. I talked to some friends, and apparently that's common.
During Carnival in Salvador I ended up trying it and it worked great. I'm pretty sure in the states other than being rejected, jail time could be a very real possibility. This is a great point on how confidence means very different things to different people across cultures.
In Brazil I remember partying in this club in Rio (the same one where the guy gets shot in that move "City of God") and see some guy grab a girl as she walked by him. He grabbed her with his arm around her neck and kissed her on the mouth at the same time keeping her head locked. When I was seeing it, I thought she was his gf. But as soon as he let go, she ran away. I talked to some friends, and apparently that's common.
During Carnival in Salvador I ended up trying it and it worked great. I'm pretty sure in the states other than being rejected, jail time could be a very real possibility. This is a great point on how confidence means very different things to different people across cultures.
A lot of it depends on how you do it. I do things like this commonly in clubs (except I don't grab them by their neck....I'll usually grab them by their arm and pull them in or by their waist). It displays masculine energy and the girls LOVE it.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,025,008 times
Reputation: 11862
Yes dating advice does sometimes sound like, 'no matter how you look like.etc if you have the confidence you can have success.' The thing is it's no guarantee. It's not like having confidence alone with definitely get you the girl. Looks play a part, for sure, at least for most women, as well as the finesse of flirtation lol.
A lot of it depends on how you do it. I do things like this commonly in clubs (except I don't grab them by their neck....I'll usually grab them by their arm and pull them in or by their waist). It displays masculine energy and the girls LOVE it.
I grab girls by the arm too to get their attention especially in crowded noisy clubs but it's another ballpark to grab her, hold her and kiss her. And yea, that requires a lot of confidence but few girls in the USA would be into it (you have to hold her even as she tries to free herself at first) as it's just culturally out of the blue. In Brazil it's common to the point of being accepted and a turn on. If a girl doesn't like it she just runs off.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
