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Old 10-07-2012, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Chicago
3,391 posts, read 3,736,288 times
Reputation: 7795

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We hear all the time how women find confident man attractive. But frankly, I think a lot of men have been oversold on this whole "be confident" business. Yes, confident people are more attractiveness than people who lack confidence. And yes, some people have plenty going for them, but lack the confidence to make the connections they want with others.

But the truth is, confidence only becomes a factor when a man has lots of other things going for him. If a man is good-looking, witty and charming, confidence can make the difference between his impressing a woman or not. But if a man is unattractive, inarticulate and socially awkward, no amount of confidence is going to help him overcome those limitations. In fact, an unappealing man brimming with confidence is more likely to strike women as creepy than desirable.

Am I wrong?
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Old 10-07-2012, 02:08 PM
 
Location: Central California
1,783 posts, read 1,915,179 times
Reputation: 1679
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy View Post
We hear all the time how women find confident man attractive. But frankly, I think a lot of men have been oversold on this whole "be confident" business. Yes, confident people are more attractiveness than people who lack confidence. And yes, some people have plenty going for them, but lack the confidence to make the connections they want with others.

But the truth is, confidence only becomes a factor when a man has lots of other things going for him. If a man is good-looking, witty and charming, confidence can make the difference between his impressing a woman or not. But if a man is unattractive, inarticulate and socially awkward, no amount of confidence is going to help him overcome those limitations. In fact, an unappealing man brimming with confidence is more likely to strike women as creepy than desirable.

Am I wrong?
Yes. You are very wrong.

If you can be confident with a woman and hold your frame the entire time, you can get her to do anything.
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Old 10-07-2012, 02:20 PM
 
5,364 posts, read 5,997,351 times
Reputation: 7158
Confidence is important but it depends on the guy and quality of women were talking about. Alot of people really believe that if your just confident you can pull any woman but of course we all know that's ducktales


Like for example it doesn't matter how confident my man Steve Urkel was hes not landing a ten. But some confidence could go along way to land women that were more on his level.

In HS I didn't have a whole lot of game and wasn't the most confident guy but I coasted on my looks.
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Old 10-07-2012, 02:28 PM
 
Location: NJ = liberalism is a mental disorder!
6,457 posts, read 4,387,420 times
Reputation: 3934
I'm no "10" of Men nor with a whole lot of $$, that perfect paying job, etc,...., but I still have confidence.

I am who I am if someone doesn't like me for who and what I am it's their loss - that's how I approach society.
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Old 10-07-2012, 02:28 PM
 
4,232 posts, read 6,054,832 times
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Ted Bundy had lots of confidence.
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Old 10-07-2012, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,077 posts, read 13,059,000 times
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As a woman, sure, confidence in a man goes a long way but I must agree that if its the ONLY thing a man has going for him, he won't get very far. On that note and to extend this thread, I had an interesting conversation with a man earlier that said he can't get a woman to even look at him regardless of the fact he owns his home, has a good job he loves, no debt and is Mister Fix-It.. he believes that women would rather surround themselves with guys who are arrogant and worry more about the latest fashion trends while doing online shopping in the basement of their mothers house.

I tend to agree and i can sort of tie it to this thread. A man who can fix things rather than call and pay someone to fix things around the house, who owns his home, has a good job and a good head on his shoulders IS a confident man. That confidence along with the other good things going on in his life are appealing. This kind of man will certainly end up meeting the right person but if he had all that going and lacked confidence, perhaps not.

I just don't buy into if a man has confidence he can get women to do what he wants.
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Old 10-07-2012, 02:42 PM
 
Location: Central California
1,783 posts, read 1,915,179 times
Reputation: 1679
Quote:
Originally Posted by andreaspercheron View Post
As a woman, sure, confidence in a man goes a long way but I must agree that if its the ONLY thing a man has going for him, he won't get very far. On that note and to extend this thread, I had an interesting conversation with a man earlier that said he can't get a woman to even look at him regardless of the fact he owns his home, has a good job he loves, no debt and is Mister Fix-It.. he believes that women would rather surround themselves with guys who are arrogant and worry more about the latest fashion trends while doing online shopping in the basement of their mothers house.

I tend to agree and i can sort of tie it to this thread. A man who can fix things rather than call and pay someone to fix things around the house, who owns his home, has a good job and a good head on his shoulders IS a confident man. That confidence along with the other good things going on in his life are appealing. This kind of man will certainly end up meeting the right person but if he had all that going and lacked confidence, perhaps not.

I just don't buy into if a man has confidence he can get women to do what he wants.
If he has confidence and solid game, he can get at least a few attractive, educated women to do what he wants (I've seen it before). Not every woman, of course. But a few is enough.

Also, I've found that women don't care if the guy has a good head on his shoulders. Women on this forum will surely disagree with me, but what women say and what they do are 2 different things.
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Old 10-07-2012, 02:57 PM
 
Location: NJ = liberalism is a mental disorder!
6,457 posts, read 4,387,420 times
Reputation: 3934
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainJack87 View Post
If he has confidence and solid game, he can get at least a few attractive, educated women to do what he wants (I've seen it before). Not every woman, of course. But a few is enough.

Also, I've found that women don't care if the guy has a good head on his shoulders. Women on this forum will surely disagree with me, but what women say and what they do are 2 different things.
Ahhhhhh! And that can change at anytime.

I take a carefree and don't sweat it approach.

If it happens = okay.

If it doesn't happen = okay.

I'm not going to worry about how one perceives me or how I possibly be their handy extra "anything goes in here" and good for their "me-me" selfish reasons.

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Old 10-07-2012, 03:02 PM
 
3,262 posts, read 3,001,812 times
Reputation: 1893
Confidence matters to a point, but no more.

Having the confidence to approach a girl in the first place, and having the confidence to not blatantly appear to think you are unworthy of her are basic prerequisites to success. Once you have that much, more does not have a significant impact.

Think of it like one of those roller-coaster signs reading "you must be this tall to ride." Once you're over the line, it no longer matters, but getting to that line matters a lot.
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Old 10-07-2012, 03:05 PM
 
Location: NJ = liberalism is a mental disorder!
6,457 posts, read 4,387,420 times
Reputation: 3934
Quote:
Originally Posted by ALackOfCreativity View Post
Confidence matters to a point, but no more.

Having the confidence to approach a girl in the first place, and having the confidence to not blatantly appear to think you are unworthy of her are basic prerequisites to success. Once you have that much, more does not have a significant impact.

Think of it like one of those roller-coaster signs reading "you must be this tall to ride." Once you're over the line, it no longer matters, but getting to that line matters a lot.
Yep, and also doesn't guarantee future success with her IMHO.
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