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Right now that guy is a tool and him taking her back doesnt' mean he loves her it means he has low self-esteem. They're both better off alone since clearly neither of them loves themselves.
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Originally Posted by Alicant310
Remorse is an artifical response to make herself feel like a good person when shes NOT. Once a cheater always a cheater.
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Originally Posted by twinsoul
Her suggesting counsuling is smoke and mirrors.
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Originally Posted by brokencrayola
Personally I think if she wasn't caught she'd still be boinking that guy.
What a bunch of judgmental pontificators. Need a soapbox to go with that? Or how about an upright pole and a bunch of stones to throw at the dastardly offender tied to it and who you seem to know so well.
Faxton9, just stay OUT of it. Your true role as a friend is to listen and not to give advice.
I think that if the b/f can find it in his heart to forgive her and take her back (it seems from the OP's posts so far that he really does love her, very much), all the more credit to him. If she is genuinely remorseful and still loves him and will never cheat again, I don't quite get why so many people are against the b/f taking her back?
In MHO, real love is by its very nature forgiving, and ultimately has the capacity for forgiveness, and redemption...
If your BF/GF plays with fire and burns down your house, are you really going to trust them to handle matches? No.
Can they prove that they won't do it again? No.
Can you forgive them? Maybe.
Will they interpret that as being able to do it again? Probably.
If they get caught twice, will they remind you that you forgave it last time? Of course.
1) stay out of it.
2) how did her cheating occur? I think it's important to know if she went out on a date with the guy or if she was over at a co-workers house had some wine and made out with him or did she get caught boning a guy she just met at the bar and brought home?
3) At her age, yeah it could be just a mistake but does that resolve the reason she chose to cheat in the first place? I guess that's the BIG question here....why did she cheat? If that's not understood and resolved then this will end badly.
Had they been going out together for a long time? I guess I need to know the specifics....personally, I'd probably dump her and not look back.
The biggest question is what was the understanding they had. Exclusive? engaged? Going steady? If there's no firm commitment, then I'd have a hard time calling it cheating. And I'd have to question actually, why she wants the BF? She obviously isn't satisfied with just him and isn't ready for a commitment. My guess she's just keeping him, but hoping something better comes along. Some people have this mind set their whole life. Then again, some people just aren't satisfied with just one.
2) how did her cheating occur? I think it's important to know if she went out on a date with the guy or if she was over at a co-workers house had some wine and made out with him or did she get caught boning a guy she just met at the bar and brought home?
3) At her age, yeah it could be just a mistake but does that resolve the reason she chose to cheat in the first place? I guess that's the BIG question here....why did she cheat? If that's not understood and resolved then this will end badly.
Had they been going out together for a long time? I guess I need to know the specifics....personally, I'd probably dump her and not look back.
They have been together for 2 years. I don't know why she cheated but I think it's because the guy worked too hard and didn't have much time to spend with her (though he would still take her out on the weekends) or because of issues from her past. I have a feeling something was missing.
Regarding how her cheating occur, according to her it was with a guy she knew from her freshman year in high school and they both reconnected online. Then she invited him and well then she got busted. The only thing that might saved her is the guy didn't actually caught the sex part but when it was over, them being both drunk and she was a mess. By then, her man figured out what happened and that's about it.
The biggest question is what was the understanding they had. Exclusive? engaged? Going steady?
They were exclusive for 2 years.
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