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Old 10-13-2012, 11:46 PM
 
Location: I currently live in Washington DC
135 posts, read 146,878 times
Reputation: 35

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As I've been dating over the years I came to the conclusion that I require 4 things in a prospect. One that she has intelligence, two she has goals and is working towards them, three she has a great sense of humor, and four she has to be attractive TO ME..... Is that really too much to ask for?
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Old 10-13-2012, 11:49 PM
 
Location: In an indoor space
7,685 posts, read 6,177,334 times
Reputation: 5154
Quote:
Originally Posted by nlsanders View Post
As I've been dating over the years I came to the conclusion that I require 4 things in a prospect. One that she has intelligence, two she has goals and is working towards them, three she has a great sense of humor, and four she has to be attractive TO ME..... Is that really too much to ask for?
As long as you don't judge her goals negatively, I don't think you're asking for much at all.
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Old 10-13-2012, 11:54 PM
 
Location: I currently live in Washington DC
135 posts, read 146,878 times
Reputation: 35
Quote:
Originally Posted by lol-its-good4U View Post
As long as you don't judge her goals negatively, I don't think you're asking for much at all.
Im all for most goals. But it seems like I only come across two types of women and NEITHER of those types I can never seem to have relationships or even long term dating with...
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Old 10-13-2012, 11:57 PM
 
Location: In an indoor space
7,685 posts, read 6,177,334 times
Reputation: 5154
Quote:
Originally Posted by nlsanders View Post
Im all for most goals. But it seems like I only come across two types of women and NEITHER of those types I can never seem to have relationships or even long term dating with...
Maybe it's where you reside?

Also maybe try a different way of meeting women?

It's a "rough" dating world out there.
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Old 10-14-2012, 12:02 AM
 
Location: I currently live in Washington DC
135 posts, read 146,878 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lol-its-good4U View Post
Maybe it's where you reside?

Also maybe try a different way of meeting women?

It's a "rough" dating world out there.
Where I reside could be the problem. The job market here is probably the best in the country unfortunately. Ive tried all sorts of way of meeting women. online dating, meetups, clubs, book stores ect...... none of it seems to be working out too well. And with online dating it just seems like im wasting money and the women dont seem to be attracted to me. Up until recently I thought I was an OK looking guy, but apparently not.
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Old 10-14-2012, 12:03 AM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
13,290 posts, read 15,264,049 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nlsanders View Post
Where I reside could be the problem. The job market here is probably the best in the country unfortunately.
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Old 10-14-2012, 12:06 AM
 
1,468 posts, read 2,146,577 times
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Originally Posted by filihok View Post
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Old 10-14-2012, 12:09 AM
 
Location: I currently live in Washington DC
135 posts, read 146,878 times
Reputation: 35
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Originally Posted by Elle Oh Elle View Post
I live in the DC area.....compared to the rest of the country jobs here are great. And Im not in much of a position to now even if I wanted too.
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Old 10-14-2012, 12:19 AM
 
1,468 posts, read 2,146,577 times
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I know you live in DC, I saw the "Location:" bit.

But IDK what to say! Personally, I don't think you have too many relationship requirements!
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Old 10-14-2012, 04:08 AM
 
496 posts, read 939,735 times
Reputation: 418
Quote:
Originally Posted by nlsanders View Post
Where I reside could be the problem. The job market here is probably the best in the country unfortunately. Ive tried all sorts of way of meeting women. online dating, meetups, clubs, book stores ect...... none of it seems to be working out too well. And with online dating it just seems like im wasting money and the women dont seem to be attracted to me. Up until recently I thought I was an OK looking guy, but apparently not.
I've watched a handful of people do online dating. It appears to be similar to online shopping... there are unlimited prospects and everyone has this heightened expectation of finding exactly what they want... neatly packaged with the best price. Converting that to human terms, I suspect a lot of people are looking for that mythological click, rather than the flesh and blood that people really are. I suspect there's also a shorter attention span because of the endless mythical fruit finding in which they can engage if they turn their attention from an acceptable, but real prospect. It's just a totally different ballgame. But people aren't accessories; they're to be met and understood on their own terms, not through some voyeuristically selective lens. Essentially, what I'm saying is that unless these people have spent quality time getting to know you, a quick rejection is nothing more than a reflection of a gut reaction. As you mentioned, there is more to the gut reaction than appearance. And meeting people online is just different from making your initial contacts in the flesh in real, present time. Because you and they have no way of knowing if there is real potential there, you collectively put yourself in a boiler plate situation in which rejection is not just possible, but likely, in a way that it wasn't with traditional dating. I think, with online dating, you just have to take it less personally than any other form of meeting and dating people.

Your list of must-haves does not seem at all unreasonable to me. In fact, I bet you have a few qualities you would add to that list if you were going to make it exhaustive. Nonetheless, it's always hard to find that person that you can be compatible with for a long period of time. Everyone has a long list of unique interests, needs, and priorities and finding someone whose nuances interlock with yours is a worthy challenge. It could take years, months, or weeks. In the meantime, though, try not to let the inertia of speed dating get you down. It's hardly real. Until it's Real, of course.
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