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Ever considered that the people ignoring you aren't very interesting themselves. I mean, I use to put myself down. But man, if I listed my all my good qualities, it would be a long list. I'm an awesome person, and if someone refuses to see it, it's their loss. I feel they're missing out.
That's why I wish to get out of the friend zone. These people gave me a chance and turned out to be pretty darn interesting people. Although I have been in relationships, I haven't exactly met quality women.
I've seen many posts about women being in great marriages with men who were friends first...
Was there any specific things that these men did to stop being friends?
I believe these women were sexually attracted to the guy from the start but just wanted to take these slowly so they said "friends first". I also think in some cases women get with guys they aren't really sexually attracted to but they have a strong emotional connection/bond and they go with that.
Other than that, it's impossible to get out of the friendzone.
That's why I wish to get out of the friend zone. These people gave me a chance and turned out to be pretty darn interesting people. Although I have been in relationships, I haven't exactly met quality women.
Yeah, you can be interesting to people, but that doesn't mean that they have to be attracted to you. You want the friends because they're there, you have a common interest, you don't have to go through the drama, and by all logic it should be an easy conversion. But hey, life's complicated like that. The easiest route unfortunately isn't always the best. The people in your life right now aren't the only people who will find you interesting. Just represent who you are and what you're all about, and see who bites. One day a young lady may bite who is single, unattached, is of great quality, and is also attracted to you.
I'm a very reserved guy too. But I've learned you just have to put yourself out there. You're not quiet because you don't want to talk. You're being quiet because you're too worried about what you will say and how it will be perceived. There is nothing right or wrong you can say. Just put it out there and see what happens. Someone is offstandish, oh well move on to the next person. I have problems speaking up myself even till this day. So I'll start off with 'pardon me', and try to get the ball rolling with a question or an observation.
It's not even that I care about what other people think about what I have to say. I've made a complete ass out of myself on many occasions. My favorite comedian is me! I can't imagine it being anything like having an issue about putting myself out there, as I've done it numerous times. Rejection is mistaken as my first name sometimes.
I'm just a silent person. I have nothing of importance to say or add until I'm asked a question. It's literally as simple as that.
Men do have friendzones for women. It's normally called a "jump off" or a "friend with benefits" . Men friends and associates are all based on interest and common hobbies. Very RARELY do men really hold women in the same standing as his male friends. A female friend is a "Hey how have things been going" every 8 months status. Men do not really voluntarily put women in a friend category because that means hanging out and doing stuff he likes to do with male friends. And a BIG part of being a man with male friends is some pretty male-centric conversations you can have, which doesn't transition well to a female friend.
Just how men don't value female relationships where they sit around all day and talk about feelings all day. A female "friendship" just pure hell to endure. I've had several, and there is a major time investment to being a friend with females.
All friendship are not creates equal across genders. That's a reality people just aren't willing to accept
If people are just TRULY,TRULY friends and there are no feeling involved, then they can be friends. I have a male friend who is a co-worker. He and I met when he was married, and we became friends. IHe is now divorced and living with another chick. I have no feelings for him, and he does not for me, other than being good friends. but, we talk every single day, and it's usually him that does the calling. We both talk about work, or about what our significant others did to **** us off. LOL He has done some dumb stuff within his relationships, and he likes to talk to me about stuff. and vice versa, If I have a question regarding an issue with a male, i will ask him. It works out for both of us. I know his mom/dad, and and go over their house whenever I want. We are just buddies, and I probably talk to him more regularly than some of my female friends.
However, this can only work when there is TRULY NO feelings between both parties. If one secretly likes the other then that is not good.
Yeah, you can be interesting to people, but that doesn't mean that they have to be attracted to you. You want the friends because they're there, you have a common interest, you don't have to go through the drama, and by all logic it should be an easy conversion. But hey, life's complicated like that. The easiest route unfortunately isn't always the best. The people in your life right now aren't the only people who will find you interesting. Just represent who you are and what you're all about, and see who bites. One day a young lady may bite who is single, unattached, is of great quality, and is also attracted to you.
The friendzone is the same for both men and women. It means NO sexual attraction and you're only in there if you've never had sex with the other person. Sometimes people think they were put in the friendzone after they'd had sex with someone, but that is accurately called "getting dumped".
Hey just do what I did. Go and talk to women, and just talk. Make random conversation with women, don't expect much. Just see how things vibe. It's simple, but I know it's hard making that first step. Now if I feel like it, I chat it up with starbucks baristas, women at the cleaners, the grocery female cashier, just anyone. Not expecting to get a number, or eventually walk down the aisle with them. Just honing my chops for small talk.
I started out with foreign women with foreign names. The best ice breaker for them is 'How do you pronounce that'? They're normally oh pronounced ___, and if I get it wrong they normally laugh. May ask where they're from, and it starts from there. It's simple. I love to read about other cultures, so ocassionally I may throw a general fact about the country out there, and a lot of the times they'll say something like 'oh, how do you know that'. Trust me, it's great to experiment on foreign service workers, they're generally the friendliest. Very easy to start a conversation with as well. American women are a little rough, takes a bit of social chops to pull conversations out of them. they're usually very guarded and walled up.
Just ask him or her if you can be more than just friends, it's actually rather simple.
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