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You really think so. Should we keep it to some people aren't pretty ( you know that's not true of course), enough to warrant being bombarded the hit squad, must be men of a make believe lesser tier and it's only because some people live in certain economical areas?
Someone asked a question, women gave simple answers, some want more info, kind of how these things work.
Q Do you like all the attention?
A No
Q Why not?
A Because this that and more info provided
from those that haven't experienced it much known as the Q gang = Not good enough, we think it's because this that and that.
A OK let us elaborate.
I have the minutes if you want them provided. Just sayin. (J/S, the latest snippet right after, whatever, that's seen it's hay day).
Well, yes. If you live in suburbia and only ever leave your subdivision in a car, you are unlikely to encounter very many strangers who would have the opportunity to harass you. But it is a logical fallacy to conclude from there that people who fit the demographic or socioeconomic profile of your suburb are less likely to act inappropriate toward strangers they encounter elsewhere.
Depending on education and social norms, those inappropriate remarks may be more or less subtly stated (e.g. "exotic beauty" vs. "sexy *****" ), but the objectification behind them does not change.
I'm not talking about the quality - but merely the quantity. Harassment can occur anywhere. I'm just saying that in the lower income areas - I experience more blatant come ons and they occur more often. Bad people, though, live in all areas.
Have to say, normally, on threads, I don't share much about personal moments that cause me to have deep pain, (pts moment) and prefer not to elaborate on some situations, but talking in this thread has caused me to relive a couple of moments more deeply than I cared to. It may seem illogical for us to be cautious of strangers we encounter on the street, some are extremely charming, friendly, many with nothing but good intent, but not all. I don't even walk about reliving my bad moments, and still that in and of its self isn't the reason I've spent many a time disliking being hit on, but some of us do have good reasons not to think just because you smile, sound and look like a nice decent man, you indeed are those things. I always give people the benefit of the doubt, but, I'm not going to assume, just because you seem nice you have good or bad intentions toward me based on your opening words of communication. It doesn't mean you shouldn't approach, just means, don't approach with feelings of entitlement. I don't expect others to babysit my feelings nor should you expect that, if you don't have an interest in me, If I'm the approacher, or I don't have an show an interest to talk you, we call it a day; someone else is out there that may appreciate what your selling.
I really don't want men to feel that they should give up on approaching women, that isn't what most are trying to say here, just be polite about a refusal or if a person shows a lack of interest, who knows what that person's day may have been like or even if they just aren't interested, it's their right of refusal. But, many, many women are open to talking with you if you aren't being rude, salacious overly aggressive.
This is good advice.
But like I said I'm taking extended vacation on human interaction helps my sanity and others.
why, because it doesn't validate you feelings for not getting hit on
For the poster who left me this rep comment in response to my above post, why not post this publicly? There's nothing offensive about your question/statement.
So, could someone shed some light on the psychology of the drive-by cat-call? What's the point? These guys aren't looking to pick up women, because they're usually racing past at 40+ mph. Do they think they're being complementary? Are they just letting off some testosterone-filled steam? Are they showing off in front of their friends in the car? Has anyone noticed that the drive-by (or the speed-by) is peculiar to the US, among the developed countries? Is it about teen joy-riding? Is it about kids (or men--same thing, sometimes) and cars, a macho car culture? (Can we blame it on the auto industry? j/k) Is it an intimidation tactic/power display, as one of my friends insists?
So, could someone shed some light on the psychology of the drive-by cat-call? What's the point? These guys aren't looking to pick up women, because they're usually racing past at 40+ mph. Do they think they're being complementary? Are they just letting off some testosterone-filled steam? Are they showing off in front of their friends in the car? Has anyone noticed that the drive-by (or the speed-by) is peculiar to the US, among the developed countries? Is it about teen joy-riding? Is it about kids (or men--same thing, sometimes) and cars, a macho car culture? (Can we blame it on the auto industry? j/k) Is it an intimidation tactic/power display, as one of my friends insists?
Thanks, y'all. Good thread.
That'd be my guess and yes, they're showing off and I can't say if it's peculiar to the US but i've never heard of it over here.
That'd be my guess and yes, they're showing off and I can't say if it's peculiar to the US but i've never heard of it over here.
I've seen it happen a lot in Malaysia, usually if the women is obviously white or a foreigner. Usually from construction workers in lorries, people who would have absolutely no chance to even meet or talk to the women in question, let alone date them. I think it's a gesture meant to relieve insecurity. Also, since the chances they will get in trouble for it are slim since they are speeding by, they have nothing to lose by doing it.
Eh - when I lived in a "not as nice" section of NYC - I would get cat calls, whistles, cars honking, men approaching me, etc. from the time I left my apartment until I got on the subway. Scratch that - it continued even on the subway. I would get the same reaction whether I was dressed nicely or if I was running in an over sized shirt with my hair in pigtails with no make up on. When I moved to a more affluent area - it happened a lot less. Now that I live in the burbs/country outside of the city - it almost never happens. First of all, I live in a very tight knit community - so it would be pretty bizarre for one of my neighbors to whistle at me because I would probably know him... and his wife... and his children.
I think location does play a big factor.
Wow, crazy. If something like that happened to me, I'd still be prone to flipping out, even if they all were a bunch of Beyonce's and Salma Hayek's. Enough is enough after a while.
I'm not a woman, however I'll throw this out anyway...
Perception has a lot to do with it. (I am not insinuating anything about anyone here, just stating a few observations, and definitely not my personal actions or thoughts...)
For this, 'hitting on' will mean 'something implied sexually' and not mere conversation...
Much depends on the location and even more on the attire... If a woman dresses as a 'ho', should she not expect to be treated as such, and not only by whom she chooses...?
IOW, If she painted on a short skirt and is showing almost everything up top, would getting hit on not go with the territory...? Especially in a bar or club type setting... You could go as far as what a girl says, how she speaks... A girl dropping F bombs is giving off a certain vibe... Body language plays a part as well, as does who she is with and how they act... Many variables to consider...
I have seen a woman dressed as above, totally trash a guy that hit on her, tell her friend how bold (more choice words were used though...) the guy was, and literally seconds later, respond completely different to a better looking guy that basically said the same thing... How dare the uglier guy hit on her, but the player was ok... When you advertise, you can't expect only people that you want to respond...
A tip ladies, if you are getting 'hit on' a lot, you may want to step back and take a look at yourself...
Of course, it doesn't matter where or how one is dressed with some guys. Even a ring doesn't matter to many, be it male or female. Some guys will hit on anything, anywhere, anytime...
To sum it up, I would 'think' that a lady in a happy relationship would not want to be 'approached' (not limited to just being hit on) by men seeking a companion of any sort as they consider themself off the market, however it would also be reasonable for her to wear a ring letting others know that she is taken...
Keep in mind that many insecure people have a need to feel like they are wanted, admired, thought to be beautiful and such. It doesn't make them bad because they enjoy hearing someone tell them they are beautiful...as long as they don't go too far to instigate it... Ignoring unsolicited comments is usually the best response...
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