Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
At all, ever? Of course not. But it is nice to not care about whether I am pretty enough. My mother-in-law and I were out walking and she suggested we stop for a martini. I protested that I was in jeans with a ponytail and no makeup. "Who cares?" she asked. She was right. We were invisible and it was nice not to care.
I wouldn't want to be invisible all the time, though.
TRosa, looks like we were having the same thoughts at the same time!
John13, starting a conversation is a neutral act, but "hitting on" to me implies a sexual intention. I don't speak for all women, only for myself--but I would be more comfortable if interested parties would first start a conversation to establish whether I'm amenable to being hit on, rather than immediately assuming that I am.
I think this a "men are from Mars/women are from Venus" deal, because of the plenty of times this comes up the men of the board are surprised that many women don't think that all attention is good attention. In my world, "hitting on" isn't just making polite conversation, it's suggestive and sometimes inappropriate. If I'm walking down the street minding my business, I don't particularly care that some guy in a truck thinks I'm attractive.
I don't mind if a guy indicates that he thinks I'm attractive as long as it's done in a polite manner. In fact, I'm flattered, again as long as they're polite and don't cross a line.
I think this a "men are from Mars/women are from Venus" deal, because of the plenty of times this comes up the men of the board are surprised that many women don't think that all attention is good attention. In my world, "hitting on" isn't just making polite conversation, it's suggestive and sometimes inappropriate. If I'm walking down the street minding my business, I don't particularly care that some guy in a truck thinks I'm attractive. Except they never say it nicely like that, it's usually "Hey baby! Nice <insert body part here>!"
See, to me that harassment. And very rude to say the least.
I honestly thought "hitting on" was just walking up to someone to talk.
I just say oh well, it's ok, good luck, or something like that.
Some. I was very careful to word it so I was not painting the entire sex with one brush. Not only would that be wrong, it is also against the rules around here. I have both personally seen - and read on forums like this - about experiences where no matter how polite an advance is rebuffed the person rebuffed reacted more than a little badly.
I imagine it only has to happen once or twice to a woman before her stomach knots every time she sees a guy coming over as she wonders how it will go THIS time.
I think this a "men are from Mars/women are from Venus" deal, because of the plenty of times this comes up the men of the board are surprised that many women don't think that all attention is good attention. In my world, "hitting on" isn't just making polite conversation, it's suggestive and sometimes inappropriate. If I'm walking down the street minding my business, I don't particularly care that some guy in a truck thinks I'm attractive.
I wouldn't call it Mars/Venus as much as experience informing perception. I suspect most men have no idea how much unwelcome sexual commentary women hear while going about life minding their own business. I'd suspect myself of hyperbole if it weren't my own life, so that's not an accusation! It just isn't something that's discussed as much as it might benefit from.
I hope it's clear from my posts, but if it isn't, I have no reason to believe that you--the men on this thread--engage in street harassment, or that I think it is what hitting on someone means to you. I think, though, that understanding the context may help the good guys keep from getting mistaken for the other kind. Serious respect for personal space and boundaries is the first part of that; not leading with sexual innuendo (or, uh, something less subtle than innuendo) is another.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
