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This thread gives you good insight as why men have a hard time giving compliments to women:
1) About 1/2 the women here said the man would appear disingenuous by coming up to her and saying she is beautiful.
2) The other half is flattered and encourage the comment.
Whats a man to do
I think it ends up working out that the people that call you beautiful have low amounts of intent, so we end up disregarding it. Every other compliment is more effective.
For some men, "Hey Beautiful" is sort of a regular greeting, or a term of endearment. No more meaningful than "honey" or "sweetie." So it just gets brushed off.
And then there are the ones that subscribe to PUA techniques and are trying to use it to move quickly to the physical phase of the relationship.
So basically it feels like either all talk and no action or all talk and too much action.
^^^This, and also that it's not anyone's job to build up someone else's self-esteem. Self-esteem comes from you, internally, not externally from other people.
You know positive reinforcement from outside stimulus play a part in building self esteem.
I think it ends up working out that the people that call you beautiful have low amounts of intent, so we end up disregarding it. Every other compliment is more effective.
For some men, "Hey Beautiful" is sort of a regular greeting, or a term of endearment. No more meaningful than "honey" or "sweetie." So it just gets brushed off.
And then there are the ones that subscribe to PUA techniques and are trying to use it to move quickly to the physical phase of the relationship.
So basically it feels like either all talk and no action or all talk and too much action.
For me it would be analogous to being called Handsome or Cute. I can never decern if it's a generic comment or maybe something that Aunt Lucy or mom, or saying I'm warm for you?
Just be you. And how you want to come off to women.
I do, I was speaking generically. I do give compliments but rarely to anyone I just met. If the woman did react poorly I just do a quick notation in my head and move on.
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
Why would anyone say it and not mean it?
They're salesmen and they use is as a normal pattern with everyone they meet. I believe the majority of men don't go around and say you are beautiful indescriminately though.
When a man calls a women beautiful, women often cannot distinguish whether the man is just trying to get with her or if the man is saying it in a sincere way. If a man would make this clear to women, I don't think women would have a problem being called beautiful randomly.
They're salesmen and they use is as a normal pattern with everyone they meet. I believe the majority of men don't go around and say you are beautiful indescriminately though.
Right. I don't either.
If anything, I think even guys who would mean it have a hard time saying it and don't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by misskaedy
When a man calls a women beautiful, women often cannot distinguish whether the man is just trying to get with her or if the man is saying it in a sincere way. If a man would make this clear to women, I don't think women would have a problem being called beautiful randomly.
If he's single, he probably is trying to get with you. What's wrong with that? That doesn't mean he is not sincere.
Last edited by srjth; 10-17-2012 at 01:49 PM..
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