Where to meet nice single men? (school, years, age, realize)
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Come on now. How would a girlfriend be low on my list of priorities? I have 2 or 3 best friends now and they're very very high on my list of priorities and I hang out with them 2 or 3 times a week...it would be the same with a potential GF (although I could see her 3-4 days a week if she wanted)
Besides, I feel dumb joining a group or some sort of activity just to meet a girl. Also, I primarily spend my free time unwinding because I get so exhausted from my job
I got a part-time job bussing tables in a restaurant because i thought it would help me meet more women. That's how badly i wanted it. I basically learned how to do a whole new job, in addition to my full-time job, in order to meet women.
If you really want to meet a girl, is it really that hard to join an activity? You seem like a good dude... if you put in some effort, it would probably pay off.
I just need to add, the fact that you are not obsessed with sex is HUGE. That's really a helpful thing for you. Most guys have a pretty crazy sex drive that clouds our judgement a lot.
I got a part-time job bussing tables in a restaurant because i thought it would help me meet more women. That's how badly i wanted it. I basically learned how to do a whole new job, in addition to my full-time job, in order to meet women.
If you really want to meet a girl, is it really that hard to join an activity? You seem like a good dude... if you put in some effort, it would probably pay off.
I guess I'm just a little stubborn, I want to meet a girl on my own terms doing what I do now. I don't want to join an activity or group at the risk of hating the activity and still coming out forever alone anyways
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I just need to add, the fact that you are not obsessed with sex is HUGE. That's really a helpful thing for you. Most guys have a pretty crazy sex drive that clouds our judgement a lot.
I have a ferocious sex drive so I jerk off 2 or 3 times a day. This allows me to interact with women without caring about sex at all
I guess I'm just a little stubborn, I want to meet a girl on my own terms doing what I do now. I don't want to join an activity or group at the risk of hating the activity and still coming out forever alone anyways
The key is to pick activities that appeal to you. Don't force yourself to do something you have no interest in, except maybe to try it once and see if you like it.
Yea I think I would be good boyfriend material in that regard. I have never had any interest in sleeping around or being a player. I am also very unselfish in my relationships with other people...I get an immense joy out of helping people out and making them feel great in every way I can (without necessarily receiving anything in return). I take a lot of pride in having strong values and morals
I just need an opportunity
It sounds like you need to find a good recurring volunteer opportunity and that you'd find a comfort zone there. As for joining clubs, what about a hiking club? You could multitask: meet new people while exercising.
I really would consider Meetup. I'm actually a very shy person IRL, and about a year and a half after my husband died, I realized it wasn't up to my friends to babysit me and make sure I had a social life-they had their own lives and families. I started by joining a group just for women photographers. I didn't want to date; I just wanted to get out of the house. And then I joined a hiking group with a friend. As I got more comfortable, I joined other groups. There are a lot of single people in Meetup and not all groups are centered around dating-in fact, most are just about meeting people who enjoy doing the same activities as you do and most don't have requirements for how often you have to attend events. If nothing else, at least just look and see what is in your area.
As to the OP, I have it on good authority the men's room is not a good place to meet single men. At least it wasn't for my friend (who was preoccupied and NOT paying attention) last night.
The key is to pick activities that appeal to you. Don't force yourself to do something you have no interest in, except maybe to try it once and see if you like it.
Here's my schedule right now
Monday - work 9-9
Tuesday - work 1-9
Wednesday - work 9-9
Thursday - 9-5 (go out at night)
Friday - off (relax, do errands, work out, watch a movie or two)
Saturday - work 9-7 (go out at night)
Sunday - Play football in morning at a league, watch football all day - this is non negotiable, I am absolutely crazy about football
NWGirl, Great input. I don't know if there's hiking around the Chicago area, but there are hiking groups for singles, meet-ups for singles, canoeing/kayaking for singles, bowling leagues for singles, you get the idea. And in a group like that, there's no need to feel shy, because it's only natural for people to talk with each other. You don't have to worry about "approaching" because you're already there, in the middle of it, if you see what I mean. And you don't have to worry about initiating, because convos happen spontaneously. Let others start a convo, and you can chime in when you feel like it. If a woman takes a shine to you, she'll be friendly and will start chatting.
edit: Ah. I can see why you were interested in sportsfangal. Tricky schedule, too. You work Saturdays, and devote yourself to football Sundays. Well, at some point, you'll get so lonely you'll be willing to sacrifice some football time. Push will come to shove, and you won't be able to stand it anymore, and you'll re-order your priorities.
OR: ask your friends to organize a TV/football afternoon gathering, and invite their sisters, exes, female friends. Meeting through friends tends to work well.
Thurs/Sat nights: go out. Try some new destinations for going out. Does your town have a dedicated night for art gallery show openings? Go gallery-hopping one of those nights. If there are shows opening, they have refreshments, it's like a little reception, and people converge in part to meet new people, mix, mingle. Random conversations do happen, it's a completely different atmosphere than in a bar/club.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 10-26-2012 at 10:06 PM..
^^^ Great input. I don't know if there's hiking around the Chicago area, but there are hiking groups for singles, meet-ups for singles, canoeing/kayaking for singles, bowling leagues for singles, you get the idea. And in a group like that, there's no need to feel shy, because it's only natural for people to talk with each other. You don't have to worry about "approaching" because you're already there, in the middle of it, if you see what I mean. And you don't have to worry about initiating, because convos happen spontaneously. Let others start a convo, and you can chime in when you feel like it. If a woman takes a shine to you, she'll be friendly and will start chatting.
Meet up site = mostly people older than me. In fact a lot of those groups you talk about will likely feature women older than me
Dating in your early 20s after college sucks for that reason...most women you meet will be older than you and women rarely want to date younger men
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Originally Posted by NWGirl74
Are your hours flexible? I average about 45 hours a week but my typical day is from 7:00 to 4:00.
Meet up site = mostly people older than me. In fact a lot of those groups you talk about will likely feature women older than me
Dating in your early 20s after college sucks for that reason...most women you meet will be older than you and women rarely want to date younger men
.
I belong to a Meetup group for people in their 20's and 30's. A lot of the members are early-mid 20's who either are still in college or recently graduated and new to the area. Basically, what I'm reading is you want to meet someone but it has to be within the confines of your current routine.
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