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I went of POF for 2 days, just to see what its all about, and received about 15 messages from interested women, went out with 3 different girls, and am dating one of those three for the last 6 weeks, and things are going extremely well. I know some have decent luck with it, and some dont, its certainly worth a try. What i find appealing about online dating:
- its a breath of fresh air to meet someone outside of your network, meaning someone your freinds and family have never met
- you expand the pool of possible dates quite a bit
- you can prescreen and learn about the person quite a bit, before even sending a first message
- you then have a choice to get to know the person much better via text, emails, phone conversations - without investing time, effort and money in traditional dating.
I don't find that to be true. There are lots of rude and stupid men on POF, but OkCupid is ok. They're both free sites so at least you won't waste any money by trying them out.
Well, time is money and I wasted a lot of time on OKC.
I have come to the conclusion that online dating is much better for women as they are the ones in control and they don't have to respond to men's profiles. Women get far more responses than men do.
In my personal 5+ month effort it was like applying for a job in almost every case. I further got tired of the endless back and forths and general indecisions.
I had less than 10 women contact me first and I had an excellent, well written profile with pictures.
The fact that I'm older may have had something to do with that.
Well, time is money and I wasted a lot of time on OKC.
I have come to the conclusion that online dating is much better for women as they are the ones in control and they don't have to respond to men's profiles. Women get far more responses than men do.
That may be true, but it's not all fun and games for women either. I'm not sure if you tried any other sites but I read that men may have more of an advantage on eHarmony. I think there are more women than men on that site.
I had less than 10 women contact me first and I had an excellent, well written profile with pictures.
The fact that I'm older may have had something to do with that.
Also, this sounds normal. Women are less likely to make the first move both online and offline, so I'm not sure what your expectations were.
Be patient. It's a good way to "approach" a lot of people in a very short period of time. It can take time but that's okay in the long run, especially if you meet someone in which there is some compatibility.
People expect way to much and think it's going to be easy than they get frustrated. Give yourself a change. If you meet someone that you could possible spend a long time with, isn't it worth it to go over a few bumps in the road along the way?
It's not that bad, not as nearly as we seem to make it sound.
E harmony is a Christian site. I was on POF. It is a meat market. Our time is good for over 50, but I was surprised how many men are agnostic/atheist. Not for me....just sayin.
Be patient and don't have any expectations. Don't let it become a full time job. From what I've read here and on other forums, I think OKC vs POF is a regional thing. Neither seem to be that great here from what I've heard. If you use a paid site, be aware they use a lot of fake and inactive profiles to keep you reeled in and at least on Match, there's no way to know if someone really is active (my profile showed "active within 24 hours" two months after I last logged in-they keep profiles on file for a year).
Also, there are a lot of married people online looking for something on the side.
I have never dated online, and the main reason I haven't is all the stories I hear on CD about it. I hear that women get tons of rude and lude proposals and photos. I am not into that at all. The thing to always remember is anyone can say anything online about how they look, who they are etc. Always meet the person at a predestined place that has people around you, like a coffee shop, a restaurant etc. I would never let the man drive me, pick me up at my home, or go to his home on a first date.
I don't know if it's an age thing but I never got a single lewd or inappropriate message on pof while I was there. Mostly it was men who worship their motorcycles but I can deal with that. Just as I was ready to despair that there were no signs of intelligent life on there, I met a nice and very intelligent man so it can be done.
I've been on match since January. One of my best friends met her husband on Match and he was the third guy she ever met, so I think I went into it with unrealistic expectations. You really have to have almost no expectations. Don't go into it telling yourself you're looking for a boyfriend. Tell yourself you're going to meet new people and enjoy yourself. Enjoy each date for exactly what it is. Some dates will be great and lead to second dates, some dates will be great but the guy won't ever contact you again, some will be just okay, and some will be awful. I put way too much pressure on myself at first and dates ended up feeling more like interviews with me trying to figure out if the guy was relationship material or not. I have had a few bad experiences. I met a guy I really liked and we dated for a couple months only for him to stop contacting me out of the blue. I really think he just wanted fun and no strings attached sex. But it was a learning experience for me ya know? I dated another guy who did kind of did the same thing - he was newly divorced and probably not ready for a relationship, so just be mindful and don't jump into the relationship too fast or get overly excited about someone before you really get to know them.
Online dating is not just for desperate losers. There are nice people on there, but you do have to filter through a lot of people who misrepresent themselves and are just looking for quick hook ups or no strings attached dating sometimes. Don't take things that happen personally. I've had guys vanish on me, flake on me, stop replying to emails, and guys I emailed first who looked at my profile, but never wrote back. I really never thought I would try online dating, but it's not that easy to meet other single people just out and about. Be open to meeting people you encounter out and about, but it's really not a bad supplement. Good luck!
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