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Old 10-20-2012, 07:53 AM
 
Location: Tampa
151 posts, read 145,020 times
Reputation: 144

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I'm not talking about cards and board games...

Head games...

Do you try to make the person jealous?
Do you test what the person would do for you?
Do you not call or not answer for a given time?
Do you say that you are unavailable to see the reaction?
Do you drop hints to see if they are perceptive?

If you previously did, at what age did you stop and why?

What strategies do you use for determining to continue with the person?

Learning and discovery about each other would be natural, I'm just curious about taking it a bit further by playing games...
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Old 10-20-2012, 08:06 AM
 
2,152 posts, read 2,266,313 times
Reputation: 1678
Anyone that plays dating games should not be someone worth dating
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Old 10-20-2012, 08:36 AM
 
5,485 posts, read 5,257,108 times
Reputation: 5793
I try to avoid all games and drama, but I will make sure that a woman im approaching/persuing/dating knows that I have options, which almost always is pretty evident on its own. Many women will test guys who they have romantic interest in, but mostly only when they sense lack of confidence. SO when youre asked by a woman you just approached in a bar, to watch her coat, buy her drinks or even witness her trying to be all of a sudden standoffish or rude to you, she is only testing you to ensure that your le vel of confidence is where it needs to be. All it really means is that your approach is lacking, because if you are truly self-confident, witty and charming - women will not test you.
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Old 10-20-2012, 09:55 AM
 
4,764 posts, read 8,393,375 times
Reputation: 7650
No I do NOT play mind games.

And anyone dating me who does play mind games will find themselves single with a quickness!
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Old 10-20-2012, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 17,474,232 times
Reputation: 22029
No - I'm too transparent to play games.
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Old 10-20-2012, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Tampa
151 posts, read 145,020 times
Reputation: 144
So what do you do to get to know the person? Talking by means of question and answer? What do you like to talk about?
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Old 10-20-2012, 11:01 AM
 
Location: OC, CA
9,343 posts, read 11,034,190 times
Reputation: 8107
Almost everyone plays games all the time they are just in denial about it. Or they will play games semantic games and say they aren't doing it when they are, both men and women. People actually like some gamesmanship the problem is people take it too far. Flirting is gaming IMO and plenty of men and women do that everyday. People are competitive by nature so playing games can be fun. a little gaming is fine in the beginning but then at some point both parties need to show their true colors otherwise you are living a lie.
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Old 10-20-2012, 11:07 AM
 
4,764 posts, read 8,393,375 times
Reputation: 7650
Quote:
Originally Posted by KenFL View Post
So what do you do to get to know the person? Talking by means of question and answer? What do you like to talk about?
Well may dad always said "You don't really know someone until you have been with them for 7 years." I've learned he was a wise man.

Then in my case, I have worked with the public (people) most of my life. So I can just sort of tell what type a person is. Just a short conversation will do.

Anyway the best way to get to know someone is not to ask questions, rather make statements about yourself and your feelings. Then listen to their response.

Example 1:

Me: I like to go hiking, camping, and go for drives out in the woods or rural areas.

Friend: I like hiking too! Are they any good trails around here?

Me: Start talking about hiking trails in the area.


Example 2:

Me: I like to go hiking, camping, and go for drives out in the woods or rural areas.

Friend: I like to go shopping at Gucci and I like to eat at expensive restaurants.

Me: I just remembered I have an appointment, bye!


Example 3:

Me: I like to go hiking, camping, and go for drives out in the woods or rural areas.

Friend: Ignores me and starts texting on phone.

Me: Bye!
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Old 10-20-2012, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Rochester, N.Y
2,725 posts, read 3,526,488 times
Reputation: 4593
Quote:
Originally Posted by howdydoody342 View Post
Anyone that plays dating games should not be someone worth dating

I agree, but unfortunately many, many people do. I used to when I was younger myself. The minute I was uncertain I would play head games to see just how much she liked me. I was young and immature. Those are the ones who play head games the most. I fortunate for me grew up. That doesn't mean that older people don't play them too, they just never grew up emotionally. I found personally that when I grew up, I couldn't tolerate them anymore. I wasn't willing to play them nor was I willing to deal with them. When I was dating, the minute a women starts playing games and I've said this before on here, I go helter skelter on them. I used to be the master at playing head games, so it's a skill that you never forget. I play back really hard/ full throttle and then diss them/ never have anything to do with them again. A girl who plays head games is the biggest turn off in my book. Don't confuse head games with uncertainty or confusion. Sometimes people truly just don't know what they want and it might appear as head games. The key is figuring out which is which. But no, head games is a deal breaker. If I feel the need to mentally fk someone/ hurt someone, then there is no reason to be a part of that persons life.
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Old 10-20-2012, 11:11 AM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,199 posts, read 17,474,232 times
Reputation: 22029
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colorado xxxxx View Post
Almost everyone plays games all the time they are just in denial about it. Or they will play games semantic games and say they aren't doing it when they are, both men and women. People actually like some gamesmanship the problem is people take it too far. Flirting is gaming IMO and plenty of men and women do that everyday. People are competitive by nature so playing games can be fun. a little gaming is fine in the beginning but then at some point both parties need to show their true colors otherwise you are living a lie.
I think there is a difference between unintentional games and intentional ones. Making sure that people know you are wanted by others - that's an intentional game. Feeling rejected and downtrodden because you think the person you have feelings for doesn't feel the same way and flirting with someone else in front of them to make yourself feel better is an unintentional game. Knowing someone feels the same way about you and flirting with someone else in front of them to see how they react is an intentional game.

There is a lot of gray areas here.

Point being - when I have feelings for someone - I'm usually pretty obvious about it whether I intend to be or not. And if I have questions as to how they feel about me - I usually just ask them because I'm too impatient and transparent to try to get it out of them underhandedly.
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