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It's not about making a big approach. It's about being friendly and gregarious toward people throughout the day. Initiating low-key chats with people who cross your path every day. No one would even notice she was doing any "approaching".
Shy guys have been rarely known to treat women bad or reject them. They're usually grateful for the attention, especially from a pretty Filippina.
Ruth, we get what you're saying but the problem with the being friendly and gregarious approach is that men don't know if she's interested or not. You'll have to be in a position to observe her behavior to tell if she is doing those things bc she's interested or bc she is just being nice.
Remember the story I told about the woman in my gym who waved and smiled at me for weeks until I approached her? Sometimes, women do those things for not so good reasons. It's easy to understand why some men don't necessarily react the way you think that they should when a woman does those things.
It's not about making a big approach. It's about being friendly and gregarious toward people throughout the day. Initiating low-key chats with people who cross your path every day. No one would even notice she was doing any "approaching".
Shy guys have been rarely known to treat women bad or reject them. They're usually grateful for the attention, especially from a pretty Filippina.
Shy men would be grateful for anyone approaching them. But I also know many women won't do any low-key chatting. It is an extremely rare, do-do bird like anomaly, for a woman to walk up to me and initiate a conversation. It just doesn't happen. In fact, the last woman who initiated a conversation with me I had a long relationship with her. That was 5 years ago or better.
It's not about making a big approach. It's about being friendly and gregarious toward people throughout the day. Initiating low-key chats with people who cross your path every day. No one would even notice she was doing any "approaching".
Shy guys have been rarely known to treat women bad or reject them. They're usually grateful for the attention, especially from a pretty Filippina.
There is one big problem with 'shy guys' that I've come across. I'm not afraid to approach people, men or women, to start a conversation. I do it allll the time in many different situations. The biggest issues I've run into with shy guys (because I am highly attracted to the nerdy type of guy) is that getting them to talk is like pulling teeth. I'll go up, introduce myself and start asking questions and they'll just look around and answer 'yes' or 'no' without really elaborating and having an actual conversation. I'm really chatty and like good conversation, but when someone has zero conversation skills and can't even look me in the eye, how am I supposed to know if they're interested in me or not?
There is one big problem with 'shy guys' that I've come across. I'm not afraid to approach people, men or women, to start a conversation. I do it allll the time in many different situations. The biggest issues I've run into with shy guys (because I am highly attracted to the nerdy type of guy) is that getting them to talk is like pulling teeth. I'll go up, introduce myself and start asking questions and they'll just look around and answer 'yes' or 'no' without really elaborating and having an actual conversation. I'm really chatty and like good conversation, but when someone has zero conversation skills and can't even look me in the eye, how am I supposed to know if they're interested in me or not?
This is how I end up ditching certain types of introverts. No fun at all. I like conversational people. Selectively conversational is fine.
It is hard to read if you are getting the shy person that never chats or the shy person who is waiting for the right person to pour their heart out to.
There is one big problem with 'shy guys' that I've come across. I'm not afraid to approach people, men or women, to start a conversation. I do it allll the time in many different situations. The biggest issues I've run into with shy guys (because I am highly attracted to the nerdy type of guy) is that getting them to talk is like pulling teeth. I'll go up, introduce myself and start asking questions and they'll just look around and answer 'yes' or 'no' without really elaborating and having an actual conversation. I'm really chatty and like good conversation, but when someone has zero conversation skills and can't even look me in the eye, how am I supposed to know if they're interested in me or not?
Jet, I looked at your profile and you're absolutely beautiful. You also seem very intelligent/well spoken and your interests are awesome
How in the world do you struggle to find somebody? My god you're exactly the kind of girl most men want to marry
This is how I end up ditching certain types of introverts. No fun at all. I like conversational people. Selectively conversational is fine.
It is hard to read if you are getting the shy person that never chats or the shy person who is waiting for the right person to pour their heart out to.
I'm that 2nd guy. I'm told that I'm a charming person, but I'm not super talkative unless someone says something to me.
There is one big problem with 'shy guys' that I've come across. I'm not afraid to approach people, men or women, to start a conversation. I do it allll the time in many different situations. The biggest issues I've run into with shy guys (because I am highly attracted to the nerdy type of guy) is that getting them to talk is like pulling teeth. I'll go up, introduce myself and start asking questions and they'll just look around and answer 'yes' or 'no' without really elaborating and having an actual conversation. I'm really chatty and like good conversation, but when someone has zero conversation skills and can't even look me in the eye, how am I supposed to know if they're interested in me or not?
Well, I'll talk. But expect me to stumble while I take in them big green eyes for a minute or two...........
Ruth, we get what you're saying but the problem with the being friendly and gregarious approach is that men don't know if she's interested or not. You'll have to be in a position to observe her behavior to tell if she is doing those things bc she's interested or bc she is just being nice.
I was responding to the post that said her friends wouldn't let her be the initiator. My point was that they wouldn't even know she was initiating everything if she just made it part of her friendly manner.
She can let the guy know she's interested after he responds to her friendly overtures. A conversation ensues. If he doesn't say, "Can I buy you a coffee" or some such, himself, she can say, "nice talking with you. I'm _______. Are you around here a lot?" And if he stumbles around and gets tongue-tied, she can try one more time and say, "And you are ....... ?" He manages to stammer out his name. She says, "Nice to meet you, Bob. See you around." or "Hope to see you again sometime."
Is that clear enough? Some guys get really awkward when their dream drops in their lap, so no matter how easy the woman makes it for him, he'll still fail to close the deal, he'll freeze up.
This scenario does fall short of her asking for his number, but it does give him several opportunities to take the lead.
There is one big problem with 'shy guys' that I've come across. I'm not afraid to approach people, men or women, to start a conversation. I do it allll the time in many different situations. The biggest issues I've run into with shy guys (because I am highly attracted to the nerdy type of guy) is that getting them to talk is like pulling teeth. I'll go up, introduce myself and start asking questions and they'll just look around and answer 'yes' or 'no' without really elaborating and having an actual conversation. I'm really chatty and like good conversation, but when someone has zero conversation skills and can't even look me in the eye, how am I supposed to know if they're interested in me or not?
These are the super-shy guys. The deer-in-the-headlights effect. They get what they want, a great gal approaching them and chatting, possibly even someone they had their eye on, themselves, and they just freeze up, they panic. There's not much you can do with those, except maybe continue to attend the same events so they can get used to you being around.
Sheesh. And men say it's so easy for women.
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