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I've temporarily made my photo album public. These are the most recent pictures of me and not the ones used for a dating profile; these were just readily accessible when I created my profile.
Last summer/fall, I did an experiment to see if there is a difference between paid and free online sites. I did it for a blog entry so I tracked the results. The sites were Match and OK Cupid. Here are my results:
Ok Cupid: From 7/15-9/8, 87 men viewed my profile. Of those, I received messages from 6 men and sent a message to one. Of the six I received messages from, I replied back to one and that was the end of that. Another and I traded several messages but never went beyond that. He was the first to contact me, and was also the first to contact me 2 years ago when I tried the site for the first time. Of the one I contacted, I did not get a response.
From 9/9-9/27, my profile was viewed 10 times. I did not receive or send messages during this time. From 9/28-10/4, I received 4 profile views; again, did not send or receive messages during this time.
On Match, from 7/4-7/14, my profile was viewed 12 times, mostly by men out of my range. A peek of my settings revealed Match had changed my age range and increased it by 5 years on each side. I received two e-mails in response to ones I sent, both of which went back and forth a few times and fizzled. I did not receive any initial messages. I sent 12 winks; one viewed my profile but didn't respond, the other two sent the "thanks but no thanks" message without looking at my profile.
From 7/15-9/8, my profile was viewed 46 times, mostly by men over 45 despite my age range of 30-45. No winks or messages received. From 9/9-9/27, only 14 views, no winks or messages. From 9/28-10/3, only 5 profile views; again no winks or messages.
So either I'm the most unattractive woman to ever put up a profile, or the argument that women gets tons of messages just doesn't hold true for every single woman.
Sounds like you are getting a lot of views. Most people don't click on profiles with an unattractive photo.
I would also include the moderately obese women as options for men. If she could stand to lose 40 or 50 lbs, but she has a cute face, i'd say that's a realistic option. If she's like 100+ lbs overweight, most guys probably won't be interested in her.
I'd ask any woman who's 30+ pounds overweight how many genuine interested guys would consider her. They'll be few and far between. She'll get the guys who'll sleep with her but won't be seen with her in public, the guys who'll be with her because she's the best they can do right now but they're keeping their options open, the guys who think she'll be desperate and easy because of her weight, and the bigger girls will get the fetish guys. Like we've said before most women don't want to just be "an option" for a man.
Show me a good-looking guy with an attractive body and a lot of money who can't get a date?
If he's basically a d****bag.... he can't keep one. Pretty, and loaded don't ever make up for a lack of common courtesy and compassion. As to the money, just because they got it doesn't mean they are willing to spend it on a date, or girlfriend, or significant other. My experience is that the more money they have, the cheaper they are. I'd take a poor guy with a generous spirt over a d****bag any day.
I'd ask any woman who's 30+ pounds overweight how many genuine interested guys would consider her. They'll be few and far between. She'll get the guys who'll sleep with her but won't be seen with her in public: the guys who'll be with her because she's the best they can do right now but they're keeping their options open; and the bigger girls will get the fetish guys. Like we've said before most women don't want to just be "an option" for a man.
30 lbs is nothing.
Let's say you're 5'6" and 170 lbs. You'll still get LOTS of interest. Especially if you have the weight in the right places.
I'd ask any woman who's 30+ pounds overweight how many genuine interested guys would consider her. They'll be few and far between. She'll get the guys who'll sleep with her but won't be seen with her in public, the guys who'll be with her because she's the best they can do right now but they're keeping their options open, the guys who think she'll be desperate and easy because of her weight, and the bigger girls will get the fetish guys. Like we've said before most women don't want to just be "an option" for a man.
Well, what exactly do they want to be, then? Everyone is an option when they first start out dating. Once you get to know each other and get closer, then you start really valuing each other. Of course, then the woman complains that you are too clingy. Guys just can't win... women get upset when you don't care enough, and then they get upset when you care too much.
I think they struggle to get dates because of their standards more than anything else.
ANYONE can get a date or have sex if they lower their standards enough. Anyone.
I guess it depends on your definition of enough. I have lowered my standards somewhat in recent years, but there is no point in lowering your standards so far that you are with someone you aren't attracted to. You won't be happy, and you'll constantly be tempted to stray.
Well, what exactly do they want to be, then? Everyone is an option when they first start out dating. Once you get to know each other and get closer, then you start really valuing each other. Of course, then the woman complains that you are too clingy. Guys just can't win... women get upset when you don't care enough, and then they get upset when you care too much.
I can't speak for all women, but most women want to be wanted for who they are as a person, not just because he's horny and she's available.
I can't speak for all women, but most women want to be wanted for who they are as a person, not just because he's horny and she's available.
If that's what they want, then they should stop wearing the tightest clothes they can find when they go out places. It's so hypocritical how women complain that men view them as sex objects, when they themselves intentionally flaunt their sexuality. This is why i can't really feel much sympathy for women who complain that guys only care about their bodies and not about them as a person. Of course, not ALL women dress this way, but a lot of them do. If they didn't flaunt themselves, maybe guys would take more time to get to know and appreciate them as people.
This is why I like NWGirl's posts, because they're so real.
Thanks, Ruth! That's how I feel about yours too.
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