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I'm a married man closing in on 40, been married for about 10 years, no kids.
I'm going to leave my wife. This post isn't so much about that or the reasons. Its about the terminology.
I've been wandering through this and a few other forums, looking for similar situations and advice. What I have seen is fairly consistent. If a woman/wife departs the relationship she is leaving him. If a man/husband departs the same relationship he is abandoning her.
Why the stigma when a man leaves a woman but a sense of liberation if the situation is reversed?
I've only seen that terminology used for situations other than what you are presenting here.
I've seen it used for both genders, but more typically when there is kids or one of the spouses is facing hardship that will be magnified with a divorce.
It all depends on context. Has the person leaving tried to salvage the relationship? Is s/he leaving their spouse with debt or other problems while they walk away scot-free? Are they immediately moving into another relationship? All of that and more is going to color the perception that outsiders have of the split, but outsiders don't know what exactly was going on in the relationship to begin with.
'I'm going to leave my wife'. Guys don't talk like that. Guys say, 'I'm getting divorced'.
Women say, 'I'm leaving him'. Because women know they only stay until they can't tolerate it.
'I'm going to divorce my wife and go to relationship boards to find symathetic women' now that's whatever you see in it.
His limited post history indicates he is relocating..looks like he has been thinking about this for a while.
If you know this is something that you are going to do, have you told her, if so, why not?
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