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Old 10-24-2012, 12:10 PM
 
2 posts, read 2,279 times
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I'm a married man closing in on 40, been married for about 10 years, no kids.
I'm going to leave my wife. This post isn't so much about that or the reasons. Its about the terminology.

I've been wandering through this and a few other forums, looking for similar situations and advice. What I have seen is fairly consistent. If a woman/wife departs the relationship she is leaving him. If a man/husband departs the same relationship he is abandoning her.

Why the stigma when a man leaves a woman but a sense of liberation if the situation is reversed?
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:14 PM
 
708 posts, read 875,986 times
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I've only seen that terminology used for situations other than what you are presenting here.

I've seen it used for both genders, but more typically when there is kids or one of the spouses is facing hardship that will be magnified with a divorce.
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:17 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,069,663 times
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Actually, I've most commonly heard it referred to as "abandoning" when a woman leaves her husband and children.
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:18 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,071,294 times
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What difference does it make? Ending a marriage is ending a marriage no matter what you call it.
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:19 PM
 
Location: Katonah, NY
21,192 posts, read 25,069,663 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
What difference does it make? Ending a marriage is ending a marriage no matter what you call it.
And then there's that.
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:21 PM
 
708 posts, read 875,986 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
What difference does it make? Ending a marriage is ending a marriage no matter what you call it.
Yep.

Are you looking for others to validate your choice?
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:23 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,627 posts, read 34,103,329 times
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It all depends on context. Has the person leaving tried to salvage the relationship? Is s/he leaving their spouse with debt or other problems while they walk away scot-free? Are they immediately moving into another relationship? All of that and more is going to color the perception that outsiders have of the split, but outsiders don't know what exactly was going on in the relationship to begin with.
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:24 PM
 
9,408 posts, read 13,695,342 times
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They are both words which can be used synonymously.

What are you questioning exactly? The terminology or are you asking for advice about leaving your wife?
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Henderson, NV
1,089 posts, read 1,416,584 times
Reputation: 1782
'I'm going to leave my wife'. Guys don't talk like that. Guys say, 'I'm getting divorced'.
Women say, 'I'm leaving him'. Because women know they only stay until they can't tolerate it.


'I'm going to divorce my wife and go to relationship boards to find symathetic women' now that's whatever you see in it.
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Old 10-24-2012, 12:27 PM
 
708 posts, read 875,986 times
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His limited post history indicates he is relocating..looks like he has been thinking about this for a while.

If you know this is something that you are going to do, have you told her, if so, why not?
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