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Old 10-31-2012, 07:24 PM
 
28,896 posts, read 54,045,943 times
Reputation: 46669

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
I am aiming this at women though I suppose this happens to men too. However so many women I know repeat this pattern: they go out with a guy and then they sleep with him. They wait for his call only to find out he was just using her as a booty call. Now I know people who slept together on a first date and got married but am not talking about them. The fact is some people are only interested in sex and not relationships but they lie.

I was thinking of this as I read another thread and it reminded me of a movie I saw long ago. This woman slept with this man and got pregnant. When she had the baby he had married another woman and had nothing to do with her kid. This guy later had kids with his wife while he ignored his child by the other woman.

The fact is I have been used by men with regards to sex and it still angers me that I didn't realize it. It stinks when you see the man you think you are dating marrying someone else. So as a result I have vowed to be celibate until marriage or at least engagement.
Actually, deferring bed hopping is pretty good advice. Not for any particularly moral reason but from a practical reason. Sex creates an emotional bond, no matter what. Only a total sociopath can walk out of a bedroom after a one-night stand and not look back. What's more, despite all precautions, it's quite possible that you could be saddled with a child or a lifetime STD because you were indiscriminate in your bed partners.

At the same time, waiting until you're engaged or married is just plain dumb. Sexual compatibility is really important in any relationship.

 
Old 10-31-2012, 07:28 PM
 
3,963 posts, read 5,682,483 times
Reputation: 3711
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Actually, deferring bed hopping is pretty good advice. Not for any particularly moral reason but from a practical reason. Sex creates an emotional bond, no matter what. Only a total sociopath can walk out of a bedroom after a one-night stand and not look back. What's more, despite all precautions, it's quite possible that you could be saddled with a child or a lifetime STD because you were indiscriminate in your bed partners.

At the same time, waiting until you're engaged or married is just plain dumb. Sexual compatibility is really important in any relationship.
I guess I'm a sociopath. Seriously though, you don't have to be a sociopath to separate the emotional from the physical. Sexual intercourse is a physical act. Now if you add the emotion then that's your problem. I've done the one night stand and not look back plenty of times. It's not rocket science you know?
 
Old 10-31-2012, 08:08 PM
 
10,029 posts, read 10,875,114 times
Reputation: 5946
Quote:
Originally Posted by strawberrykiki View Post
I just saw this. You're right, I shouldn't have put words into the OP's mouth, but I stand by my comment. In an ideal world people would be responsible. They would use birth control, they would only have children when they had steady stable income, they would live within their means, etc. But this isn't an ideal world and I think some people are majorly lacking in compassion when it comes to this issue. Not everyone who uses or has used assistance in the past is a mooch. Some people need help. They don't have parents who act as role models, their friends are just as off track as they are...I just don't know what your solution is. You can't force people to be responsible. There is this idea from conservative minded people that birth control is wrong (not saying you are against birth control), abortion is wrong...so yes, in that sense I do think some people want to force women to have babies...but when the baby is here and she can't take care of it they want to call her a government mooch when she needs help.

I had great parents who taught me morals and responsibilty. I've never needed government help in my life and I'm thankful for that. I went to college, got on birth control when the time came etc. But not everyone has the advantages I did. What about those kids who are born to single moms with deadbeat dads and their family has been on welfare for generations? They aren't taught birth control or responsibility...they have babies, that's what they do. Look, I'm not saying what they do is right, but I feel like you and the OP look down their noses at those kind of people as inferior bums who mooch off of you, the hard working tax payer. Life is a pile of crap for some people. They have zero advantages and it's not that easy to pull yourself out of crap.
The example you used is someone who is a mooch. They are inferior bums if getting welfare is a generational thing. It is not my responsibility to support them or to teach them right from wrong. That is their family's responsibility.
 
Old 10-31-2012, 08:19 PM
 
657 posts, read 715,294 times
Reputation: 437
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
I am aiming this at women though I suppose this happens to men too. However so many women I know repeat this pattern: they go out with a guy and then they sleep with him. They wait for his call only to find out he was just using her as a booty call. Now I know people who slept together on a first date and got married but am not talking about them. The fact is some people are only interested in sex and not relationships but they lie.

I was thinking of this as I read another thread and it reminded me of a movie I saw long ago. This woman slept with this man and got pregnant. When she had the baby he had married another woman and had nothing to do with her kid. This guy later had kids with his wife while he ignored his child by the other woman.

The fact is I have been used by men with regards to sex and it still angers me that I didn't realize it. It stinks when you see the man you think you are dating marrying someone else. So as a result I have vowed to be celibate until marriage or at least engagement.
good for you. sorry you had to learn the lesson like that. respecting the body is something women should learn . we need to love our self first jesus.
 
Old 10-31-2012, 08:25 PM
 
1,084 posts, read 1,842,736 times
Reputation: 824
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223 View Post
Actually, deferring bed hopping is pretty good advice. Not for any particularly moral reason but from a practical reason. Sex creates an emotional bond, no matter what. Only a total sociopath can walk out of a bedroom after a one-night stand and not look back. What's more, despite all precautions, it's quite possible that you could be saddled with a child or a lifetime STD because you were indiscriminate in your bed partners.

At the same time, waiting until you're engaged or married is just plain dumb. Sexual compatibility is really important in any relationship.
I disagree. I've only been with one partner. But I have enough friends who've had one night stands and FWB to know that what you are saying isn't completely true. I've had friends who've had one night stands and walked away just "fine". They didn't feel any emotional connection to the guy, and later on talked about the experience and laughed it off and moved on with no issues. They weren't sociopaths at all. It was just sex, and it was one time. I also have friends that have had FWBS. The only cases where it became "emotional" was with the FWB was for an extended period of time(as in more than a few months). I always noticed that in the beginning of their FWB they didn't have any relationship/romantic feelings toward "said" guy, however usually by the 4-6 month period all of the sudden they start feeling "something" and if continues longer than that period of time, that is when feelings usually were hurt. And none of these women were sociopaths or women that were not capable of having romantic relationships, in fact many of them DID. And in many cases these "long term" romantic relationships started after they slept with someone "early".

But I do agree with you, that bed-hopping as a general practice and without fully knowing the person you are sleeping with is not a good idea, health wise, or "esteem" wise.
 
Old 10-31-2012, 09:30 PM
 
Location: Montgomery County, MD
3,236 posts, read 3,929,524 times
Reputation: 3010
This thread is stupid, having sex on the first date can lead to a relationship. I had sex with a girl on the first date then we went out for 3 years. Women think the guys are just out for sex to protect their feelings, its more that the guy didn't like YOU enough to make you his gf. If a guy really likes a girl, he'll want to go out with her even if they do it on the 1st date.
 
Old 10-31-2012, 10:04 PM
 
657 posts, read 715,294 times
Reputation: 437
if she gives it up too easy you a fool if you make her your gf. she problably does that every week. and that just plain disgusting- you could be sucking another man salvia or worst his sperm.

but i love easy women it gives me enough time to get home to my wife and kids

you gotta love those easy women. lol
 
Old 10-31-2012, 10:21 PM
 
Location: Mille Fin
408 posts, read 606,253 times
Reputation: 472
Note to the ladies: men want to have sex with you on the first date, but they also want you to not want to.

When you finally do have sex with them, it musn't co-incide with a bunch of other new 'couple' policies or habits.

For example, you can't have first-time sex and then book a date at Ikea, then ask your man to skip his weekly buddy night. A sudden change suggests to the man you think you can control him with sex.
(a ridiculous principle that actually makes women look extremely brittle)
 
Old 11-01-2012, 12:02 PM
 
36,226 posts, read 30,664,456 times
Reputation: 32503
Quote:
Originally Posted by LEFTIMAGE View Post
Note to the ladies: men want to have sex with you on the first date, but they also want you to not want to.

When you finally do have sex with them, it musn't co-incide with a bunch of other new 'couple' policies or habits.

For example, you can't have first-time sex and then book a date at Ikea, then ask your man to skip his weekly buddy night. A sudden change suggests to the man you think you can control him with sex.
(a ridiculous principle that actually makes women look extremely brittle)
Ridiculous. It happens ALL the time.
Thats why men have coined words like hen pecked, p whipped, etc.
 
Old 11-01-2012, 04:00 PM
 
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,126 posts, read 10,088,952 times
Reputation: 11796
Quote:
Originally Posted by Idon'tdateyou View Post
The example you used is someone who is a mooch. They are inferior bums if getting welfare is a generational thing. It is not my responsibility to support them or to teach them right from wrong. That is their family's responsibility.
What if they don't have a family to teach them right and wrong? How are they supposed to know? AGAIN - I ask you this. How can you call yourself religious when you think groups of people are inferior to yourself? Jesus was friends with lepers and prostititues. He didn't consider himself superior to anyone else. How can you as a religious person justify such an attitude? I know from your other posts you have parents that care about you. How can you not feel compassion for someone who doesn't grow up with loving parents?
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