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I guess from your post, I can understand why you would want to leave your husband but WHY would you want to run to another man that you say is no good for you? If you want to leave your husband for another man, at least make sure he's not already in a relationship and will dump all over you. I'm sure he sees you as someone he can dump all over because you're allowing it.
He's in a relationship, so you'd be sloppy seconds to him and eventually, he'd leave you for someone else.
Advice is, wake up and smell the coffee before you *********rself up.
...but always knew that he was no good for me, after not having contact for 8 yrs he has come into my life again and is in a relationship be it an unhappy one and I still am so in love with him... he still is no good for me but I can't help having these feelings.
Please, for your sake and your child's sake, pay attention to your own words.
Do you think you could be allowing your mind to link the basic human needs of love and security to this other guy? Try to realize that, in actuality, these are things that you must first give to yourself. Only then can you also find them WITH, not FROM, someone else.
You will find accepting this reality to be incredibly liberating!
I guess from your post, I can understand why you would want to leave your husband but WHY would you want to run to another man that you say is no good for you? If you want to leave your husband for another man, at least make sure he's not already in a relationship and will dump all over you. I'm sure he sees you as someone he can dump all over because you're allowing it.
He's in a relationship, so you'd be sloppy seconds to him and eventually, he'd leave you for someone else.
Advice is, wake up and smell the coffee before you *********rself up.
I answer that, b/c this other guy is her future, her co-depency....a new start, which for some reason, she fears making on her own, which will take her from the smoke, right into the fire.
Because he is showing her attention...and she wants so much to believe that someone is attracted to her...and wants to take care of her.....
Because she is not happy...regardless of what any of us think, she wants what she wants, and I don't think she cares about anything else, that is real right now....
Because she "thinks" she has to be in a relationship to be successful
And she has probably made up her mind, but being insecure, she posted this question, I think, in hopes to gain approval for what she is about to do.
I refuse to say, it's ok...it's not...and she's only thinking about herself...not her children.
You cannot jump from one relationship into another, it is not mentally sound.
She is going to hurt a lot of people....and doesn't want to realize, the consequences of her actions....she is reacting and not thinking.
I agree with you Creme.
I've been in a situation like this before when I was a lot younger and I tend to rant and rave about posts like these because I don't want anyone making these mistakes and to think about what they are getting themselves into.
I agree with you Creme.
I've been in a situation like this before when I was a lot younger and I tend to rant and rave about posts like these because I don't want anyone making these mistakes and to think about what they are getting themselves into.
Big YES and hugs for your comment....
so now we know, right....but all we can do is warn them...they are still gonna do, what they gotta do, and in the end, will probably loose more then we did? Or maybe, they will listen...hopefully and be saved from the heartache and pain, that they will cause others, and in turn, will cause themselves....
I got married when I was 18 my husband 19. We have 3 children together. My husband was not romantic nor did he show affection. Our intimate life was not very satisfying either. We seperated and divorced about 4 years ago. We got back together after 6 months and remarried. It lasted 4 months. Nothing had changed. I have always had a low self-esteem. I needed him to show me that I was needed and loved. In my mind it was all him. 2months after the remarriage I met someone who I thought was the love of my life. I did what no person should do. I betrayed my husband. He found out. I went through the darkest 2 weeks of my life after that.The devistation I caused was unthinkable. I hated myself because, "I am not a cheater". Ieven thought about suicide because I couln't handle knowing the hurt I caused him.It has been a year and a half and there is not a day goes by that I do not think about my ex-husband. He was my best friend and the love of my live. I just did not see it at the time. I looked at all the things that were wrong but nothing that was right. We are divorced now and are civil. He has a new fiance. I will always love him. I don't think I will ever re-marry because I can't see myself married to anyone but him. Myadvice is, Get help.Find out why you need someone else. Why your husband is not enough. hat you think is love is not trust me. I lived it. Focus on the good things about your husband and remember there are others who are affected by your decisions. I threw away 20 years of true love for a moment of puppy love.
Hi all, I just am so messed up right now and can't tell anyone.... I have been married 12yrs ( unhappy for 9)have 1 child and am a stay at home Mom. I have always been inlove with another man but always knew that he was no good for me, after not having contact for 8 yrs he has come into my life again and is in a relationship be it an unhappy one and I still am so in love with him, I have not even so much as kissed him but I want to be with him more than ever, he still is no good for me but I can't help having these feelings. I know many would say just leave my husband and forget about this other man but it is not that cut & dry, I have not worked in 10 years have no place to go and would not be able to support my child and myself, my husband is cheaper than cheap and would do everything he could to mess me over, that is why I have stayed. What am I going to do???? I am not the type of person to cheat but it's getting hard my husband has not touched me in 3 yrs only wants hand work if you know what I mean.
Well it sounds like neither of you are in love with each other and IMO I say leave, you can find a shelter or maybe someone to take you in, get a job and some counseling. it's probably best for both of you.
You say you're a stay at home Mom and obviously you have a computer so how about looking into some educational/training opportunities which you can do online at home? If this is something you can't discuss with your husband and/or he refuses to help financially, set a little money aside from your housekeeping allowance every day/week. It'll add up quickly and at least it'll gain you a little independence. And if your husband won't consider joint counselling, research your local agencies for free support groups and go by yourself. Good luck.
I know exactly how you feel. I myself have and still am in the exact situation. Some of the posters make a good point by saying leave your hubby first. I know how hard and scary it is thinking about leaving . Been there done that Still here. I would have to throw myself and my children on welfare in order to get out , I choose to stay. Has my marriage always been monagoumous? Hell NO! But you know what? When I thought I found what I was looking for it turned out they werent anywhere near that person. I guess I understand what it feels like not to love your husband but feeling trapped because you have no where else to turn. Just try to take it one day at a time and always look for the sunshine.
You need to grow up and take some responsibility for your life and your child's life. Unless your husband is abusing you, tell him you've decided to get a job and then get one. After you've put some money in the bank, decide whether you want to stay married or not and then act accordingly.
If your husband is abusing you, seek help at your local women's shelter.
Whatever you do, don't drag your child off with you into a relationship with a man you know isn't good for you and don't abandon him/her either.
Life is too short to stay miserable, but you've got a child to think about and he/she should be your top priority.
I was married for 3yrs. My husband cheated. I stayed long enough to save money to get my own apt.
As far as the other guy. He's a loser and you know it. It's nothing, but the "bad boy" syndrome. Nothing more and nothing less.
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