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Old 11-12-2012, 01:33 PM
 
11 posts, read 22,159 times
Reputation: 15

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Thank you, JerZ. Very much appreciate you returning to this thread on my behalf. My son has his ups and downs on a daily basis, and the whole experience is still very raw, but I see glimmers that he is beginning to adapt to the "new normal."

So glad to hear your son is doing well. It truly helps to hear how others have traveled a similar path and survived, even thrived.

Many thanks again for your concern. :-)
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Old 11-12-2012, 01:38 PM
 
30,902 posts, read 32,998,960 times
Reputation: 26919
Quote:
Originally Posted by ZoeK View Post
Thank you, JerZ. Very much appreciate you returning to this thread on my behalf. My son has his ups and downs on a daily basis, and the whole experience is still very raw, but I see glimmers that he is beginning to adapt to the "new normal."

So glad to hear your son is doing well. It truly helps to hear how others have traveled a similar path and survived, even thrived.

Many thanks again for your concern. :-)
A little birdie told me the thread has been resurrected! There are a few really decent peeps on this forum, you'll find. Hugs, you guys.
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Old 01-02-2014, 09:44 PM
 
1 posts, read 791 times
Reputation: 10
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Old 01-02-2014, 10:53 PM
 
Location: If I tell you, will you visit?
887 posts, read 1,100,019 times
Reputation: 981
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
Well, it happened. My oldest son (age 21) just broke up with his first love.

I told him lots of things...like, take it one minute at a time and pretty much write off the next two weeks and just baby yourself...and it will start getting better after that. I told him that what he had was good, he mustn't discount that now out of bitterness, but that he should also realize that she didn't "make" his life great. He was half of that...he was half of what made *their* life great. That that's still inside him, so he hasn't "lost everything," because he was always half of it to begin with.


I am so sad for both of them.
We all go through losing our first love, and it's tough, but You are a very good Mom!!!
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Old 01-02-2014, 11:02 PM
 
13,721 posts, read 19,256,669 times
Reputation: 16971
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawkeye48 View Post
Many of you ladies aren't going to like this, and I sincerely don't mean to offend any of you.

But I'd say the very last thing he needs is to be around his mother. It will only make things worse. Ten or twenty times worse. Women deal with these issues differently than most men do. Most men need to be as far away from anyone that wants them to share their feeling as possible. And I realize that's difficult for women to understand. We men are just wired differently. Moms hanging around nursing their sons back to mental health after a romantic breakup may do so out of love, but they only prolong the misery.

What he needs is his friends. Male friends. He needs his buddies to kick him in the pants and get him out of the house. And he needs to get out and do the things single guys do with their buddies. He needs to do some male bonding time. He needs to go bowling or to a football game. He needs to go out drinking with his buddies.

Ladies how many times have you broken up with a guy and afterwards gotten together with your female friends and spoke for hours about how evil men are, and how all they want is one thing? When a female breaks up with her man you ladies all get together and form sort of a support group for her. I'm sure you ladies would agree a young woman going through a similar breakup would not need her father hanging around, so why would a guy need his mom hanging around? Moms hanging around trying to nurse their sons back to health is the very last thing that should be done.

You ladies all have the very best of intentions and we men love you to death. But the last thing a young man needs is to have his mom hanging around after a breakup.
Yeah, I agree. My son and his girlfriend of 4 years just broke up and he DOES NOT want to talk to me about it. In front of me he acts like everything's okay, but what I hear from other people that he does talk to he is taking the breakup really hard. He's been ignoring my calls and texts. I can accept that he doesn't want to talk to mommy about it and there is nothing I can do to help him. When he was 4 I could make it all better and I can't do that now.
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Old 01-03-2014, 01:54 PM
 
2,206 posts, read 4,747,614 times
Reputation: 2104
Get him a copy of the "Rational Male" by Tomassi.

He should focus on improving himself, focus on the things he likes to do, and being realistic about women.
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Old 01-03-2014, 01:58 PM
 
Location: USA
31,039 posts, read 22,070,533 times
Reputation: 19081
This thread is from 2007
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