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I can say the exact same thing about men. too many lies.
Yep I agree and it's sad what a good percentage of society has turned into = not good as morals, values and ethics have gone out and down the sewer drains. The real important aspects have been traded for superficial aspects as far as relationships and most anything else.
if you didn't understand what was going on you wouldn't have made a post about it.
I like your posts but I have to be real with you here, you're 42 well past your prime years (no matter how well you take care of yourself). With all of the craziness that's been going on in our region this past week, why should you be surprised if someone wants a ons? Its brick out here and lots of people still don't have power.
your ego got a little glow, don't act coy like you don't know the deal.
be thankful.
Ridiculous post. Mod cut: gross generalization; gender bashing. I would be thankful if they were trying to date me; wanting to F me isn't anything to be thankful for, becausegross generalization.
My ego got nothing from this, because last Monday I broke up with someone because he doesn't want to be serious with me. He loves the sex and companionship but would not integrate me into his life any more fully. I dumped him thinking I can do better, and within one week, three times I have been told that I can't. This is a boost to my ego? Please.
There are several things going on here; a lot of guys--especially younger ones, see women over 40 as what has been coined as an unfortunate term "MILFs" and "cougars" and think that's all an older woman is looking for, he was very attractive and I'm guessing sex probably comes easy to him--he really doesn't want to work for it, dating dynamics have changed in the 21st century--we live in a world of instant gratification, a lot of people don't have the time or inclination to develop an actual friendship/relationship...communication has been dumbed down to short twitter comments about themselves, even emails are considered as ancient as a hand written note in a bottle to many people under 40, living in a major metroplis like New York I think there tends to be a "law of averages" mindset among a lot of single men--shotgun a bunch of propositions out there and the more you shoot the greater your odds you may hit something.
a lot of people don't have the time or inclination to develop an actual friendship/relationship...
True. That is what I chalk this up to. Even if they really want to, people are often at a loss on how to develop an emotional connection with someone. They don't know how to. Combine that with busy schedules, and normal human lust, and you have a bunch of people who appear emotionally retarded walking around.
There are several things going on here; a lot of guys--especially younger ones, see women over 40 as what has been coined as an unfortunate term "MILFs" and "cougars" and think that's all an older woman is looking for, he was very attractive and I'm guessing sex probably comes easy to him--he really doesn't want to work for it, dating dynamics have changed in the 21st century--we live in a world of instant gratification, a lot of people don't have the time or inclination to develop an actual friendship/relationship...communication has been dumbed down to short twitter comments about themselves, even emails are considered as ancient as a hand written note in a bottle to many people under 40, living in a major metroplis like New York I think there tends to be a "law of averages" mindset among a lot of single men--shotgun a bunch of propositions out there and the more you shoot the greater your odds you may hit something.
Actually, all three men were age appropriate. None were younger than me. The one in my example is 50. I doubt that sex comes that easily for him because from what I learned in our conversation, he is trying to date way outside of his league. I am pretty sure that he considers me a notch below what he deserves, which is probably why he was comfortable in being so bold. And yet I should be flattered...
You say that one of them mentioned seeing you on a dating site.
Were all of them somehow related to a dating site? Were the other two guys on Match or something?
Regardless, for that first one at least, I think there are people out there who associate dating sites with hook-up culture, especially in our age group. Not sure about your upbringing, but starting in junior high, in Catholic school, the girls were admonished about letting their availability be known. The nuns used to say, literally, "Don't advertise." The idea was that "advertising" was associated with being cheap or easy. It's what hookers did in the back of seedy magazines.
I think the whole "catalog" nature of online dating plays into that. People scan the profiles, pick out what they like, and set about obtaining it. I think this is especially true for men, because--and I'm sure most women who have had dating profiles have been through this--if I had a dime for every man who very clearly did NOT bother to actually READ what I said back when I had a profile, so that it was apparent he was just looking at pictures, I could take everyone in this thread so far out to lunch. It got to the point where I dreaded logging in because I was thinking, "Oh, god, how many cavemen are going to point and grunt at me today?" (Which was when I stopped online dating.)
This is all my way of saying that at least with the first guy, it's him, not you. He specifically mentioned the dating site. Seems to me he's one of the catalog shoppers.
Actually, all three men were age appropriate. None were younger than me. The one in my example is 50. I doubt that sex comes that easily for him because from what I learned in our conversation, he is trying to date way outside of his league. I am pretty sure that he considers me a notch below what he deserves, which is probably why he was comfortable in being so bold. And yet I should be flattered...
You know what? Online dating is a big farce. It makes both men and women a little crazy because of all the options and distance.
On another note: I saw a commercial on TV the other day for match.com saying that they will be hosting singles events soon.
You say that one of them mentioned seeing you on a dating site.
Were all of them somehow related to a dating site? Were the other two guys on Match or something?
Regardless, for that first one at least, I think there are people out there who associate dating sites with hook-up culture, especially in our age group. Not sure about your upbringing, but starting in junior high, in Catholic school, the girls were admonished about letting their availability be known. The nuns used to say, literally, "Don't advertise." The idea was that "advertising" was associated with being cheap or easy. It's what hookers did in the back of seedy magazines.
I think the whole "catalog" nature of online dating plays into that. People scan the profiles, pick out what they like, and set about obtaining it. I think this is especially true for men, because--and I'm sure most women who have had dating profiles have been through this--if I had a dime for every man who very clearly did NOT bother to actually READ what I said back when I had a profile, so that it was apparent he was just looking at pictures, I could take everyone in this thread so far out to lunch. It got to the point where I dreaded logging in because I was thinking, "Oh, god, how many cavemen are going to point and grunt at me today?" (Which was when I stopped online dating.)
This is all my way of saying that at least with the first guy, it's him, not you. He specifically mentioned the dating site. Seems to me he's one of the catalog shoppers.
None of them are from dating sites. I put up a profile yesterday morning for the first time in about six months. He happened to have seen it yesterday by coincidence, and mentioned it in order to say that he didn't know I am available.
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth
You know what? Online dating is a big farce. It makes both men and women a little crazy because of all the options and distance.
On another note: I saw a commercial on TV the other day for match.com saying that they will be hosting singles events soon.
This thread really doesn't have anything to do with online dating. I didn't meet any of these people on dating sites, and I have not corresponded with them on dating sites.
None of them are from dating sites. I put up a profile yesterday morning for the first time in about six months. He happened to have seen it yesterday by coincidence, and mentioned it in order to say that he didn't know I am available.
This thread really doesn't have anything to do with online dating. I didn't meet any of these people on dating sites, and I have not corresponded with them on dating sites.
Okay. But I still have a hunch about the first guy, the one who mentioned seeing you there.
Something kind of like that happened to me. There was a fellow who used to live in the same complex I did back in the 90s. We'd run into each other at the pool, talk about the books we were reading, etc. After my divorce, when I moved back to the area where I lived as a single, I'd run into him on the subway once in a while. We'd say hi, chat, etc.
Then one day, "I saw you on Yahoo." And the nice, normal, chatty guy suddenly became the Lecher from Hell. He IMed me on Messenger and started yammering about "sensual boat rides" on his boat, etc. I ended up blocking him, and for months after that, I would stand at the other end of the platform in the morning just so I wouldn't run into him.
Something similar happened with someone I worked with, too. I knew he had taken a shine to me, but once he saw me on Match, then it became a round of "Try to Hook Up at the Holiday Party."
I'm sure there are people out there who use dating sites for dating--my ex met his second wife on one--but I think that for many men, once they see a female acquaintance on a dating site, they get less than honorable ideas.
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