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[FONT=Verdana]My white girlfriend of 7 months, whom I love and who told me that she loved me, went and slept with a black guy, after we broke up for a month. After that month, I contacted her to try and get back together, unknowing of what she did, when she told me, she is seeing a black guy and has slept with him already. When she told me, I broke down and cried and told her that I loved her and that she has hurt my feelings. To which she said: "we were not together, so she did nothing wrong...", but also told me, that after hearing me say that I loved her...."she wanted to come back to me too, and that I am the only man she loved...". Her attitude of doing nothing wrong is technically correct, because at that time we were technically not together. However, I am finding it very hard to understand that she could just sleep with another man, so quickly and freely. I am having issues at two levels: (1) that she is seeing someone so quickly after we broke up and has slept with him, and (2) that it was a Black guy. I know this is a racist thought, and after analyzing my thoughts, I find that I may be a racist after all, but I am finding it impossible to change how I am feeling towards the situation and towards her. I am still drawn to her emotionally and I still love her and wish I could find a way to resolve this problem, but, I now find that I do not want to touch her nor want to kiss her nor be in physical contact with her. It is almost like I have lost the physical desire for her but the emotional desire remains. I don’t know what to do? Please help. I love her, and don’t wish to let her go, but I also am finding very difficult to keep hold of her from my own side, even though she said she would like to get back with me now. Every time I see her face now, I see the black guy having sex with her. I can’t get this out of my head….What can I do? I know I must be racist, but Please help.[/FONT]
My white girlfriend of 7 months, whom I love and who told me that she loved me, went and slept with a black guy, after we broke up for a month. After that month, I contacted her to try and get back together, unknowing of what she did, when she told me, she is seeing a black guy and has slept with him already. When she told me, I broke down and cried and told her that I loved her and that she has hurt my feelings. To which she said: "we were not together, so she did nothing wrong...", but also told me, that after hearing me say that I loved her...."she wanted to come back to me too, and that I am the only man she loved...". Her attitude of doing nothing wrong is technically correct, because at that time we were technically not together. However, I am finding it very hard to understand that she could just sleep with another man, so quickly and freely. I am having issues at two levels: (1) that she is seeing someone so quickly after we broke up and has slept with him, and (2) that it was a Black guy. I know this is a racist thought, and after analyzing my thoughts, I find that I may be a racist after all, but I am finding it impossible to change how I am feeling towards the situation and towards her. I am still drawn to her emotionally and I still love her and wish I could find a way to resolve this problem, but, I now find that I do not want to touch her nor want to kiss her nor be in physical contact with her. It is almost like I have lost the physical desire for her but the emotional desire remains. I don’t know what to do? Please help. I love her, and don’t wish to let her go, but I also am finding very difficult to keep hold of her from my own side, even though she said she would like to get back with me now. Every time I see her face now, I see the black guy having sex with her. I can’t get this out of my head….What can I do? I know I must be racist, but Please help.
Black, white, red, brown, or yellow it matters not. She has broken the bond of trust. It's over.........
Sorry to hear of the difficulty, But ultimately I think it would have been difficult for you regardless of the other man's race. The fact is you were broken up, So she actually did nothing wrong. Some people move on quicker, deal with things different.
Unless you can see past this, And both understand why you split up the relationship has little chance.
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