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View Poll Results: Girlfriend slept with Black guy, now I can't get over it... what should I do?
Break up with her (in future if something happens again) 0 0%
Break up with her (immediately) 10 83.33%
Accept her back (and forget the indiscretion) 1 8.33%
Accept her back (but take it very slowly) 1 8.33%
Voters: 12. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 11-06-2012, 05:13 PM
 
1 posts, read 58,337 times
Reputation: 31

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[FONT=Verdana]My white girlfriend of 7 months, whom I love and who told me that she loved me, went and slept with a black guy, after we broke up for a month. After that month, I contacted her to try and get back together, unknowing of what she did, when she told me, she is seeing a black guy and has slept with him already. When she told me, I broke down and cried and told her that I loved her and that she has hurt my feelings. To which she said: "we were not together, so she did nothing wrong...", but also told me, that after hearing me say that I loved her...."she wanted to come back to me too, and that I am the only man she loved...". Her attitude of doing nothing wrong is technically correct, because at that time we were technically not together. However, I am finding it very hard to understand that she could just sleep with another man, so quickly and freely. I am having issues at two levels: (1) that she is seeing someone so quickly after we broke up and has slept with him, and (2) that it was a Black guy. I know this is a racist thought, and after analyzing my thoughts, I find that I may be a racist after all, but I am finding it impossible to change how I am feeling towards the situation and towards her. I am still drawn to her emotionally and I still love her and wish I could find a way to resolve this problem, but, I now find that I do not want to touch her nor want to kiss her nor be in physical contact with her. It is almost like I have lost the physical desire for her but the emotional desire remains. I don’t know what to do? Please help. I love her, and don’t wish to let her go, but I also am finding very difficult to keep hold of her from my own side, even though she said she would like to get back with me now. Every time I see her face now, I see the black guy having sex with her. I can’t get this out of my head….What can I do? I know I must be racist, but Please help.[/FONT]
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Old 11-06-2012, 05:19 PM
 
3,963 posts, read 5,181,143 times
Reputation: 3676
LOL you have to be screwing around.
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Old 11-06-2012, 05:25 PM
 
14 posts, read 69,041 times
Reputation: 22
If you can't remove those thoughts from her head, leave her, she did nothing wrong.
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Old 11-06-2012, 05:25 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
10,834 posts, read 22,461,590 times
Reputation: 15602
Oh well. You'd probably be just as hurt if she slept with any guy. The fact he was black just magnifies your feelings. Doesn't change a thing.
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Old 11-06-2012, 05:29 PM
 
Location: Planet Eaarth
8,954 posts, read 19,356,935 times
Reputation: 7193
Quote:
Originally Posted by zzznnn View Post
My white girlfriend of 7 months, whom I love and who told me that she loved me, went and slept with a black guy, after we broke up for a month. After that month, I contacted her to try and get back together, unknowing of what she did, when she told me, she is seeing a black guy and has slept with him already. When she told me, I broke down and cried and told her that I loved her and that she has hurt my feelings. To which she said: "we were not together, so she did nothing wrong...", but also told me, that after hearing me say that I loved her...."she wanted to come back to me too, and that I am the only man she loved...". Her attitude of doing nothing wrong is technically correct, because at that time we were technically not together. However, I am finding it very hard to understand that she could just sleep with another man, so quickly and freely. I am having issues at two levels: (1) that she is seeing someone so quickly after we broke up and has slept with him, and (2) that it was a Black guy. I know this is a racist thought, and after analyzing my thoughts, I find that I may be a racist after all, but I am finding it impossible to change how I am feeling towards the situation and towards her. I am still drawn to her emotionally and I still love her and wish I could find a way to resolve this problem, but, I now find that I do not want to touch her nor want to kiss her nor be in physical contact with her. It is almost like I have lost the physical desire for her but the emotional desire remains. I don’t know what to do? Please help. I love her, and don’t wish to let her go, but I also am finding very difficult to keep hold of her from my own side, even though she said she would like to get back with me now. Every time I see her face now, I see the black guy having sex with her. I can’t get this out of my head….What can I do? I know I must be racist, but Please help.
Black, white, red, brown, or yellow it matters not. She has broken the bond of trust. It's over.........
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Old 11-06-2012, 05:32 PM
 
Location: Sometimes Miami sometimes Australia
1,093 posts, read 2,494,577 times
Reputation: 1070
But she wasn't technically with you when she did it..surely that counts for something
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Old 11-06-2012, 05:35 PM
 
Location: Albuquerque, NM
13,291 posts, read 13,991,636 times
Reputation: 6649
Quote:
Originally Posted by tropical87 View Post
But she wasn't technically with you when she did it..surely that counts for something

Friends - We were on a break - Fine by me - I knew it - YouTube
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Old 11-06-2012, 05:37 PM
 
Location: Charlotte, NC
25,824 posts, read 37,937,744 times
Reputation: 37776
I feel...


AM Radio - Taken For a Ride - YouTube
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Old 11-06-2012, 05:44 PM
 
Location: Sometimes Miami sometimes Australia
1,093 posts, read 2,494,577 times
Reputation: 1070

Sounds like the OP's girlfriendwas taken for a ride
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Old 11-06-2012, 05:57 PM
 
Location: New Jersey
12,087 posts, read 15,507,040 times
Reputation: 18913
Sorry to hear of the difficulty, But ultimately I think it would have been difficult for you regardless of the other man's race. The fact is you were broken up, So she actually did nothing wrong. Some people move on quicker, deal with things different.

Unless you can see past this, And both understand why you split up the relationship has little chance.
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