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So if you go on a few dates with a person, and it's going well, probably you've kissed already, thinking about getting more physical... do you usually ask the person what they're looking for? I'm curious because I've run into a number of guys who are just into casual dating. They're not thinking about moving on to a committed relationship, but they do want to meet up, go out, sleep together. Of course they don't usually say this in the beginning. It hurts to get involved with someone like this only to find out that they have no interest in a serious relationship.
But then again, some people are put off by being asked early on, as if they're being rushed or forced to commit immediately. I asked a guy this recently and he was like "baaa? ba whaaa? oooh... ahhhhmmm..." Glad I asked though because I was just starting to get attached when he admitted he was only looking for flings. But then I wonder if my asking is what turned him off.
How do y'all play it?
Oh yeah, I'm not really asking advice about this particular guy. Just a more general question as the title indicates.
I don't know, honestly. I'm usually the one who gets asked by the guy I'm dating. It doesn't turn me off, but it is hard to give an answer sometimes when you're put on the spot.
Maybe some guys don't like it because they think women are looking for an instant husband?
I think everyone would love to find someone that completely fulfills their needs and desires, but I don't think it should be forced. If the spark is there from the beginning, that's great. Just go with it and not worry where things are heading. If its meant to be, it's going to happen regardless of any reservations either particular party may have going into it.
Things have a way of falling into place on their own. Enjoying the ride is just as important as the final destination.
I think everyone would love to find someone that completely fulfills their needs and desires, but I don't think it should be forced. If the spark is there from the beginning, that's great. Just go with it and not worry where things are heading. If its meant to be, it's going to happen regardless of any reservations either particular party may have going into it.
Things have a way of falling into place on their own. Enjoying the ride is just as important as the final destination.
I think the point is that she doesn't want to waste time with someone who's just in it for the nookie.
It may not be meant to be but some people will still take advantage of another's feelings for them to get what they want.
I think the point is that she doesn't want to waste time with someone who's just in it for the nookie.
It may not be meant to be but some people will still take advantage of another's feelings for them to get what they want.
Well two things can happen. The sex can be so amazing that the guy all of a sudden feels the desire to commit long term. That, or the OP can choose to not have sex with a particular guy until she knows he's interested in her for more than just a nice warm wet place to stick his pecker into (the guys looking to hit and quit aren't going to work at it too terribly hard before moving onto someone else).
It's practically ingrained in male biology to want to be free - free to sleep with other women, free to hang with the boys and watch football, but also free to make the non-pressured decision to settle in a relationship with you.
I think your best bet is to use your own judgment when meeting guys and I never thought I would advise this, but to hold off on sex if you're unsure.
I think he could be saying that because of the vibe you may give. It might've been a complete 180 for him. I'm sure his ego was stroked a little, but that doesn't mean he can't be weirded out by the idea that he might be in something serious when he thought he wasn't. I remember my point at that with my fiance. She went from talking about my favorite band (Brand New), to asking if we were going to be exclusive or not. That's usually a hard decision for a guy, but after a lunch break I was aware that I didn't want to be with anyone else at the moment.
It's practically ingrained in male biology to want to be free - free to sleep with other women, free to hang with the boys and watch football, but also free to make the non-pressured decision to settle in a relationship with you.
I think your best bet is to use your own judgment when meeting guys and I never thought I would advise this, but to hold off on sex if you're unsure.
I don't know how old you are, but I could give horrible stories of things that "haddd happpend" with my friends. I don't wish this on any girl and I am sorry.
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