This may have ruined my marriage (how to, men, loving, cheater)
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wow i 4got to mention this.. i told him that he talks to me with no respect at all and some1 with enough sesnse wouldve left him already an dhe says good luck finding sum1 because since i have kids.. im used goods that men, especially real men never date or marry a woman who has kids already. that no real man raises sum1 elses kids .. how ridiculous?
then when hes in a nice mood hes like i only say mean things to u because u get me mad. ugh
Yep. HIS BEHAVIOR is your fault according to him. Total loser.
If you are staying with him, you need marriage counseling. If only so that you learn strategies to prevent your children from acquiring their father's flaws. I'd give it maybe a year tops for him to straighten out, and then it's time to leave for the sake of the kids and your own sake.
justjulia, no i dont think he will magically transform into prince charming.. its just that he has moody and when hes nice, hes really nice, but when hes in a bad mood hes like terrible. and im at a point where i dont know if the good outweighs the bad or vice versa. i guess i just wanted some neutral opinions.. it doesnt look like i can tolerate his bahavior anymore. i do not like teh way he talks to me so i think we are going to be divorced sooner than later.
Why? The Marines aren't there to make you a better person - it's a military organization and it needs soldiers. Much of what they teach is very valuable, but if you don't learn to use it in context, it's worthless when you're operating in the civilian world or personal relationships.
1---The MARINES are not soldiers!!! They are MARINES!! Hoo ah?
2--If this Marine is planning on staying in then rest assured he will NOT go to counseling. Any sign of weakness or lack of control will mean no promotions or leadership duties. No matter what the recruiters say!
1---The MARINES are not soldiers!!! They are MARINES!! Hoo ah?
2--If this Marine is planning on staying in then rest assured he will NOT go to counseling. Any sign of weakness or lack of control will mean no promotions or leadership duties. No matter what the recruiters say!
A double winner ... a special snowflake who won't seek help for his problems.
thanx every1, im starting to think that my family and friends were rite. that he his emotionally and verbally abusive.
he will say things like oh your fat and im not. i know im not. i wear a 3/4 jean and dress size but of course these girls in porn are SUPERSKINNY prob like a 00 jean size, so yeah i guess im fat to him and he says things like nobody likes me and stuff and that im stupid.
i dont think i am and as a matter of fact, we ran into his friend and his friends wife last week, a girl i never met and we were talking and laughing and she said, we def need to hang out sometime, u are so fun! so later on that day, im like yeah nobody likes me rite? and hes like shes just some dumb girl who cares
i think hes totally trying to break me down so that he can build me up into someone he wants me to be. a doormat but its not gonna happen.
Young men are hormones between 15 and 25 years old. So much of their thinking, actions, desires are directed by the wrong brain. In the heat of a hormone surge, they decide they need to marry and to have a family. Then they see the females around and realize they cannot have that. They haven't learned to respect women, to know what "real manhood" is (standing by your woman, by your kids, through thick and thin, respecting your partner). Think Prince Harry who doesn't seem to be maturing any. I can perfectly imagine him saying insensitive things like "I may need to preserve myself to give children to another woman", "you are used goods since you had been through a pregnancy" and other trash.
On the other hand, why has a young woman of absolutely the same age to be understanding of all that the young husband is going through, why is it her who has to be mature and forgiving, and find explanations for his behavior, and let the young guy enjoy his prolonged teenagehood?
justjulia, no i dont think he will magically transform into prince charming.. its just that he has moody and when hes nice, hes really nice, but when hes in a bad mood hes like terrible. and im at a point where i dont know if the good outweighs the bad or vice versa. i guess i just wanted some neutral opinions.. it doesnt look like i can tolerate his bahavior anymore. i do not like teh way he talks to me so i think we are going to be divorced sooner than later.
yes nuala, jerk with a capital T!! lol
IMO, he is married to you, but is not interested in being your partner in marriage. You haev caught him lying about things. A terrible trait. I can see hallmarks of him trying to manipulate you to his ways too. He isn't working through problems with you, but dismissing them. He is emotionally abusing you. He is being controlling.
Does he play the "victim" a lot? I am betting he does.
I know couples can have their disagreements. However, at the end of the day, and a majority of the time, each person should be sacraficial to each other's needs and desires. Willing and active in working towards resolutions to the issues within their marriage and lives (resolutions acceptable to both).
You have been married a while, and as such, I certainly respect your attempts and desires to work things through with him. If he is unwilling to work with you, and continues to draw a line in the sand and accept nothing other than your obedience, then I cannot imagine your going to want to continue to live with this.
Difficult situation, but the issues here are FAR deeper than one incident two years ago.
i think hes totally trying to break me down so that he can build me up into someone he wants me to be. a doormat but its not gonna happen.
Yes, just to reiterate my last post... he is using emotional abuse to be manipulative and controlling, to try and force you to be obedient to him.
Thats not a marriage. If he is unwilling to work with you to become a better husband to you, then you have one choice left.
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