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Whether or not this is acceptable is up to you but here is a STRONG word of caution: the man he is now is the man he will always be. If you were to get semi-serious with him, he will suggest that you move in together quickly. If you end up living together or married, he will always be an underachiever who lets other people work out the details when push comes to shove. His mom is in charge of the household now, and you will be next. It is very easy to tell yourself "hey money doesn't matter, we are all equals) and accept this now, but believe me when strife happens it will wear thin. It is such a terrible feeling to have a financial emergency happen, and to see your husband just shrug it off, crack open a beer and play a video game, leaving you to be the one to step and handle things alone. How do I know this? I married that guy, and now I am divorced. I resented him throughout his slothful way of dealing with life, and I resented him during our divorce and I resented him when I had to sell the house and pay him off. It took about 3 years after my divorce to understand that *I* was the fool. He never tricked me, he never pretended to have any ambition, he never hinted that he would step up after we got married. I just assumed that he would, and I was wrong one.
So only date him if you can accept his personality as permanent. Because at 30, it is permanent.
I've never had a problem with women looking for a financially stable/secure man. There is NOTHING wrong with that. A lot of women have to take time off work when they have kids and they have to know that their husband can support the family in that time period. Also, who the hell wants to be in a relationship with somebody who can't handle their finances and can't make enough money to live a comfortable lifestyle? That's not gold digging in the slightest bit. Gold digging is when a woman makes nothing and wants a man who makes 150K a year so she can sit around all day and spend his money
With that being said, bartenders can sometimes make 50-70K if they work hard at a busy bar so I wouldn't necessarily write him off as being poor...but he's never going to be the white collar type that you're looking for
I've never had a problem with women looking for a financially stable/secure man. There is NOTHING wrong with that. A lot of women have to take time off work when they have kids and they have to know that their husband can support the family in that time period. Also, who the hell wants to be in a relationship with somebody who can't handle their finances and can't make enough money to live a comfortable lifestyle? That's not gold digging in the slightest bit. Gold digging is when a woman makes nothing and wants a man who makes 150K a year so she can sit around all day and spend his money
With that being said, bartenders can sometimes make 50-70K if they work hard at a busy bar so I wouldn't necessarily write him off as being poor...but he's never going to be the white collar type that you're looking for
Exactly.
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