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Based on what I've read here, apparently I do. I think of myself as a 6 but since I wasn't flooded with messages when I tried online dating and I never get approached, I must be much less than that. Either that or I'm a 10 and all men think I'm out of their league.
What really matters is I was a 10 to my late husband, and hopefully, one day, I will be a 10 to someone else as well.
Me too...I get messages from guys and I've had a decent number of dates, but my inbox is hardly flooded...
I agree that what matters is being with someone who think you're attractive and who cares what anyone else thinks!
And then have the audacity to blame feminism for it. The common denominator is you. There is obviously something repugnant about someone who gets that kind of response from the opposite sex.
And then have the audacity to blame feminism for it. The common denominator is you. There is obviously something repugnant about someone who gets that kind of response from the opposite sex.
Indeed I do. Your constant whining and victim mentality and blaming women really makes me nauseated. I can see why you are not successful with women, it's because you hate them.
Yeah, the first demographic that comes to mind for me on this subject is all those tubby women who wear belly shirts, or baby tees. WTF? Gross. Never ceases to amaze me. I just can't figure if it's a case of blatant denial; rampant overrating of their looks; or maybe these women have any mirrors in their houses?
And then have the audacity to blame feminism for it. The common denominator is you. There is obviously something repugnant about someone who gets that kind of response from the opposite sex.
They blame feminism because in the past men who were lacking in looks could use their paychecks to lure women. Now with women making their own money these guys realize that yes many women judge on looks or something else they don't possess and they get angry.
Well. I don't know anything about your posts, but I haven't seen you complaining.
I mean, the truth is, if any woman in my life had ever done that to me, I'd be beyond thrilled. If I felt she was sincere, it could really change my self esteem to a significant degree for the long haul. I'm not joking...
I realize everything is in a frame of reference, but I don't see too many people who have had no problems attracting people complain about the opposite sex being too picky.
I try not to complain
But I have been at that stage where it seemed absolutely no woman wanted me. I also had a pillsbury doughboy face and was often told that I had the face of an ape. And yes I got the dreaded "U" word from quite a few women. It didn't matter that I was 6'0, I was still undesirable. And I've seen women going crazy over men who are 5'7" or so, because they were attractive.
I used to be such a complainer, too (offline). Even the most negative poster would have sounded like polyanna compared to me.
At some point I did lose a significant amount of weight, my face got smaller, and women suddenly seemed a little more receptive.
I'll tell you one thing, if you are used to being ugly, it is going to feel like the twilight zone if somehow you become "good looking." I personally wasn't prepared for such a change in behavior.
I did get to a point where I realized (for me) that a woman would have to constantly tell me that I am valuable where it counts for me if I am not satisfied with myself. Now I try to get to the point where I am satisfied with myself, as long as I'm not a douche bag. I work to get to the best of myself, so that I can value myself (and value others).
Another thing to consider is the area that you live in. For me, I find that big and ethnically diverse cities are the best for me.
I'm not done with my improvements. If I am diligent, I can really shine at the first of next year.
And the "average"-looking woman doesn't need to be grateful to you for approaching her rather than someone hotter. That almost seems like where the OP's rage is coming from. "She turned me down? She's not even hot!"
Absolutely... not only is she not that hot, but she was a b*tch about it. She wasn't even polite.
If a gorgeous woman turned me down, and she was nice about it, it would still hurt but i'd sort of expect it. That's just life. But yea, getting shot down by a mediocre-looking woman, and so rudely! Like she really wanted to crush me. Not fun. That's the kind of stuff that can make men have negative attitudes toward women.
Personally I've always had a very objective view of my own physical attractiveness, which I think has hurt me more than it has helped. A little bit of self-delusion isn't bad, it can be construed as self-confidence. So if you're average, but you think you're the bees knees, you actually become more attractive via projecting an aura of confidence. Whereas if you're average and know it, and project that feeling, you won't be very attractive. At least with men trying to attract women. I don't know about the other way around.
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Do people have an unrealistic view of their own attractiveness?
