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The "Mama's Boy" is a put-down based on the patriarchal rule that boys have to be groomed not to display feelings - there are cultural dictates that despite their relationship with mom, they must distance themselves from her and everything she stands for - and in that process, they lose some of their humanity. The rules also dictate "no crying," "no gentle or refined feelings or sensibilities" and a whole bunch of other crap. I have seen coaches "toughening up" six year olds and I see the conditioning. "Shake it off," etc. It is all like military training. It would be interesting to see what "free range" boys would be like if they weren't conditioned to be jerky, tough "men."
If you've ever watched the show Everybody Loves Raymond there is a bit of a mama's boy dynamic there. I think the character was written to be such that Raymond recognized his mom's behavior was troublesome, but if he had his own way, he'd never take a stand with her, rather, he'd allow the intrusive behavior to continue...but for the sake of his marriage, he isn't able to do so.
yea that's a good example. the MIL is hilarious on there. On the show he didn't really stand up to her, she always made him look stupid when he did. The large brother was the same way with the mother on the show.
The "Mama's Boy" is a put-down based on the patriarchal rule that boys have to be groomed not to display feelings - there are cultural dictates that despite their relationship with mom, they must distance themselves from her and everything she stands for - and in that process, they lose some of their humanity. The rules also dictate "no crying," "no gentle or refined feelings or sensibilities" and a whole bunch of other crap. I have seen coaches "toughening up" six year olds and I see the conditioning. "Shake it off," etc. It is all like military training. It would be interesting to see what "free range" boys would be like if they weren't conditioned to be jerky, tough "men."
There is more than one definition of the mama's boy. I myself am not talking about six year olds here.
The "Mama's Boy" is a put-down based on the patriarchal rule that boys have to be groomed not to display feelings - there are cultural dictates that despite their relationship with mom, they must distance themselves from her and everything she stands for - and in that process, they lose some of their humanity. The rules also dictate "no crying," "no gentle or refined feelings or sensibilities" and a whole bunch of other crap. I have seen coaches "toughening up" six year olds and I see the conditioning. "Shake it off," etc. It is all like military training. It would be interesting to see what "free range" boys would be like if they weren't conditioned to be jerky, tough "men."
I don't think that's what we're really discussing here, though. There's a difference between an emotionally sensitive man and a person who is incapable of doing basic housework because the mother has always done it for him.
But, as I said, I call men who can't do things like dishes, cooking, or laundry for themselves man-children. Sure, you're physically and nominally an adult, but the inability to do those things and to expect someone else to do them for you screams adolescent.
The "Mama's Boy" is a put-down based on the patriarchal rule that boys have to be groomed not to display feelings - there are cultural dictates that despite their relationship with mom, they must distance themselves from her and everything she stands for - and in that process, they lose some of their humanity. The rules also dictate "no crying," "no gentle or refined feelings or sensibilities" and a whole bunch of other crap. I have seen coaches "toughening up" six year olds and I see the conditioning. "Shake it off," etc. It is all like military training. It would be interesting to see what "free range" boys would be like if they weren't conditioned to be jerky, tough "men."
Nobody's saying that grown men shouldn't love their mothers or display their feelings or not cry etc. how it got twisted into that, isn't surprising on here....
He should be distancing himself from being her lap dog, not distancing himself from her values (assuming her values didn't include "if you have a problem, run home and mommy will fix it"). Big difference. Here's another one:
There is more than one definition of the mama's boy. I myself am not talking about six year olds here.
I am talking about the process of making "men" out of little boys and this is related to Mama's boys - because at about that age, if they are "too attached" to their mom's (per a coach or "the society," the messages about "Mama's boys" start coming . . .)
I am talking about the process of making "men" out of little boys and this is related to Mama's boys - because at about that age, if they are "too attached" to their mom's (per a coach or "the society," the messages about "Mama's boys" start coming . . .)
Hmm...I have a son, and haven't really seen these messages in abundance. Even so, I'm not sure that even though one might use the same term, that the two are really related. But how would you relate what you are talking about to what we are talking about here, where the dynamic between two adults is somewhat dysfunctional?
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Nobody's saying that grown men shouldn't love their mothers or display their feelings or not cry etc. how it got twisted into that, isn't surprising on here....
