U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 11-19-2012, 01:10 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 28,612,669 times
Reputation: 8780

Advertisements

Ok, the terms stalking and creepy have been brought up with regard to past and/or current romantic interests on FB. To me "stalking and creepy" is when a person is either (a) looking at the profile, and thinking about it and the person in it, a lot, even as little as weekly and/or (b) making a contact attempt which includes candor about romantic interest, past or present, and especially a more sexual type of communication which is inappropriate in a written message.

I think that curiosity is normal. We all want to know what someone is up to, and now looks like. Usually, if it's fairly open, one tour of their life is enough. If they add stuff often, I might go back. On the ones that are closed or add stuff at infrequent intervals, I go back every now and then to see if their level of privacy has been lowered or some other "exhibit" was entered.

The one thing I've heard is that if one then types in a person's name and you haven't in a while, if they have been looking at yours, the first few letters will bring up the person's profile as one of the first. I don't know if that's mechanically true on FB.

There is a difference between stalking and curiosity. What do YOU consider to be the difference?

Last edited by robertpolyglot; 11-19-2012 at 02:12 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 11-19-2012, 01:15 PM
 
Location: New York
269 posts, read 349,359 times
Reputation: 257
Under your definition, which mainly has to do with frequency, I think everybody "stalks." I think the line is where your intentions lie. Everyone experiences a delay in productivity from time to time while getting sucked into facebook, but if looking at someone's profile is prohibiting you from doing more important things & things that need done, then that is a problem. And by this, I mean specifically looking at one person's and lingering on their page a while, checking back several times in one sitting - when you have things to be doing. If you're just sitting on facebook in general instead of being productive, well then that's just lack of willpower Also, if you are stalking someone with a plot to control them in some way (keep track of where they go/are going, what they are doing, who they hang out with, etc.) then that is true stalking.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2012, 01:19 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 28,612,669 times
Reputation: 8780
Quote:
Originally Posted by iliza View Post
Under your definition, which mainly has to do with frequency, I think everybody "stalks." I think the line is where your intentions lie. Everyone experiences a delay in productivity from time to time while getting sucked into facebook, but if looking at someone's profile is prohibiting you from doing more important things & things that need done, then that is a problem. And by this, I mean specifically looking at one person's and lingering on their page a while, checking back several times in one sitting - when you have things to be doing. If you're just sitting on facebook in general instead of being productive, well then that's just lack of willpower Also, if you are stalking someone with a plot to control them in some way (keep track of where they go/are going, what they are doing, who they hang out with, etc.) then that is true stalking.
This is true, especially the bold. If you're sort of "window shopping" every now and then, and don't really plan to do anything with it, then it's not stalking.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2012, 02:35 PM
 
Location: not where you are
8,134 posts, read 7,641,472 times
Reputation: 6931
I think too many people spend way more time being creepy pondering other peoples lives and or peeking in on FB pages of people they don't even know. Really nothing wrong with being curious about someone that had a great impact on your life. As far as my own past friends, a year or so ago, I recieved a friend request from a long ago ex and we are now fb friends, and the extent of that is we have played catch up on each others lives over the past couple of decades. It was interesting to seen the paths our lives took. We were significant in each others lives, so of course, if nothing else,there would be momentary curiosities. I rarely check in on the site anymore. Only time I personally even go on FB is when someone messages me via the sight. Anyone that doesn't ever have any curiousity about a past friend, isn't the norm, but like most everything else they exist.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2012, 03:08 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,250 posts, read 41,828,694 times
Reputation: 83065
There is nothing creepy about looking up old friends/flames/acquaintances online.

The "creepy" factor comes in when you let them know you've been diligently researching them or having trouble bypassing their privacy settings.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2012, 03:13 PM
 
1,133 posts, read 1,912,563 times
Reputation: 1239
It's fine to look up old friends, ex's, even people you thought were hot to check out their latest pictures... It turns to stalking when you do it daily and it turns to creepy when you start interacting with them (like poking them or liking everything).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2012, 03:20 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 28,612,669 times
Reputation: 8780
Quote:
Originally Posted by BKSnook View Post
It's fine to look up old friends, ex's, even people you thought were hot to check out their latest pictures... It turns to stalking when you do it daily and it turns to creepy when you start interacting with them (like poking them or liking everything).
The feed comes up daily, so there's some people I know really well for whom the likes are ubiquitous in both directions, and it's fine. It depends on the rapport, I think.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2012, 03:21 PM
 
Location: not where you are
8,134 posts, read 7,641,472 times
Reputation: 6931
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
There is nothing creepy about looking up old friends/flames/acquaintances online.

The "creepy" factor comes in when you let them know you've been diligently researching them or having trouble bypassing their privacy settings.

LOL! That recently happened to me, I was like, um, well if this person needed more access than what I already allow, they might end up being unfriended altogether. I'm not big on that social media where everyone reads your every move, gets to know every detail of all your friends and family as well. I don't think so my dear. I'm bad as I can be already on CD and never the twain shall meet. Not that it will matter if they do, but some people need to stay elsewhere. I can only tolerate my real fake friends so much.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2012, 03:26 PM
 
12,540 posts, read 12,525,148 times
Reputation: 28901
Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpolyglot View Post
Ok, the terms stalking and creepy have been brought up with regard to past and/or current romantic interests on FB. To me "stalking and creepy" is when a person is either (a) looking at the profile, and thinking about it and the person in it, a lot, even as little as weekly and/or (b) making a contact attempt which includes candor about romantic interest, past or present, and especially a more sexual type of communication which is inappropriate in a written message.

I think that curiosity is normal. We all want to know what someone is up to, and now looks like. Usually, if it's fairly open, one tour of their life is enough. If they add stuff often, I might go back. On the ones that are closed or add stuff at infrequent intervals, I go back every now and then to see if their level of privacy has been lowered or some other "exhibit" was entered.

The one thing I've heard is that if one then types in a person's name and you haven't in a while, if they have been looking at yours, the first few letters will bring up the person's profile as one of the first. I don't know if that's mechanically true on FB.

There is a difference between stalking and curiosity. What do YOU consider to be the difference?
Curiosity: "Say, I wonder what my high school sweetheart is up to these days. I think I'll Google him/her. Oh, wow, he/she has a Facebook page. Lovely family. Great, I'm happy for him/her. Maybe I'll say hi."

Stalking: "Say, I wonder what my high school sweetheart is up to these days. I think I'll Google him/her. Oh, wow, he/she has a Facebook page. Maybe I'll say hi. But first let me look at his/her LinkedIn, Twitter, blog, YouTube, and work website, see if he/she is on Spokeo, find his/her email address and Google that, look at all the message boards and other sites that search returns, save photos of him/her on my computer, bookmark his/her pages, hit the pages enough to drive them up in search rankings, and jerk off/fantasize/plot revenge on the person first, so that I know everything I possibly can about the person even though by all indications that person has totally forgotten all about me and/or wants nothing to do with me. Or maybe I'll just sit out here, waiting...watching..."
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 11-19-2012, 03:37 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 28,612,669 times
Reputation: 8780
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
But first let me look at his/her LinkedIn
Hmmm, got any specific examples of that?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top