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Old 11-20-2012, 12:30 PM
 
700 posts, read 346,179 times
Reputation: 491
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveWisdom View Post
Why not marry? There are cons and pros of marriage. But here are some of the cons: Marriage kills romance. And why?

Because when two people date, they don't see each other too much and they MAKE time for each other and they miss each other. And so when they meet, they feel good and feel excited. But in marriage,

since people see each other everyday, they forget the fact that it's NOT the same as being together. They forget to make special times for being together. And even if they did, it's not the same. Because they see each other all the time and not only that, they see each other at not their best. Also, if in marriage, they have to fight (there are always problems of some sort that they would have to deal with). And so when they are together, sometimes they experience negative feelings about each other.

Of course there is a security in marriage, someone always there to help (although it's not quite true in all marriages anyways, but if it was true)... I think that having a close best friend could help with support

and therefore, the romance could be still alive through dating and the support could be there through friends/roommates

as far as having children.... it's much easier to raise a child with someone who is compatible in living style, so a best friend or a roommate....

nothing is perfect, there are cons and pros with both situations, so it just depends on what you want from life: stability security support and a quiet life or fulfillment, excitment, stimulation and some measure of support...
Have you been married or raised kids?
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:30 PM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
2,306 posts, read 1,638,830 times
Reputation: 1851
Quote:
Originally Posted by hml1976 View Post
Stable long term relationships are beneficial for men and women...but more for men.


Does Love Benefit Men's Or Women's Health More?
If something goes wrong with the marriage then women almost always come out on top. They get houses that they don't pay for and money that they've never earned in many cases. Also, unless the woman is a serial killer or something she'll get the kids, too.

Diet and exercise probably have a much bigger impact on health than being married. I'll pass.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:34 PM
 
700 posts, read 346,179 times
Reputation: 491
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago South Sider View Post
If something goes wrong with the marriage then women almost always come out on top. They get houses that they don't pay for and money that they've never earned in many cases. Also, unless the woman is a serial killer or something she'll get the kids, too.

Diet and exercise probably have a much bigger impact on health than being married. I'll pass.
This is changing. If you outearn your husband you can expect to pay child support. Custody arrangements are also changing.

Most women I know have worked during most or all of their marriage, so certainly they've contributed to the finances of buying a house.

As far as saying the women come out on top, that would be a misrepresentation. Maybe in very high profile divorce cases...in ordinary life, really not true.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:34 PM
 
2,203 posts, read 2,247,323 times
Reputation: 3827
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago South Sider View Post
If something goes wrong with the marriage then women almost always come out on top. They get houses that they don't pay for and money that they've never earned in many cases. Also, unless the woman is a serial killer or something she'll get the kids, too.

Diet and exercise probably have a much bigger impact on health than being married. I'll pass.
I definitely agree, you should not get married.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:35 PM
 
Location: NoVa
17,741 posts, read 16,978,102 times
Reputation: 17810
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
Well not really. My title is misleading, but sort of in response to the Marriage, I just don't get it thread.

I can totally understand why some people decide to be single. For some people that is the way to go, but for others, not so much.

People who are married really don't question why a person chooses to be single. Now there are those people out there that may, don't get me wrong. We all know of the people who ask when you are going to get married, or if you are married, when you are going to have children. I know those people exist.


For the people who are getting married, they obviously don't feel that way. Even as a divorced woman, I want to marry again. I want to be a wife. I want to have a husband. I don't care about his money. It will not end our sexlife. We won't be having any kids to steal our souls from us.

Those of us who are married or believe i the sanctity of marriage don't care if you are single and that is what you want to be. It is not even in question. It is not for all. Being a parent is not for all either....
Quote:
Originally Posted by filihok View Post
False


What does marriage give you that a committed monogamous long-term relationship doesn't?
filihok, I did say there are some that question, so if you are going to single out part of my post, make sure to mention the other important parts.

I am in a committed long term monogamous relationship right now and nothing about our relationship will change. For me, though, I do believe in the sanctity of marriage. Maybe I am old fashioned, I don't know.

Have you ever been married?

On another note.... guess who I have been goofing around with the last few days? Big Gus from Tattoo Nightmares! I didn't even realize it was him. I just approached him the other day like I would anyone else!
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:36 PM
 
Location: State of Relaxation
31,708 posts, read 17,432,545 times
Reputation: 21771
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveWisdom View Post
Why not marry? There are cons and pros of marriage. But here are some of the cons: Marriage kills romance.
This isn't what the married guys here on C-D say, not at all. There was a thread asking if they still found their wives sexy/desirable, and the responses were very enthusiastic. Successful couples do make time for each other, and do special things for each other. Sorry you don't know how to make a marriage work.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:38 PM
 
Location: NoVa
17,741 posts, read 16,978,102 times
Reputation: 17810
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago South Sider View Post
If something goes wrong with the marriage then women almost always come out on top. They get houses that they don't pay for and money that they've never earned in many cases. Also, unless the woman is a serial killer or something she'll get the kids, too.

Diet and exercise probably have a much bigger impact on health than being married. I'll pass.
This just isn't true. My ex husband has the kids and why? Because he could afford a lawyer and I could not.

I'm not even a serial killer!
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:38 PM
 
1,328 posts, read 1,151,404 times
Reputation: 1336
Quote:
Originally Posted by jade408 View Post
Actually the studies say the opposite. Men who are married are healthier and happier.


.
Read between the lines.

They are just trying to promote marriage because it contributes to the overall good of society.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:43 PM
 
Location: State of Relaxation
31,708 posts, read 17,432,545 times
Reputation: 21771
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago South Sider View Post
If something goes wrong with the marriage then women almost always come out on top. They get houses that they don't pay for
Most of my women friends and female relatives owned their own homes as single women. A couple of them have refused to marry the guys they're in LTR's with in order to not have any claims on their assets. A cousin lost her house when her gold-digger husband took her for everything she was worth a few years into the marriage. The old cliche about the wife getting a house she didn't pay for is going the way of the dodo bird as trends change, women get more education than men, and end up "marrying down". Not to mention all the couples with equal earning power.
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Old 11-20-2012, 12:44 PM
 
Location: Whiteville Tennessee
8,257 posts, read 11,034,449 times
Reputation: 9731
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
Well not really. My title is misleading, but sort of in response to the Marriage, I just don't get it thread.

I can totally understand why some people decide to be single. For some people that is the way to go, but for others, not so much.

People who are married really don't question why a person chooses to be single. Now there are those people out there that may, don't get me wrong. We all know of the people who ask when you are going to get married, or if you are married, when you are going to have children. I know those people exist.

I am in a relationship right now and am a divorced woman, so I know what it is like to be married. Obviously there was something wrong in my marriage and that is why I am divorced but I tried pretty hard. We were together for 16 years.

I know some people think there is no reason in this day and age to be married, that it is merely a legal document and now you are in some kind of binding agreement and your life is going to hell in a handbasket.

For the people who are getting married, they obviously don't feel that way. Even as a divorced woman, I want to marry again. I want to be a wife. I want to have a husband. I don't care about his money. It will not end our sexlife. We won't be having any kids to steal our souls from us.

Those of us who are married or believe i the sanctity of marriage don't care if you are single and that is what you want to be. It is not even in question. It is not for all. Being a parent is not for all either....
^^^Hey you! Come here.!!!!^^^^^^^^^^
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