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I texted a guy I am kind of seeing (as in we are likely to go out again) about my recent trip to the ER due to a rather bloody and painful injury. He texted back the usual niceties, but the text included this phrase "Poor kitten." And it was meant without sarcasm or irony. He also later used the endearment "kitty."
I'm not opposed to endearments AT ALL. I use them frequently with my friends and family members, and some of my nicknames bestowed upon me my friends and family are beyond ridiculous but... kitten????
I mentioned it to a friend from Ohio who thought it was sweet. I thought maybe my twitching may have been out of line. Another friend kind of thought it was strange. Then I mentioned it to my cousin back in Jersey - she is close to my age, married to her high school sweetheart and the mother of a 4-year-old child. We are very different and yet view each other as sisters. She started laughing. And continued to laugh. Then she started gasping. Asked me if the guy was joking around. I said "nope." And then she laughed some more.
Let's just say I'm not very kittenish.
And god forbid he use it while we are getting hot and heavy - talk about mood killer!
Any suggestions on how to gently discourage this or tactfully put things? It's kind of awful to reject someone's expression of affection, and this whole thing is in the very earliest stages of possibly turning into a relationship.
I know you mean well and I think it's wonderful that you are so endearing but I don't care much for the petname "kitten". It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.
my two cents... it's not unusual at all and I had a ltr where this was my pet name for her (hers for me was *way* worse)
of course if you don't like it though it's not going to fly. why not just text/say back something like "how about a different pet name, tiger " the next time it happens. if he's slick he'll pick up on the vibe without too much awkwardness. better than letting it become habitual
don't let your cuz's ridicule make you think it's so strange. you two might feed off each other a bit and were in sync about your feelings on this particular name
my two cents... it's not unusual at all and I had a ltr where this was my pet name for her (hers for me was *way* worse)
of course if you don't like it though it's not going to fly. why not just text/say back something like "how about a different pet name, tiger " the next time it happens. if he's slick he'll pick up on the vibe without too much awkwardness. better than letting it become habitual
don't let your cuz's ridicule make you think it's so strange. you two might feed off each other a bit and were in sync about your feelings on this particular name
LOL, my cousin wasn't ridiculing it necessarily, just the idea that I might be viewed as a "kitten" (and no doubt imagining the look on my face when I saw the text) - I tended to be the person my relatives called whenever there was a problem when I was living in my hometown. I'm like a prettier version of Harvey Keitel's character in Pulp Fiction - and yes, I have had to solve problems involving the cleaning-up of excessive amounts of blood (nothing illegal involved). They definitely don't see me as adorably helpless or ineffectual or diminutive, which I think is implied by that particular endearment.
That is cute. No one has ever called me a, "kitten", I think I would like it. At 6'0", no one thinks I am "kittenish". Sadly.
I don't think you really like this guy.
Actually, I do. He's brilliant (like seriously, seriously smart), attractive, inherently kind, humorous, a little offbeat and "gets" the concept of creativity. I just worry he's not really paying attention to who I am. He has a parent with a severely debilitating illness, and I think he's used to being a caretaker.
Being a bit of a caretaker myself, I know that sometimes you think that's your role in a romantic relationship. It took a long time (and a move across the country) for me to get to the point that I didn't seek to be that in each new relationship. So I wonder if he might not be doing what I used to do.
But I'm gonna save exploring that for another time.
Actually, I do. He's brilliant (like seriously, seriously smart), attractive, inherently kind, humorous, a little offbeat and "gets" the concept of creativity. I just worry he's not really paying attention to who I am. He has a parent with a severely debilitating illness, and I think he's used to being a caretaker.
Being a bit of a caretaker myself, I know that sometimes you think that's your role in a romantic relationship. It took a long time (and a move across the country) for me to get to the point that I didn't seek to be that in each new relationship. So I wonder if he might not be doing what I used to do.
But I'm gonna save exploring that for another time.
you might be overthinking it. maybe he just likes cats a lot and likes you a lot, and you guys cuddle
I have so many cutesy pet names for Mrs. CHow, I think she forgets her real name.
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" the next time it happens. if he's slick he'll pick up on the vibe without too much awkwardness. better than letting it become habitual
