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Old 11-28-2012, 04:04 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 27,518,778 times
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... you are sterile. That's right, it is medically determined that you "shoot blanks." (Vasectomy is not a consideration).

Men: How would you feel if you received this news? Would it depend on your stage of life?

Women: If this was the guy you had planned your life around, and you came to learn this, would you drop him? Is there more to it? Does it depend on whether this is marriage #1 for you? Or would it be ok if you had children with another man, even though you could still have kids?

My answer: I think it would be weird to learn to you couldn't carry out a "bodily function" that is taken as a given. I think it might have been mildly distressing up to the mid-30s. Beyond that, I think it wouldn't matter much, as in "whew."
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Old 11-28-2012, 04:07 PM
 
842 posts, read 1,050,089 times
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Millions of guys are sterile by choice. Go figure.
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Old 11-28-2012, 05:23 PM
 
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I think if a man was planning on having a family it would matter....my brother was married to a woman many years ago who found out she could never have children...the marriage ended, even though they still cared about each other...he now has the children he so desired...I think that it wouldn't matter at all except for this one big reason..kids...if you want them, then yes, it would matter, if not, then no, can't see why one would care, and it's definitely not weird at all.
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Old 11-28-2012, 05:26 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,416 posts, read 25,200,334 times
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I'd get over it
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Old 11-28-2012, 05:31 PM
 
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Depends on where we are in the relationship.

At this stage of my life I wouldn't care if he was sterile...I'd actually welcome it (4 kids, not planning on having anymore if I can help it!).

If I was dating someone casually...I'd probably lose interest. If I had been dating him long-term and we had plans on getting married that would be a very serious consideration.

I guess I can't answer the question except in the here and now, which would be "BONUS!"
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Old 11-28-2012, 05:35 PM
 
1,601 posts, read 1,715,546 times
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I'd be thrilled, as I don't want kids anyway.
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Old 11-28-2012, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tazzled View Post
I'd be thrilled, as I don't want kids anyway.
Ditto!
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Old 11-28-2012, 06:06 PM
 
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I might be a bit upset, because I know my boyfriend talks about having our "own" children, but I personally would be okay with and actually want to adopt. If anything, I'd be concerned about my boyfriend and his feelings. I really wouldn't care either way. It certainly wouldn't make me reconsider our relationship. However, if he refused to consider adoption as a result we might have issues...
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Old 11-28-2012, 06:06 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 27,518,778 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter View Post
Ditto!
I'm beginning to think there's a lot of people out there who would have this reaction these days. I wonder if it's any different than it would have been in the Eisenhower era, or it's more of a reflection of those who post on Relationships. Who knows.
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Old 11-28-2012, 06:23 PM
 
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My dad was shooting blanks. They used a sperm donor, and I never knew any difference. My dad is the one person I know has my back absolutely.

It was kind of funny - I didn't learn I wasn't his biological kid until my mid-20s, but I'd always viewed the idea of placing any value on biological ties as rather ridiculous. I had a lot of friends who were adopted and learned also how the strongest bonds in people's lives are often the ones they choose rather than the ones foisted upon them by random chance.

My father was furious when he found out (years after my mother gave me the information) that I knew the truth. He tried to blame it for the rifts in our relationship, which put me in the unique position of telling my father "We have problems because you're an a**hole, not because some stranger whacked off in a Dixie cup. The fact that you're an excellent dad, even though you're from a generation that wasn't that into adoption, and I never even suspected you weren't my biodad is sometimes the only thing that keeps me talking to you."

The ridiculous part is that he was totally ok with that. My dad - ok with being an ******* *eyeroll*

So if my S.O. couldn't have kids, I'd be totally ok with it. Wouldn't faze me in the least.
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