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11-30-2012, 12:06 AM
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Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,453 posts, read 12,931,115 times
Reputation: 7783
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In a SO. Both can work!
What do you make of the following statement :
A relationship with alot of common interests is far more likely to succeed in the long term vs one with very few common interests
Agree or disagree?
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11-30-2012, 12:28 AM
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12,533 posts, read 14,589,501 times
Reputation: 29060
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It's not how much the lovers love each other, it's what they love together.
I forget who said that, but I tend to think it's true. I think it's healthy for each person to have his or her own interests, but if they don't like to do a few different things together (things they both enjoy, not one going along and kind of suffering through it for the other's sake), then how much of life are they really sharing?
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11-30-2012, 07:01 AM
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4,761 posts, read 13,610,882 times
Reputation: 7939
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Totally agree! Not having things in common will cause problems...
If one person is a vegetarian and the other likes to eat meat, then you wind up cooking separate meals every day!
Or one likes stupid TV shows and the other educational documentaries, they wind up watching TV in separate rooms.
Or one likes doing things outside, going for hikes or whatever - the other does not want to leave the house. They wind up doing different things.
One likes to talk, the other never says a word and constantly texts.
Etc.
Best if you are "friends" and like to do the same things!
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11-30-2012, 07:07 AM
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3,636 posts, read 3,250,255 times
Reputation: 4316
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There is no right answer to the comparison and will be entirely dependant on the people involved. Too much in common can also be a bad thing as there are (again varying depending on the people involved) limits to how much time you should spend with your partner(s) and some "me" time is always important. If all your "me" time involves your partner(s) and so you effectively hardly ever get away from them this can be bad too.
I think everyone has to find their proper balance with the people they are in a relationship with. Me and my girlfriends have common interests - Brazillian J-Jit and Capoeira for example. But we each have our own too. I run, cycle, cook and garden a lot. The girls each have things they do in their time both together and apart too.
This means we do a lot together which brings us closer together. But we also do a lot apart which means when we come together at other times we have things to talk about too.
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11-30-2012, 08:38 AM
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Location: Canada
11,383 posts, read 11,031,103 times
Reputation: 28463
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dave nz
In a SO. Both can work!
What do you make of the following statement :
A relationship with alot of common interests is far more likely to succeed in the long term vs one with very few common interests
Agree or disagree?
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I think a relationship with common goals is far more likely to succeed. If you're not headed in the same direction in life, it won't matter if you both like to play tennis, watch Hawaii 5-0, listen to jazz music and go mountain-climbing. |
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11-30-2012, 09:38 AM
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Location: Austin, TX
1,351 posts, read 1,517,707 times
Reputation: 2956
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It's good to have at least some interests in common, but I think it is better for the couple to have compatible lifestyles, values or goals than it is to have a bunch of common interests. "Compatible" doesn't necessarily have to mean "the same" or "similar", although that is often the case.
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11-30-2012, 10:04 PM
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Location: Chicago
3,389 posts, read 4,294,766 times
Reputation: 7847
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dave nz
In a SO. Both can work!
What do you make of the following statement :
A relationship with alot of common interests is far more likely to succeed in the long term vs one with very few common interests
Agree or disagree?
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I've certainly found this to be true. While differences can make another person fascinating in the beginning, they tend to create conflict over time, particularly if they involve big things like one's basic values, goals or worldview. |
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11-30-2012, 10:32 PM
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Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,407 posts, read 29,730,620 times
Reputation: 16617
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I think it is too boring to date someone without having enough things in common.
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11-30-2012, 10:39 PM
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1,754 posts, read 2,381,374 times
Reputation: 3666
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I don't think it is so much common interests that matter, so much as common goals and ethics.
Me and my wife can agree on absolutely only one XM station. (lithium woo hoo)
Movies are a nightmare. We have separate dvr s. she doesn't care that much about sports. I don't like banging as much as she does.
But we can find plenty to do because we both like traveling and spending money and meeting new people and crap.
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11-30-2012, 10:41 PM
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1,754 posts, read 2,381,374 times
Reputation: 3666
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Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09
I think it is too boring to date someone without having enough things in common.
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I think it is the opposite. For a long time I was kind of off again on again with a female me. She kind of repulsed me but she had big cans. |
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