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What happened to personal responsibility? What happened to owning up to your own decisions? Oh hell no, lets blame someone else. Pathetic. Simply pathetic.
Don't have sex with men unless you are both honest and clarify your intentions beforehand. Simple. I really don't have sympathy for women who going around having sex with random men they meet in bars/nightclubs, and then wonder why the men don't call them back.
When I was younger I often slept with a guy early on thinking it was a relationship. It wasn't, he just wanted sex. Meanwhile I saw many of these men marry other women. I am 41 and will probably be single the rest of my life because I didn't realize these losers only saw me as a piece of meat. Next man who tries to get sex from me will get what he deserves and it won't be pretty.
Take some ogdam responsibility for your actions. You voluntarily had sex with these men and are now blaming them? Plus, the fact that you let that scenario play out multiple times without learning your lesson after the first couple of sexual encounters just proves that, on top of not holding yourself accountable for your own actions as any responsible, mature, adult should, you're an incompetent idiot as well. The sooner you own up to your mistakes the sooner you will be able to learn from them and move on with your life.
When I was younger I often slept with a guy early on thinking it was a relationship. It wasn't, he just wanted sex. Meanwhile I saw many of these men marry other women. I am 41 and will probably be single the rest of my life because I didn't realize these losers only saw me as a piece of meat. Next man who tries to get sex from me will get what he deserves and it won't be pretty.
A word to the wise:
Hookup culture is here to stay and has created the new baseline for how relationships develop--sex first, relationship second.
By opting out all you're doing now is just disqualifying yourself from the game, so to speak. Guys that can have any woman they want, and know they can get them thanks to how quickly women dropped their panties for them in the past (yay women's lib!), means you won't be getting top-shelf guys. Here's why:
The guys who can't get the easy lay tend to have problems of their own, and these are the lower quality guys you'll find willing to put in the work for a woman that's "hard to get". Or they're just very low libido. Think of it in the alpha/beta sense. Alphas have their pick of the litter, why would they go for a hard case when there's all these young nubile women who aren't as difficult to get what they want from? It's the betas who have to scrape and scrimp to get even a morsel of female attention, who are the ones you're relegating yourself to by playing hard to get. Whether you intended to or not is moot, but in the sexual marketplace this is the reality you will face.
As women age I've seen them face a pretty harsh reality. First off your physical attractiveness will really wane. We call this "hitting the wall". This typically results in a wake-up call and a lowering of standards. Suddenly guys you wouldn't have considered in the past, those betas, start looking reeeaaaaal good by comparison. Then the other aspect kicks in, much older guys will start pursuing you and you will find yourself considering them for a bit. These are guys way older than you would have expected and wouldn't have considered in the past (think 50s-70s). Now for the critical part: you'll consider these men and your options and will probably get bitter about it. A lot of women in their 40s still date and do well for themselves. On the other hand I've seen a lot of older women double down and end up spinsters with a toy dog or houseful of cats to keep them company. My advice for you is to decide now what your goals are and recognize ahead of time what you're about to face, if you haven't done so already, and figure out which route you'd prefer. All the hot studs knocking on your door is over, or is about to be, unless you include the ones 15-30 years older.
When I was younger I often slept with a guy early on thinking it was a relationship. It wasn't, he just wanted sex. Meanwhile I saw many of these men marry other women. I am 41 and will probably be single the rest of my life because I didn't realize these losers only saw me as a piece of meat. Next man who tries to get sex from me will get what he deserves and it won't be pretty.
Well, hang on.
In one sense, you do realize that you were doing something wrong in your relationships. At the same time, I'm not sure if you are fully exploring matters. I mean, how soon were you have sex? The first date? The third date?
And, of course, there's the question of personality. You're a pretty bitter person as evidenced by this post. I'm wondering how much of this was present earlier in life. You know, many a guy is attracted to a woman until her facade slips away to reveal a personality that isn't so pleasant to be around. Predictably, he vamooses. Are you that person without realizing it?
And, while we're at it, there are about 17,000 male posters on this board who whine about women not liking nice guys. Presumably, a small number of them might be stand-up honest guys who just aren't trying to get into your pants. Ever thought about reaching out to one of them?
I speak from male experience. All through my adult life I was sexually driven...I looked at sex as love and love as sex. It took a life time to figure out that after a few wives..and one for decades is that I had never been in love...just in the throws of passion...I have not lived with my wife for a number of year but have a good and warm relationship with her...recently she refuses to have sex...I tell her I love her....she insists that I don't that all I want is sex....I guess she is right...What I find now is that I love her regardless of sex...that I love her for what she is and who she is.
My record is one of a debaucher...what the old fashioned called a fornicator...It is kind of tragic to realize that I have never been in true love...it is kind of a shock. The advice I give young couples about love is "If your penis disappears and the vagina ceases to exist would you still want to be with each other?"
Sex is a powerful need to reproduce it is all about nature trying to usher in children to the world....Love is something else. True love is grand...find that - combine it with sex and you have bliss....even once the sex is gone...love sustains...I get a kick out of seeing a couple in their 80s holding hands as if they were teenagers.......my advice is to seek love...You will find it...I made the mistake of not looking for it because I did not know what it was- I thought the thrill of sex was love....it was an error...
My greatest quest at this point is to find love...To be old is okay...I can live with that- to be a failure in love is distressing.
BUT IN THE ALTERNATIVE - Hot sex with a super attractive woman will do.....see....temptation and the desire of the flesh is strong...
Nope.....second thought- I will wait for love...it may never come...and I may never find it. At least knowing I was a fool is of some consolation.
In all honesty true love is so powerful that I am terrified of it.....
In my 20's I had a smoking body with big breasts and men thought of me as a living Barbie Doll. They liked my body, just apparently not me. I didn't realize it at the time because I figured sex was great but years later I realized it was picking the wrong men.
Which means your bad experiences are partly your own fault.
Which means you need to stop blaming everyone else for your own lousy judgment and decisions.
Don't just pay lip service to your actions. Own them.
P.S. Stop living in the past, for your own sake. You're 41. You're more than halfway to the end of the average lifespan. Don't waste the rest of your life pissing and moaning about something that happened 20 years ago. That's just incredibly stupid and wasteful.
Really? Everytime a man puts up a post about not being able to find a woman, almost all the female posters here are quick to scorn him. Yet when women put up bitter posts like this, suddenly the same posters are gone and/or have a different attitude. Anyone who calls them out on their crap is suddenly a meanie, misogynist, etc. The double standards on this forum are so freaking annoying.
What's sad is the OP willingly gave it to up to every douche bag who came her way, and yet she will punish the nice guy by depriving him sex. The nice guy gets the reward of being trapped in a sexless marriage/relationship. LOL "the nice guy gets the girl in the end". LOL
Hookup culture is here to stay and has created the new baseline for how relationships develop--sex first, relationship second.
By opting out all you're doing now is just disqualifying yourself from the game, so to speak. Guys that can have any woman they want, and know they can get them thanks to how quickly women dropped their panties for them in the past (yay women's lib!), means you won't be getting top-shelf guys. Here's why:
The guys who can't get the easy lay tend to have problems of their own, and these are the lower quality guys you'll find willing to put in the work for a woman that's "hard to get". Or they're just very low libido. Think of it in the alpha/beta sense. Alphas have their pick of the litter, why would they go for a hard case when there's all these young nubile women who aren't as difficult to get what they want from? It's the betas who have to scrape and scrimp to get even a morsel of female attention, who are the ones you're relegating yourself to by playing hard to get. Whether you intended to or not is moot, but in the sexual marketplace this is the reality you will face.
As women age I've seen them face a pretty harsh reality. First off your physical attractiveness will really wane. We call this "hitting the wall". This typically results in a wake-up call and a lowering of standards. Suddenly guys you wouldn't have considered in the past, those betas, start looking reeeaaaaal good by comparison. Then the other aspect kicks in, much older guys will start pursuing you and you will find yourself considering them for a bit. These are guys way older than you would have expected and wouldn't have considered in the past (think 50s-70s). Now for the critical part: you'll consider these men and your options and will probably get bitter about it. A lot of women in their 40s still date and do well for themselves. On the other hand I've seen a lot of older women double down and end up spinsters with a toy dog or houseful of cats to keep them company. My advice for you is to decide now what your goals are and recognize ahead of time what you're about to face, if you haven't done so already, and figure out which route you'd prefer. All the hot studs knocking on your door is over, or is about to be, unless you include the ones 15-30 years older.
Really? Everytime a man puts up a post about not being able to find a woman, almost all the female posters here are quick to scorn him. Yet when women put up bitter posts like this, suddenly the same posters are gone and/or have a different attitude.
Are you serious? So far in this thread, the overwhelming majority of posters, including women, are saying "it's not them, it's you." Where are you getting this viewpoint from? Besides maybe a "life is soooo unfair to men" agenda?
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