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To answer the question in your thread title, yes, everyone, both men and women, feel hopeless at times. You are not the first person to go through a stretch in life lonely. I did not date at all in college. I was lonely, depressed, had very little money and was working 30 hrs/week in a construction materials testing laboratory while at the same time trying to stay afloat in the engineering program at ASU. Being a typical Engineer there were some lessons on the topic of people skills that I had to learn but I eventually was able to reach a point where meeting women and getting them to be my girlfriend became easy or at least less of an obstacle in my life.
I have a close friend that's tall, beautiful, has recently lost about 70lbs and is now in great shape. She was single for 10 years before her last boyfriend.
I have another good friend. Smart, great job as a Chemical Engineer at Honeywell, athletic, from Seattle area and loves the outdoors. She's been single since she graduated from college 3 years ago.
LOL just LOL @ even moderately attractive women being single
Nobody takes them seriously for a reason...probably because they're looking to date Hollywood celebrities or something. Any cute female has a line of guys after her that's 60 miles long
LOL just LOL @ even moderately attractive women being single
Nobody takes them seriously for a reason...probably because they're looking to date Hollywood celebrities or something. Any cute female has a line of guys after her that's 60 miles long
Knock it off. GSXR knows whereof he speaks. Women struggle just as much as men.
I have another good friend. Smart, great job as a Chemical Engineer at Honeywell, athletic, from Seattle area and loves the outdoors. She's been single since she graduated from college 3 years ago.
This is your friend's problem. She should move to coastal CA or NYC. Anywhere but the Northwest.
well, maybe you have a 1 in 10 chance of succeeding but I hate rejection so I'm not going to to ask a girl out unless she's clearly very interested
Rejection is part of the package. 1 in 10 is pretty good odds. That should give you hope. You only need to weed through 10 to find one. The sooner you get weeding, the sooner you'll find that 1. What are you waiting for?
No, we had some pleasant conversation for a few minutes and then I hit a wall and couldn't take it any further from there and couldn't think of anything to talk about. I don't know if she was disinterested in me or just being a typical woman and expecting the man to do absolutely everything
This is utterly ridiculous! SHE WAS AT WORK! She gets come-ons all the time. When she didn't hold up her side of the conversation, that was a deliberate signal! That was her "back off" signal. Learn to read the signals. And don't harass the service personnel. And don't expect any random stranger to be into you.
*sheesh*
I had a great day at work today and I hope those positive feelings would translate to maybe some success tonight with the ladies. I went out and was talking to this bartender at a very small local bar (only maybe 15 of us there so it's like she was getting hit on much at all)....Anyways, I tried as hard as I could to make something happen and we had a bit of pleasant conversation at the beginning, but I just hit a complete wall at one point and the whole thing was dead before it even started. I couldn't think of anything to say, she wouldn't start any conversation (typical situation with women where you have to do absolutely everything in the dating world to make anything happen)
I just can't get away from my feelings of being hopeless. I talked in my other thread of finding somebody overseas and what not, but it just drives me nuts being single without even any prospects day after day after day. I've been wanting somebody for soooo long. I just can't keep being forever alone like this and killing myself
Others have said it and I will reiterate... you reek of desperation, which is the least attractive quality the same way that confidence is the most attractive quality.
You're obsessing over this way too much way passed the point that it has made it harder for you to meet women. The best advice I can give to you is to step back and not let your less-than-ideal dating life ruin the rest of your life. Stop thinking about it 24/7, stop starting redundant threads on C-D, just go out and talk to women. Some of them will shoot you down, but some of them will be receptive if you approach the right way. Buy some products from the Modern Man (http://www.themodernman.com) and try to apply the techniques, but stop obsessing about it. If people who do not know you can see desperation through a computer screen, then so can the women you're hitting on.
I think you started a thread about hitting on bartenders before. Do yourself a favor... STOP. I'm not saying it's impossible, but I do not recommend trying to hit on women in the retail/service industry. This includes bartenders, waitresses, baristas, sales reps/girls working in stores, etc. Besides them being hit on by many other guys, they have a reason to be friendly with you that has nothing to do with whether or not they like you and that reason is they're doing what's best for them and their employer. Anywhere you go, his on customers, do not hit on employees.
Rejection is part of the package. 1 in 10 is pretty good odds. That should give you hope. You only need to weed through 10 to find one. The sooner you get weeding, the sooner you'll find that 1. What are you waiting for?
I think 1:10 odds is good if you're just approaching women willy nilly but there are other ways. In a bar setting it's harder b/c women know you're hitting on them if all you say is 'Hello.'
I just talk to girls that are friendly and willing to talk and go from there. Some I have met at the gym, others in my building, maybe some in places like Starbucks. Once you're friendly with someone and have spoken to her a few times, you'll have a sense of your chances. You can focus on the ones where you get a more positive vibe and your success rate will easily > 1:10.
If she's friendly to you and you reciprocate while making her laugh and coming off as non-threatening and not overly aggressive, you'll have a good chance. With so many guys coming on too strong too fast and saying stupid s***, it opens up opportunities for those of us who take a more subtle approach.
This is utterly ridiculous! SHE WAS AT WORK! She gets come-ons all the time. When she didn't hold up her side of the conversation, that was a deliberate signal! That was her "back off" signal. Learn to read the signals. And don't harass the service personnel. And don't expect any random stranger to be into you.
*sheesh*
I can tell the difference between backing off a conversation and just not continuing it. I can sense negative energy very well and she didn't give me any negative energy. Our conversation went well early on...after I just hit a wall, I couldn't think of anything more to say and the conversation dried up. In the dating game, as much as you hate to admit it, men are 99% responsible for the conversations and really everything else. If the conversation goes nowhere, it's all the man's fault. If the sex sucks, it's all the man's fault, etc....
There's really no way to tell if she was or wasn't interested (Really it's my fault for not building a strong connection to where I had at least a fighting chance with her)
As far as "not harassing service personnel", I don't talk to women who are busy at work. This place is very small, most of the night she just sat there and looked bored
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