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Have you ever accepted a date with someone you were not attracted to, because you didn't want to hurt the person's feelings? Have you ever given a friend of the opposite sex sexual gratification of any kind (not necessarily sex, but some type of gratification) even if you weren't attracted to them at all, to help them through a dry spell? I have done both of these things on a number of occasions, but i am taking a lot of heat for suggesting others should be so compassionate. I guess i'm just a nice person.
I have been entrapped into such a situation. On a few occasions, I have gone and was miserable.
On one occasion, I accepted an invitation from a woman who I really like as a friend but whose ethnicity I am generally not attracted to. I wound up getting to this backyard barbeque where the FOOD was GOOD, but her aunts, etc basically asked "Why don't you two get together?" I kind of shrugged it off, but that pissed me off. At any rate, she found (imported) someone from her country of origin who she married, and I felt relieved and happy for her.
The worst was one of those "too far ahead" in the calendar invites. A girl I didn't like who belonged to a parish group asked me, in December, what I was doing in on a specific day in late February. I said I didn't know. Her response: "Oh, good, then you can go to this parish function with me. I'll send you the ticket in the mail." I was even more pissed. At this point, I didn't subject myself to this. About 2 weeks prior, I put the ticket in the mail with a note saying "A friend of mine from ATL is coming into town with his wife and I have to show them around." It was a lie. I didn't want to tell her what I thought, I never went to that parish again, and I never heard from her again.
Bottom line: I don't believe in sympathy dates. I have been turned down for dates and there is nothing you can do about it. One should appreciate the "honesty."
Last edited by Keeper; 12-01-2012 at 06:58 AM..
Reason: Please really not nice
WTH? Why do you think a date necessarily EQUATES with sex? Sometimes you are reductionist, and you paint a picture of both genders at their worst. I don't know the same kind of people who give you that skewed outlook, and America's large urban centers are also my frame of reference.
WTH? Why do you think a date necessarily EQUATES with sex? Sometimes you are reductionist, and you paint a picture of both genders at their worst. I don't know the same kind of people that give you such a skewed outlook, and America's large urban centers is also my frame of reference.
Have you ever given a friend of the opposite sex sexual gratification of any kind (not necessarily sex, but some type of gratification) even if you weren't attracted to them at all, to help them through a dry spell?
It's called responding to the OP, so excuse me....and what am I supposed to do about you not knowing 'the same people I've known?' Okay, great then. That doesn't make what I've known discounted. But that's another thread.
I've been on a couple of sympathy dates. No horror stories to tell, generally they were "you'll like this guy sooooooooooo much" hookups and the spark just wasn't there for me.
Have you ever given a friend of the opposite sex sexual gratification of any kind (not necessarily sex, but some type of gratification) even if you weren't attracted to them at all, to help them through a dry spell?
This periodically happens in people's lives, I guess. As long as it's not the order of the day and infatuation doesn't result from it. However, it can also be the end of the friendship. Movies love that basic theme - the two long-term friends who end up in the sack, and then wake up in shock to realize what happened.
I interpreted the OP to mean an evening out (movie, food) or going to a function with someone you don't dig, and not much more than that.
This periodically happens in people's lives, I guess. As long as it's not the order of the day and infatuation doesn't result from it. However, it can also be the end of the friendship. Movies love that basic theme - the two long-term friends who end up in the sack, and then wake up in shock to realize what happened.
I interpreted the OP to mean an evening out (movie, food) or going to a function with someone you don't dig, and not much more than that.
Well that's fine for other people then if it 'periodically happens to them.' To me it's free hooking for a guy, so nope. Looks like a duck, walks like a duck....Not sure how you came to that conclusion, Robert, when he said "sexual gratification of any kind." LOL.
It is not compassionate to put someone else in a position where they could someday find out that they've exposed themselves and their bodies at their most intimate to someone who finds them repulsive.
It is not compassionate to put someone else in a position where they could someday find out that they've exposed themselves and their bodies at their most intimate to someone who finds them repulsive.
It is not compassionate. It is perverse.
Did I miss something? I thought this was just about a date, not about sleeping with the person. ETA: Oh my goodness, yes, somehow missed part two, the whole sexual gratification thing. Out of sympathy? Good grief no.
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