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yeah, I'm pretty sure the me being too nice thing is a large part of the problem.
So stop being so nice until they deserve the better treatment. Remember, men need the chase in order to cherish the woman. And this guy probably misses the other girl more because she moved and he didn't catch her. Play hard to get, even slightly bitchy and with this guy, along with the attitude change, change something about your appearance and be little more girly in appearance.
Just a thought. I've been a lifelong tomboy myself and with mostly guys for friends. If you're too nice and comfortable to be with, be prepared to be treated like a sister or be offered a FWB relationship.
I don't think you should be friends with this guy any more if he can't even give you a clear answer on whether he likes you as more than a friend or not.
You don't deserve that kind of treatment. Sounds like he is just stringing you along for as long as he can. A real guy would answer you on whether he likes you as more than a friend or not. If I were you I would move on, so you can stop getting hurt.
If he made out with you and says he doesn't remember it... how many other girls could he make out with if you and him WERE together, and just "not remember it" later?
Whether the other girl he has feelings for or not ever turns into a relationship or not.. do you really want to be second skimmings? I think you're better than that.
You have feelings for him, so he is not just your friend.
He knows you have feelings for him and totally uses you, so you are not his friend.
I've been there, girlfriend. Don't take his calls. If he has some miraculous cinematic realization that you are the one for him, he'll find a way to get in touch with you. If not, you can gain the time and distance that is the only way to heal. And hopefully meet a better guy.
see, the thing is, I've been through this before, incidentally with the good guy friend that confronted this guy. I never stopped talking to my friend, I just eventually got past it, and everything's been fine since then. So i've never been the one to just completely stop talking to someone. Usually it gets done to me.
I'm not trying to be defensive; everything you all are saying makes perfect sense.
It's your heart. If you can get over your romantic feelings for him quickly, then fine be his friend. However, the concern here is that you still like him romantically, and I am not at all happy with the drunken kiss that he won't take responsibility for. Also, I don't want him taking advantage of your feelings for him by him trying to turn your current status into a some FWB thing.
So cut him off for a while, then renew the friendship when your heart has recovered. Plus, you aren't going to find a new guy to date as long as you are being seen hanging around him so much. Other guys will think that you aren't available, and you don't want that happening, do you?
I got trapped into this nonsense before, but then a friend gave me a wonderful book called "Why Men Love B----s" by Sherry Argov. It's not about being a mean and nasty person, just about holding back on the people-pleasing behavior until it's earned and giving a man a chance to woo you! I was taking the late-night phone calls and dropping plans to see him but I realized that he would never have done the same for me. There was no reason for him to change and have a real relationship with me because he was getting all the benefits of one already with an easy out! Put that phone down, girlfriend, and let him come to miss you and more importantly VALUE you! It may not ever turn into a relationship but at least you won't be in this emotional limbo. :-)
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