Now you want him.....he's successful. (guys, attracted, husband, younger)
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The guys in this situation should just bang the girls that didnt want him in the past for closure but he shouldn't date them(which I've seen dudes do) that's stupid
--"All women associate with any man only so long as they derive a benefit from the association. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place."
No different from guys.
I don't see most guys placing any benefit in associating with gals unless they can bust a nut inside her, bust a nut inside her friends, or use her to get gals they can bust a nut inside.
It's a people thing in my opinion as I highly doubt most people associate with those that serve no benefit to them.
I was a cute 20 something once and rejected a lot of guys from the bad guy to the nerdy guy. Not because of vanity, in fact I was extremely insecure, but because many guys at that age are just plain akward, stupid, jerks or clingy. No one is mature at that age. And this post is just one-sided and doesn't explain the situation deep enough.
The NY Magazine had an interesting article a few years ago, on how Manhattan women who were in their 30's and so desperate to get married, were turning to the underdog guy thinking he would be safe and not-commitmentphobic. But, the dating pool in Manhattan is so swamped with single, desperate to get married women, that the underdog figured this out and became a player and many women got burned.
--"All women associate with any man only so long as they derive a benefit from the association. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place."
What you described is basically what every single person on the planet does. Who associates with people that they derive no benefit from? And "benefit" can run the gamut between the benefit of laughter, the benefit of feeling good, the benefit of love, the benefit of trust, etc. I'm not going to hang around people if I don't enjoy their company. Who would? I benefit from all the people in my life - they all make my life better. I'm certainly not going to hang around people that make my life worse. I'm not sadistic like that.
Nerdy guy is now 37 and he's no longer nedy looking, he's transformed his body to a lean muscle machine and he's spent the last 15 years working on his career and building his business. He now earns a high 6 figure income and is well traveled.
WAIT A MINUTE ............. FAST FORWARD
Nerdy guy is now 40 and no longer taking steroids which made his pecker shrink. His career was exported to India to be done much cheaper and he's moved back to his mothers house. He also gave up on the hot chicks and discovered he's Gay.
I know/knew a lot of 'nerdy' smart guys/gals growing up (since we were all in the same honors classes, etc). Most of them were not ugly or socially awkward. They dated through high school and college.
I know a lot of professionals. People who make anywhere between $80k and $500k...those kind of people don't usually go into the stupid games that people on this forum seem to talk about so much. They date, they don't go for skanks or play boys, they meet attractive people of substance who also have brains and ambition, and they have nice lives. Never once has a female friend of mine discussed a guy's $$$ or his car or his connections, etc. Most of my male friends have behaved similarly - treating their women (now wives) very well, going for someone their own age and education level, eschewing the skanks.
The kind of weird stuff this op talks about (and is talked about ad nauseum on the relationship forum) seems to apply to a class of people I can't identify with and whose philosophy on life I can't wrap my head around.
I know/knew a lot of 'nerdy' smart guys/gals growing up (since we were all in the same honors classes, etc). Most of them were not ugly or socially awkward. They dated through high school and college.
I know a lot of professionals. People who make anywhere between $80k and $500k...those kind of people don't usually go into the stupid games that people on this forum seem to talk about so much. They date, they don't go for skanks or play boys, they meet attractive people of substance who also have brains and ambition, and they have nice lives. Never once has a female friend of mine discussed a guy's $$$ or his car or his connections, etc. Most of my male friends have behaved similarly - treating their women (now wives) very well, going for someone their own age and education level, eschewing the skanks.
The kind of weird stuff this op talks about (and is talked about ad nauseum on the relationship forum) seems to apply to a class of people I can't identify with and whose philosophy on life I can't wrap my head around.
I agree 100%!
I don't know anyone like the OP talks about. Sometimes I find the threads on this board rather bizzare. Either I'm living on a different planet, or some of the folks on this board are
The kind of weird stuff this op talks about (and is talked about ad nauseum on the relationship forum) seems to apply to a class of people I can't identify with and whose philosophy on life I can't wrap my head around.
That's because you're a common sense, level headed, educated professional who does not live in a fantasy world. You understand people and how they behave.
Many men and women lack these skills. We need more people like stan4.
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All I can say.....
