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To echo the idea of "manhood" is very detrimental to men. Men should be not be expected to withhold feelings, never cry, nor never touch another man outside of a quick hug (or throw out a "no homo" to reaffirm their heterosexuality) lest they cease to be regarded as "real men." Men are humans and humans break down sometimes, they want to give and receive affection and to take that away from an entire gender under this idea of manhood is absolutely ridiculous. And then these ideals are instilled in little boys from childhood to the games they play, to the sports they play, and up to the careers they're supposed to choose, and it shouldn't be that way.
edit: These are more Euro-centric western ideals, I should note. My family is Latino and while the men openly display affection and emotion, they have their own brand of machismo that can be a hassle to deal with.
I really dislike it when average men are treated with suspicion regarding children. This suspicion is by no means universal, but there are some irrational people who distrust male elementary school teachers, babysitters, etc. simply for being male. That really peeves me.
Yeah, aint' that ridiculous? I knew a guy in California who was bouncing around with his marketing degree, got divorced, and even had a son. He knew he needed to chart a new course. He went back to pick up the post-baccalaureate teaching credential, and I guess the one for the lower grades is more generic, so he went for it. That's what he now does. He doesn't love it, citing political bulls hit, but he doesn't miss the bouncing around from being in marketing/sales in small to mid-sized companies either. And he's a normal guy who needed to find a way to make a living, and this presented itself.
What to change about women: that you ought to be smart, if you want to be, and ditch the "Valley Girl act" if you think that it will endear you to men. Personally, I CAN'T stand it and there really is such a persona. It will only endear you to idiots.
I dislike how women are expected to give up their careers when they have young children. It makes no sense to force someone who is a major or primary bread winner to give up their career for something either parent can conceivably do or split responsibility on.
I find it absolutely ridiculous that men are half-expected to be slobs, and that any man who is acquainted with a clipper and some styling products or dresses in a neat, stylish way is suspected of being a closet homosexual.
Also, I find the notion put forth by several misandrists on this site that men are rutting animals who are only after sex to be completely absurd.
Men, pick something that is unfair to women... women pick something unfair to men. In the spirit of maybe getting along better someday
I have two double standards that i would fix. Udolipixie and some of the other ladies have pointed these out eloquently.
1. Household chores-- it is unfair that both women and men usually work full-time jobs these days, yet women are still expected to do the majority of the household chores. Sometimes women are expected to do nearly 100% of such chores. If both women and men are working 40+ hours, household chores should be split 50-50. If a woman is working part-time, a discrepancy is probably justified, but not likely to the degree of the woman having to do 100% of household chores.
2. Promiscuity-- of course, this is the classic men are praised for getting lots of ladies, while women are looked down on for sleeping with lots of men. In my opinion, the past should be the past. And of course it's a bit silly for guys to have a lot of sexual partners and expect their wives to be virgins. Finally, we are often the ones complaining that women are too picky... it's a bit paradoxical to also complain that women not picky enough.
So there you go ladies... for all you women who think i'm a neanderthal... i actually have some pro-woman positions after all
Men get admiration for being strong, confident and assertive, so let's lose the "B" word when we observe the same behavior in women!
i don't mind doing household chores. men & women tend to have different standards of cleanliness so if i don't do them they won't get done. that being said, when i make twice as much as my bf (and work 20 more hours a week), it really pisses me off when he can't get up from the TV to help me carry in our groceries (which i of course purchase for both of us). i know of plenty other men who will chip in their fair share, though.
i don't mind doing household chores. men & women tend to have different standards of cleanliness so if i don't do them they won't get done. that being said, when i make twice as much as my bf (and work 20 more hours a week), it really pisses me off when he can't get up from the TV to help me carry in our groceries (which i of course purchase for both of us). i know of plenty other men who will chip in their fair share, though.
Nope. Individuals have different standards of cleanliness. This goes back to an argument someone made up thread about how men are perceived to be slobs, men who are clean are in the closet, and women are supposed to clean up the messes that men make because "boys will be boys" and all that jazz.
As a former Resident Assistant, I can tell you first hand that I've done health & safety checks for apartments and have met some nasty, and I mean FILTHY girls and damn near OCD guys and vice versa. It's personality, and rearing to an extent (because I'm sure some of those gross students were not allowed to live in such a way at their parents' house), that dictates how clean you like your place.
For me, it's this antiquated idea that men aren't supposed to be emotional, or that it somehow makes a man less of a person if he displays an emotion that isn't anger. It's ridiculous, and severely unhealthy, to expect anyone to bottle up feelings.
I have to second this one myself. Some how men are supposed to just suck it up & not have emotions.
Men, pick something that is unfair to women... women pick something unfair to men. In the spirit of maybe getting along better someday
I have two double standards that i would fix. Udolipixie and some of the other ladies have pointed these out eloquently.
1. Household chores-- it is unfair that both women and men usually work full-time jobs these days, yet women are still expected to do the majority of the household chores. Sometimes women are expected to do nearly 100% of such chores. If both women and men are working 40+ hours, household chores should be split 50-50. If a woman is working part-time, a discrepancy is probably justified, but not likely to the degree of the woman having to do 100% of household chores.
2. Promiscuity-- of course, this is the classic men are praised for getting lots of ladies, while women are looked down on for sleeping with lots of men. In my opinion, the past should be the past. And of course it's a bit silly for guys to have a lot of sexual partners and expect their wives to be virgins. Finally, we are often the ones complaining that women are too picky... it's a bit paradoxical to also complain that women not picky enough.
So there you go ladies... for all you women who think i'm a neanderthal... i actually have some pro-woman positions after all
I would definitely like women to be judged less by their appearance and more by other factors. I am not surprised men don't want to date women they don't find physically attractive. I am surprised at how often men treat women they don't find physical attractive with contempt. It is like they think if she isn't pretty, she doesn't even deserve common courtesy.
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