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What do you mean? So advice like, "just be a gentleman, buy her nice things and treat her like a princess", isnt what all women want from guys?
LOL, maybe when we have you hooked and committed.
At the beginning things like being interesting and engaging matter much more. Along with confidence, and maybe a bit of an edge. But really something that makes you stand out from all of the rest.
Not that I disagree with you Jade..but that last bit got me thinking.
Isn't everyone "unique" nowadays? Everyone likes to think they have an edge, that they are a special little snowflake. You see it all the time, from college applications to job resumes to dating profiles.
-Likes outdoors, and hiking. I mean seriously, did we expect you to say, that you ****ing hate the outdoors?
-Can bring a fresh and innovative game plan to this company/college. Please...you and five thousand applicants from Mumbai.
-Likes to do faux quirky things, like playing the banjo, or the accordion, not because they like it but because it makes them hip. Also- thick square framed glasses and retro headphones.
-Engaged politically. It means he/she posted on facebook about poverty once five years ago, and sometimes likes to shout outside government buildings holding signs with a group of a few dozen others.
Truth is, most people are not special...if they were, then the very word average, and median, and majority and minority would lose their meanings. Statisticians and social scientists would be out of a job, as it were.
Sorry that was a rant that didn't have to do with the OP, just a pet peeve of mine.
If she barely knows this guy, why would he care about her? Dude, women like masculine men. Focus on displaying masculine traits, and you will attract women like crazy. Keep asking women for dating advice, and you will never get laid again.
P.S. WHen a woman says you are nice, what it really means is that you are not manly enough for her and you would make a great emotional tampon but will never, ever sleep with her. Its an insult, not a compliment.
Yeah when you hear a woman say you're nice, it's over as far as sleeping with her. I used to hear that a lot as I was taught to revere women but I came to realize nice guys are not respected by women and there is zero sexual energy on their part for the "nice guy." I learned how not to be a nice guy and have had to figure out ways to escape all of the female attention.
Yeah when you hear a woman say you're nice, it's over as far as sleeping with her. I used to hear that a lot as I was taught to revere women but I came to realize nice guys are not respected by women and there is zero sexual energy on their part for the "nice guy." I learned how not to be a nice guy and have had to figure out ways to escape all of the female attention.
I don't think you are going to listen to me, but I'm going to tell you what I've recently figured out, anyway.
You really should be who you are, and the best possible version of yourself. This sounds boring, like it will take forever, you want to be doing something, etc. But all of those women attracted to the real a**holes and the faux a**holes? They aren't really fantastic people. They are pretty freaking average themselves between the ears.
And even if you go with your initial plan, to be very caring, you still run the risk of getting with someone on false pretenses. Even worse if she is sticking her finger down her throat, or doing the emotional equivalent, to be more attractive... now you are a pair of frauds.
Unless you are out and out hideous, by being WHO YOU ARE, you will end up with a more solid, compatible but smaller group of women over time.
Not that I disagree with you Jade..but that last bit got me thinking.
Isn't everyone "unique" nowadays? Everyone likes to think they have an edge, that they are a special little snowflake. You see it all the time, from college applications to job resumes to dating profiles.
-Likes outdoors, and hiking. I mean seriously, did we expect you to say, that you ****ing hate the outdoors?
-Can bring a fresh and innovative game plan to this company/college. Please...you and five thousand applicants from Mumbai.
-Likes to do faux quirky things, like playing the banjo, or the accordion, not because they like it but because it makes them hip. Also- thick square framed glasses and retro headphones.
-Engaged politically. It means he/she posted on facebook about poverty once five years ago, and sometimes likes to shout outside government buildings holding signs with a group of a few dozen others.
Truth is, most people are not special...if they were, then the very word average, and median, and majority and minority would lose their meanings. Statisticians and social scientists would be out of a job, as it were.
Sorry that was a rant that didn't have to do with the OP, just a pet peeve of mine.
This discounts people who do these things because they genuinely enjoy them.
What if you play the accordion or banjo because those instruments are a major part of the music that you enjoy most? Because those instruments are currently "hip" and "twee", you're now seen as a "hipster" by default, regardless of how long you've been playing them.
What if you actually are engaged politically? I, personally, take my civic duties quite seriously. I do write my representatives, especially when they vote in a manner that I highly disagree with. I'm a member of two different organizations that are doing a lot to enact political policy changes - one nationally and one on the state level. But, because of armchair "activists", it would appear that I'm merely blowing smoke if I were to describe myself as "engaged politically".
I definitely agree that there is a major influx lately of "special snowflake" and "I'm different because ..." But, you can't lump everyone under the same umbrella. It's much too easy to do that.
So as to not hijack the thread:
When I say that I want someone with a great personality, I mean a personality that compliments my own. I'm a pretty low-key and sarcastic person who has been described as nonchalant, so I get along best with people who compliment those traits.
To me "smooth talkers" are smarmy, used car salesman types. I am not a schmoozer and I don't like being around people who are. It doesn't come off as a sign of confidence, to me. Similarly, I would be wary of anyone who "genuinely cares about me" when they haven't really gotten to know me.
I think good personality means different things to different people and you can't absolutely define it. What appeals to me may not appeal at all to other women. I look at some of the Drs at work and wonder what kind of women finds them attractive or nice. Personalities are like looks, each to their own.
For me though, a good personality is a witty and dry sense of humour and someone who is not conventional and staid. The rest is some undefinable quality that just resonates with me.
Not that I disagree with you Jade..but that last bit got me thinking.
Isn't everyone "unique" nowadays? Everyone likes to think they have an edge, that they are a special little snowflake. You see it all the time, from college applications to job resumes to dating profiles.
-Likes outdoors, and hiking. I mean seriously, did we expect you to say, that you ****ing hate the outdoors?
-Can bring a fresh and innovative game plan to this company/college. Please...you and five thousand applicants from Mumbai.
-Likes to do faux quirky things, like playing the banjo, or the accordion, not because they like it but because it makes them hip. Also- thick square framed glasses and retro headphones.
-Engaged politically. It means he/she posted on facebook about poverty once five years ago, and sometimes likes to shout outside government buildings holding signs with a group of a few dozen others.
Truth is, most people are not special...if they were, then the very word average, and median, and majority and minority would lose their meanings. Statisticians and social scientists would be out of a job, as it were.
Sorry that was a rant that didn't have to do with the OP, just a pet peeve of mine.
We were talking about the faux uniqueness of hipsters the other day. It is pretty funny.
You don't need to be "unique" necessarily to stand out. There are people who are just "there" for lack of a better term. There is a woman I went to college with. We lived in the same dorm for many of those years. I surmise we must have had a few meals together. Or went to some of the same parties. To be honest, I have zero recollection of her at all. But she seems to remember me quite a bit more.
Standing out could be anything from being unique, to having great style or being an excellent conversationalist. There may be many others that meet that same profile, but it is really something about you that makes you memorable enough to see again.
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