How is it working out for you so far? (dating, boyfriend, marriage)

[reed067]

There has been more then one time in our lives that we've have said ENOUGH when someone rips our heart out. So for those who have said this, how long did it last before you climbed back on the horse?
Or are you still sticking to your guns? If so how is it working out for you? Do you regret making that decsion?

[cdubs3201]

My last breakup was a very long and painful process. I'd say it took about 5 months to the point where I knew I'd never get back with her if it were my decision. I tried dating at this time but the woman I dated realized I wasn't ready and not over my ex. Then I realized I was carrying a chip and it was bothering me in an angry kind of way. I did something a little crazy and wrote my ex an email about trying to be friends. She had agreed to it but the tone of her words and they way she spoke to me on the phone was not something I appreciated, she sounded patronizing and as if she was talking down to me. I realize that this girl was just stupid and I cut off all contact. It actually helped me get over her a little faster than before.

Then a little over a year since breakup I got back into dating after a long break but I wasn't "feeling" the desire to date. I wasn't eager to go on dates I had set up and found myself wanting to do something else instead. I didn't enjoy the dates and I even met a couple women that were great but I just wasn't feeling it with them. I recently jumped back on the horse and I did meet a girl that I've been on a few dates with that I actually talked to a few times before meeting, we got along great and I was actually looking forward to meeting her so it's going well so far, just taking it one step at a time.

[kimbo28]

I had an amicable ending, and I never swore off men or anything but like I said in another thread, I'm constantly finding reasons to not let guys in, even if they seem great. Maybe I'll cut it out when I find the right person. I'm probably just scared of another relationship ending - albeit for the right reasons - because it is still one of the worst feelings.

[Mandate_of_Heaven]

what reasons do you use to justify not letting them in?

[kimbo28]

I don't justify it, I know I'm doing it but instead of giving a long song & dance, I just end it and say that I don't want to waste their time because I don't feel it going anywhere.

In my defence, one guy was a little bit much and even if I was 100% emotionally available, it probably wouldn't have worked. Wanting to hang out every single night HE was available and acting like a child if I had other plans. Gear down there, big rig.

[Mandate_of_Heaven]

so then why do you continue to date if that is the case? shouldn't you just take a step back and heal until you are emotionally available?

[kimbo28]

Because I'm honestly a huge believer that when a person is right for me, I'll know it. And besides that, I've always been this way - even before my last major relationship. I've always found reasons not to date or continue to date people, and guess what? When my last boyfriend came around, I cut the crap because he was worthwhile pursuing.

[strawberrykiki]

Depends how long I dated the person and how much I cared about them as to how long I need. When my marriage ended I didn't date for a long time. Actually it was over in February and in May I dated someone for about a month and realized I just was not ready. Then I didn't date anyone for a year. Not even a first date, nothing.

[FromTN2A2]

Can't remember how long, but after my first heartbreak I made a promise to myself to never allow myself to become jaded. Wiser--yes, jaded--hell no. Love is the best feeling in the world for me --especially when its special between two lovers. Working out wonderfully for me! Regrets--heck no.

[Frihed89]

In my youth, I could never seem to resist the painful agony of heartbreak. I reveled in my self-pity. But, as I grew older, I think I learned you get what you expect and the expectation of agony was replaced by the expectation of love.