Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I proposed a theory in another forum (about being fat in LA), a theory that suggest why some, women, but not all, or even most women, are turned off by guys that focus on their appearance to much. Guys who really watch their weight, work out more, take more time and money into grooming, clothes, etc.
Now . . .
I'm not talking about narcissism. NO ONE likes that.
I'm not even talking about guys who know more about fashion and grooming than women. Its totally understandable for a woman to be turned off by a guy who spends more time in the bathroom than they do.
What I am talking about is women who are turned off by guys, who are secure in their masculinity to take style and grooming tips, that just dabble a little in what otherwise would be thought of "metrosexual" while even at the same time, they still have many masculine hobbies, personality traits, can fix things, do some basic car maintainance, etc., etc.,
My theory, is that some women don't like this, because to them, (and this has been confirmed to me second hand, is that those women (again not all, or even most) don't like this, because they want to be in control in mate selection/dating through improving of their appearance. They might even say "Guys should only do the basics like taking a shower, they shouldn't buy designer jeans, put product in their hair, wear any jewelry, be that concerned about their weight/waistline, thats for women" because they want to be in control. They know if men seek to improve their appearance, and become more physically attractive, then they would be able to exert the kind of control, and turn the tables in mate selection/dating.
And you know it is a little true, when I see the results of eating right/working out (in a little more bulk in the arms/chest/slimmer waist), or when I get a good haircut, new clothes, etc. I really do feel a little swagger creep in, and I like that feeling. But I wonder if some women feel that they should only be allowed to do that.
What do you think? (again this is not misogynistic because I know the most women don't think this).
I don't like men who are too concerned with their appearance because I'M not that concerned with my appearance. It's about aligning priorities.
As for the guys I date, well, they're always very popular with women no matter how much they dress up or down. Doesn't really make me jealous, since they've made a conscious decision to be with me.
I proposed a theory in another forum (about being fat in LA), a theory that suggest why some, women, but not all, or even most women, are turned off by guys that focus on their appearance to much. Guys who really watch their weight, work out more, take more time and money into grooming, clothes, etc.
Now . . .
I'm not talking about narcissism. NO ONE likes that.
I'm not even talking about guys who know more about fashion and grooming than women. Its totally understandable for a woman to be turned off by a guy who spends more time in the bathroom than they do.
What I am talking about is women who are turned off by guys, who are secure in their masculinity to take style and grooming tips, that just dabble a little in what otherwise would be thought of "metrosexual" while even at the same time, they still have many masculine hobbies, personality traits, can fix things, do some basic car maintainance, etc., etc.,
My theory, is that some women don't like this, because to them, (and this has been confirmed to me second hand, is that those women (again not all, or even most) don't like this, because they want to be in control in mate selection/dating through improving of their appearance. They might even say "Guys should only do the basics like taking a shower, they shouldn't buy designer jeans, put product in their hair, wear any jewelry, be that concerned about their weight/waistline, thats for women" because they want to be in control. They know if men seek to improve their appearance, and become more physically attractive, then they would be able to exert the kind of control, and turn the tables in mate selection/dating.
And you know it is a little true, when I see the results of eating right/working out (in a little more bulk in the arms/chest/slimmer waist), or when I get a good haircut, new clothes, etc. I really do feel a little swagger creep in, and I like that feeling. But I wonder if some women feel that they should only be allowed to do that.
What do you think? (again this is not misogynistic because I know the most women don't think this).
Not. Even. I don't want to improve anyone's appearance. I don't date "projects".
Like Jrz, I'm not a high maintenance person, and I certainly don't want to date a high maintenance person. I'm interested in someone who is happy and content with themselves.
In high school, there was a guy who kept a mirror in his locker and would primp in between classes. That's what I think of when I think high-maintenance, preening men. No thanks. That is a level of vanity that I have no interest in.
I don't like men who are too concerned with their appearance because I'M not that concerned with my appearance. It's about aligning priorities.
As for the guys I date, well, they're always very popular with women no matter how much they dress up or down. Doesn't really make me jealous, since they've made a conscious decision to be with me.
Get a new theory.
Yeah, that's kind of why I'm not very attracted to the gym rat type. I like a guy who's generally fit, but I actually hate working out (I consider it a necessary evil, like flossing.) So a dude who spends hours at the gym every day, knows his exact body fat percentage, is super competitive, etc., is not for me. He may very well be perfect for someone else, so she can have him.
Not. Even. I don't want to improve anyone's appearance. I don't date "projects".
Like Jrz, I'm not a high maintenance person, and I certainly don't want to date a high maintenance person. I'm interested in someone who is happy and content with themselves.
In high school, there was a guy who kept a mirror in his locker and would primp in between classes. That's what I think of when I think high-maintenance, preening men. No thanks. That is a level of vanity that I have no interest in.
Did he keep a jar of crisco or grease on hand to slick his hair back like John Travolta?
I agree. I think they are threatened by it. Kind of like an abusive husband who doesn't ever want his wife to look good in case other men find her attractive. It's a fear. Everyone has a right to take care of themselves. If you wear good clothes and a woman tells you not to because it's not a manly thing to do, you should tell her to go to hell.
Not. Even. I don't want to improve anyone's appearance. I don't date "projects".
I think you've mixed up his theory here. He's not saying women like "projects" to improve, it's that they DON'T want a guy's appearance to improve because this would make him more desirable to women thus causing her to lose control of her man.
I don't have a girlfriend, but I briefly dated a girl who was going in opposite directions than I was in terms of health and fitness. Simply put, I was getting better looking/hotter every month (due to diet and weightlifting) and she wasn't (didn't work out, was hitting early 30's). It's annoying.
I think you've mixed up his theory here. He's not saying women like "projects" to improve, it's that they DON'T want a guy's appearance to improve because this would make him more desirable to women thus causing her to lose control of her man.
I don't have a girlfriend, but I briefly dated a girl who was going in opposite directions than I was in terms of health and fitness. Simply put, I was getting better looking/hotter every month (due to diet and weightlifting) and she wasn't (didn't work out, was hitting early 30's). It's annoying.
YOU'VE mixed up his theory, actually. You were the one annoyed by her lagging your improvement, whereas his post was about women being annoyed by men who are more into their appearance than they are.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
