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What it all comes down to is that women are looking for man to take care of them, and the thing is women have a short window period to find and attract a man who has enough money/resources to provide for them when they're young and fertile so they get angry at men who don't seem to take them (or life) seriously.
In other words, women are like buses, and they come drive by every 20 minutes or so eagerly trying to get to their detestation and here you are lollygagging in the sun at the bus stop deciding if you're going to get on the bus or not so they just get mad that you're wasting time so they pull off in frustration hoping they can pick up another guy at the next stop and not run out of time before that last egg drops at the end of the line.
I spoke to a few elderly people and they told me back in the 1960's on back people got married when they were young and poor but worked TOGETHER to make a living and it worked out better that way because they formed a bond through all the difficulties apposed to today where young people accumulate everything on their own but then have a much harder time finding mate because they refuse to share, they're use to living alone, and they're quick to break up because everybody is independent and don't really need each other.
I mean it's real bad today... For example, none of the girlfriends I had wanted to help me in my business even though the profits I made would be expected to be spent on them so I do EVERYTHING myself. On the other hand, I met a 70 year old woman who told me her late husband had the same business I did over 40 years ago and she said she was her husbands secretary from day one where by she would take all the calls and organize his customers.
I was jealous and sad when she told me this, women today are not the same as generations long ago.
People married more out of necessity back in the 40s and 50s than they do now. They rarely married out of live. They generally had very mutual circumstances, and marriage was a good way to better your economic situation. The reason people didn't divorce because it wasn't as easy. So they made due what marital decision they made. I know a TON of older people who had secret affairs for decades, and tons of women who sat back and "dealt with it". Things are not as fantastical back in the 30s and 40s as we like to envision. Their dirt was not as out in the open. The reason why love is so hard now is because we ACTUALLY marry out of love. And when love is no longer there, it's not as hard to go to divorce court.
And with that said men were out of the house at 18 or even earlier back in the older days! There was no staying at home at 30 that's for sure.
I had a brief stint in real estate and there are so many variables in how people acquire property (i.e.,timing, luck). Also, there are periods of times where living at home, or renting an apartment/room is financially more prudent then owning a home; it all depends.
And again, it's all about different aspirations in life.... I don't own a home, but I do have a valid passport and I'm more interested in living a rich, full, exciting life by filling the pages of my passport book (while I'm young) and learning new languages then being another soulless automaton.
The thing that gets me is all the vitriol and hate spewed towards those of us who are living at home. There is a bit of anger there. What would be the female equivalent of a man living at home with his parents? A woman who doesn't take care of herself physically? I don't get mad at overweight women because I know that there are many reasons that people are overweight. I also know that weight can be lost just as the man in the OP has the potential to move out of his mother's house. Not everyone works on the same timeline. Not everyone can maintain a constant healthy weight.
But everyone now looks at where you are now and says "you're not worthy" and then move on to the next. You are either in or out. It feels like high school all over again.
Ok. Say you met a person, who would be an awesome partner, but you had to wait 5 years for them to get their act together. Would you wait? I think what people are forgetting is when you are waiting for someone else, in theory, some aspect of your life is being put on hold too.
The only person putting my life on hold is myself or something that is physically out of my hands. Otherwise, I'm going to always be moving forward in my life somehow. I've waited on someone before, and in hindsight, I lost a lot of good time that I could have been allocating elsewhere. In all honesty, if you continue living your life as you should, you subconsciously begin to slowly forget about the person or thing you are waiting on.
If you want to admit it or not, everyone allocates a certain amount of time for something or someone to make a decision. I can even dumb it down for you. If you went to a fast food restaurant, would you want to wait 30 minutes for a hamburger that really only takes 5 minutes (at most) to prepare? Life is very much like that. If you put any value in time, you aren't going to waste it on something or someone that isn't fulfilling your needs!
We are not in Mexico, or spain, or Brazil, or Italy. We are American. We don't lay up under moms house until wer 68 years old.
Yes, we are American where the job market terrible, the cost of living is sky high, gas is $3.50 bucks a gallon, public transportation is a joke so you need a car, and many people can't afford health insurance.
Yes, we are American where the job market terrible, the cost of living is sky high, gas is $3.50 bucks a gallon, public transportation is a joke so you need a car, and many people can't afford health insurance.
Cry me a river, deal with it. Life isn't meant to make you as comfortable as possible. Life has challenges. If you can't deal with challenges, then I can't see why anyone would bother with you.
That guy isn't living with his mother because he loves her. He's living with her, because he can stay there virtually rent free, and even if she did charge him rent, she probably wouldn't evict him. It's not really all about money, it's about people taking responsibility. I don't care what people in other countries do. If you're a 30 year old in America living with Mom, you're a loser. I've had to move back with my mother once or twice, but I had an excuse in that I was laid off from my job and had no money. The minute I got a job and some money, I was out of there. There is something about being a man and having your OWN. you don't need an expensive mortage or car (I have neither), but definitely you should be taking care of yourself. Anyone living under their mother's roof is doing a terrible job at holding themselves down. I mean how are you even an adult, when you can't even take on any responsibility.
We are not in Mexico, or spain, or Brazil, or Italy. We are American. We don't lay up under moms house until wer 68 years old.
Yes, thank you! Responsibility isn't fun, but who said that life was all about fun? Even so, being able to do for yourself has its own rewards.
Unless the OP left it out of her post, the guy isn't developmentally disabled or severely handicapped. Nor is he there to take care of his mother. Sounds like he is straight up taking advantage of her. And what on earth is attractive about a guy that would take advantage of his own mother?
I left my ex-fiance when I was 21, because he wasn't interested in moving out of his parents' house and doing anything for himself. His mother would work 14 hour days, despite having some serious health problems, and he wouldn't lift a finger to help out. I felt bad because, here is this woman in all kinds of pain, working her butt off and having to deal with two grown babies on top of it (Her husband wasn't much better). I made it a point when I was over there to help with dishes and things around the house, and she always made a point to thank me. Years later, I saw the guy (ex-fiance) at a bar, and he was bragging to someone about how he has no bills, no responsibilities...yeah, I made the right choice to leave that fool.
And, you're right. This isn't some other country, or even America 50 years ago. This is here and now. You deal with the cards that you're dealt. Unless I am way off base, the OP is looking for an equal partner, not someone who will take care of her. What's wrong with that?
Cry me a river, deal with it. Life isn't meant to make you as comfortable as possible. Life has challenges. If you can't deal with challenges, then I can't see why anyone would bother with you.
I don't see what the poor state of the country after the erosion of FDR's new deal has to do with personal challenges, but ok then.
Yes, we are American where the job market terrible, the cost of living is sky high, gas is $3.50 bucks a gallon, public transportation is a joke so you need a car, and many people can't afford health insurance.
Wow, entitled much?
Cost of living is far cheaper here than in many other countries, including my own, New Zealand. The US doesn't even rank in the top 25.
Cost of living is down, but the middle class is shrinking, wages are at their lowest since the Gilded Age of the robber barons, companies giving even marginal benefits like insurance and education are a thing of the past, and the top 1% of the country owns a massive share of the overall economic pie. NZ living costs may be higher but they also have a relatively stable economy, a strong tourism influx and plenty of natural resources.
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