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Other than the "not falling in love" part, it sounds like a committed relationship. I'm not picking on anyone here but it sounds like the OP's scenario is everything a relationship is, just not labelling it as one so the participants can act like it's not a relationship? Maybe I'm missing something...?
I really don't know how many people would want to participate for any length of time in a monogamous sexual relationship and hang out as friends but never have it lead anywhere.
Yep, maybe so, but at the time it was exactly what we both wanted and we were both happy so no big deal. He had his life, I had mine, they were in no way intertwined and while we did spend time together and do things as friends occasionally, it was more often just hooking up.
I think you're probably right about it just not being labelled as one because neither of us really wanted to commit to each other. Immature point of view, but hey - I was 21 when it started.
It sounds like you're giving up rather than making an active choice. The bolded part, above, described my SO at 38, until we met and we're engaged now. Your life isn't over at 36!
Not exactly. I spent most of my life expecting to be married with children by the time I was 30. Never happened. Then I thought back to my childhood, with all the people telling me "someday when you're married" and "when you have children of your own" etc. I always told people I wanted to be married with lots of kids, well into my 20s - largely because that's what other people thought I should want and I just absorbed that.
Interestingly, this theoretical husband and kids never figured into my daydreams though. When I pictured myself and my future, it was always in my own space with my animals and my books and no husband or kids in sight.
Maybe I'll meet someone who I want to marry and have kids with. I'm not holding my breath, and I'm not chasing that as a goal. A couple years ago, I moved away from my hometown to an entirely new place. It was a huge step for me, and it transformed my life for the better. I've kind of decided to be super-attentive to what actually makes me happy. My choices in the last couple years have been about what will contribute the most to my happiness rather than the expectations of others.
It's possible. I've had a similar arrangement with someone for several years. I guess the difference is that we both, at some point, did have a relationship with different people and stopped hooking up. After that ended, we were back on.
We're coworkers and close friends, and we sex it up without any drama for 5 years. I break all the rules. *shrug*
It's possible. I've had a similar arrangement with someone for several years. I guess the difference is that we both, at some point, did have a relationship with different people and stopped hooking up. After that ended, we were back on.
We're coworkers and close friends, and we sex it up without any drama for 5 years. I break all the rules. *shrug*
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
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You had me until "Is it unreasonable of me to want a sexually exclusive relationship with no expectation of moving in together or getting married or even falling in love?"
I don't know if you can make it work but it sounds like a dream come true.
Funny how so many guys, who are all too willing to think it's cool for a man to be a total player, are like "but...but...we can't play house? Then what's in it for me?" ha.
I can imagine a scenario where you are internet friends, participating in the same internet communities that might revolve around other interests (not dating communities or even forums like this one) and maybe fly out some distance for a weekend fling and fly home and resume friends like it never happened. I think that might be workable. Might prevent people from getting too attached.
Honestly I've been faithfully married for so long I don't even know what works anymore. Had a lot of FWB back as a teenager, when I racked up most of my rather high count of partners...but there were definitely a few that I got attached to, and then I was sad when they found someone to be their "real girlfriend" and vanished from my life. Likewise there were a few boys that got attached and I got annoyed with, because I really didn't want them around.
And then my husband came along...and I thought he was just another guy who would one day go out of my life, but he grabbed hold and never let go...
Anyhow best of luck, would love to know how it all works out for ya.
I think you can find what you seek minus sexual exclusivity. why would a man be exclusive to you under, these circumstances? It makes no sense. I would suggest you look for a Don't ask don't tell situation.
I've got a good life. I'm about to buy a house (fingers crossed), I make decent money (enough to support myself), I have friends and family who love me, and I have a lot of interests that fill my time. I don't have a relationship though.
But the thing is, I'm not lacking for companionship or love in my life. My friends and family are awesome, even if some of them are far way. Romantically speaking, I had a great, near-storybook romance in my 20s that I'm not looking to recapture or repeat. I'm not closed off to romantic love, but I'm not desperate for it. If it happens, well great. If not, well, I've already had that in my life and it was quite nice. The only thing missing from my life really is passion and sex.
I love the physical intimacy, the excitement, the sensation of it all. I love the adrenaline rush, and the relaxation that follows. I like the snuggling. My sex drive is high, to say the least.
Is it unreasonable of me to want a sexually exclusive relationship with no expectation of moving in together or getting married or even falling in love? Random hookups don't appeal to me, and I don't think I'd be able to have the kind of no-holds-barred sex I enjoy with someone I didn't have genuine warm feelings for or whom I didn't trust. I guess, really what I would want would be an exclusive FWB relationship, but the "F" part would have to be pretty genuine. If we should develop mutual romantic feelings, that's not my priority - but I wouldn't run from it either. And yeah, I realize these kinds of things usually end with someone getting hurt, but isn't that the way of most relationships? Is it possible to have a warm and friendly sexual relationship that is free of expectations, goals and agendas?
Has anyone had this type of relationship? If so, how did it end?
isn't that part called 'their dreams scenario?' A bunch of sex that goes nowhere and isn't expected to?
Sounds ok to me. You just have to find someone that wants the same things you do i.e. FWB.
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