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I'm actually not joking, at least when it comes to traditional Asian cultures. In such families, selecting the partner to your children, sons especially, is extremely serious business. They don't have concepts of dating or romance in the Western sense. Romance comes later, if at all. Financial stability, good family background, good moral quality, all of this comes before that.
As for a Westernized women, I can't imagine why they, would all the freedom available to them, would not want dating to be fun.
I'm only peripherally familiar with arranged marriage, as a concept - not in practice. I was always under the impression that there was betrothal according to family linkage - is this not the case, then?
I'm only peripherally familiar with arranged marriage, as a concept - not in practice. I was always under the impression that there was betrothal according to family linkage - is this not the case, then?
Well, I don't want to give you the wrong impression. Arranged marriages in the East Asian countries and more modern South East Asian countries like Singapore or Malaysia are dying out. India is probably the most modern Asian country that still widely practices arranged marriages in the most pure definition of the word; whereby the parents will contact the other family with or without the help of a matchmaker, and conduct it like two companies conducting a merger, with little to no input from the bride or groom.
Outside of India there is a sort of soft version of arranged marriage, depending on how conservative the familiy is. In the major cities like Hong Kong, Seoul or Tokyo no doubt there are plenty of Westernized kids now who can date as they wish, without parental interference. Once you move to the rural areas though, you still have families suggesting or pushing their kids to certain matches, usually within the same community. Generally families with daughters want to marry up, status wise- thus in a small town or village, the farmer's daughter might go with the headman or elder's son. That would be a good match.
It gets interesting when you have traditional families bringing up their kids here in the States. Hence why you see threads about culture clashes or "Will his/her parents approve of me?". These children are getting their chance to date inter racially and inter culturally for the first time, much to their parents horror.
I'm actually not joking, at least when it comes to traditional Asian cultures. In such families, selecting the partner to your children, sons especially, is extremely serious business. They don't have concepts of dating or romance in the Western sense. Romance comes later, if at all. Financial stability, good family background, good moral quality, all of this comes before that.
Yeah, interesting cause the girl I mentioned in my first post was Chinese (grew up there, moved to LA 7 or 8 years ago). She had a sense of humor and everything, was pretty good looking in my opinion, but the "I don't date for fun" mentality was tough to get around. She was 32 at the time, as was I.
Looking back on it, I wonder why she even went out with me in the first place? In the Match world, she must've received tons of messages, yet she responded to mine and went on a date with me...even though I definitely didn't fit the description of her long-term ideal mate.
Reps, this is my approach to dating (and to life).
I think I may have actually met the girl of my dreams too. Seriously, I've been on a LOT of dates, and always lived by the bolded mantra. Just when I least expected it, I've found somebody REALLY awesome.
Dating only became fun for me the more of them I went on. It allowed me to really explore my options. The period of time that I was searching for a mate was really a tough time for me dating. It seemed when I was calm and collect, the women wanted me more compared to when I was more desperate.
I mean really, if you don't see dating as something fun (or that's supposed to be fun), then why even bother?
I think the statement comes from a person being physically attracted to the other person, but that person isn't physically attracted to them. So, while they are really into the date, the other person is hoping they get home in time to watch Honey Boo Boo. Hence, I don't date for fun! It's a defense mechanism to cope with rejection, the same as saying, "I have enough friends and I don't need another one." Usually make that comment when you are being rejected by someone of the opposite sex that you like, but the feeling isn't mutual.
Dating still requires two people to be in sync, and look how often both people are out of sync.
I feel like 9 times out of 10 if you are laid back and willing to have fun (nothing sexual), you will get a second date. If your acting like an HR rep for a fortune 500 company, then you will never fill that position that you seemed to be hiring someone for.
why date when women will judge you as a beta male at the drop of a hat? what's fun about being compared unfavorably to someone's previous lovers? what's fun about even having been born except that our parents had us because they were in love because back in those days our parents didn't have any previous partners to compare each other to. easier days indeed
Here's what I do for fun in dating: First date, I usually play tennis, go cycling, hiking, ice skating followed by coffee or lunch. That way, I get to be outside, be active, do stuff I like to do anyway, and also get to know them in a low key relaxed atmosphere.
No reason you can't have fun and still get to know them.
In the country where I live, having sex is a perfectly accepted dating activity at any age. Since women generally hold the power over men in this country, they are generally the ones to decide. It is impossible to talk a danish girl/woman into having sex.
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