Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Why is it when you show interest in someone you dont get nothing back but the moment you reject them, they come chasing you ( to that point)? Did it happen to you? Did you reject someone and you became their number 1 crush? Did someone reject you ( someone you were ignoring)and the moment they did you came running after them? Please state your experience and how did you deal with it. Thanks.
I wonder this too and yes it has happened to me. I don't get it. I think it maybe just means that they were UNSURE about you and wanted more time to make up their mind (which is silly, imo) but then you cut the pursuit short earlier than they wanted so they began a brief chase of you to try to get you to come back and stick around longer and resume your pursuit of them again, even though nothing has changed or will change.
Basically, they just like having the option of being with you there if they want to and they probably like the attention too.
I think it is easy. No one wants to be told they are not good enough, bottom line. It is just a natural human thing.
Yeah, but what if it's just about knowing you won't make a good match?
That doesn't mean you're not good enough. It just means I know we won't get along in the long run...that there's no future.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,733,093 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4
Yeah, but what if it's just about knowing you won't make a good match?
That doesn't mean you're not good enough. It just means I know we won't get along in the long run...that there's no future.
The problem is that you don't know that at the time. You don't have that crystal ball to see you wont be a match. If you are approaching them and are thinking they must be a great person, what else do you know about them?
Honest rejection is manageable; that means the rejecting party was upfront and it is easier to accept that given time...however...
The torture is the type who pushes you away and then wants your attention again. Had this happen this past summer. Thick as thieves, close as can be and then he pulls a disappearing act, only to reconnect as if it wasn't a big deal. A lot of arguments, talking things out but this pattern just never ended. After enough of this, I'd had it & said see ya later.
It has to be an attention/ego thing - if they know you really want to be with them, this is actually pretty hurtful and manipulative and while it is fascinating initially, it becomes tiresome and looking back, you'll wonder why you even wasted your time & energy.
I just recently found this website that was pretty good at explaining this:
The problem is that you don't know that at the time. You don't have that crystal ball to see you wont be a match. If you are approaching them and are thinking they must be a great person, what else do you know about them?
What do you mean I don't know them?
That would only apply to a situation where some total stranger asked another total stranger out.
Which I think is bogus because the only reason that would happen would be purely based on looks. And I'd say no 100% of the time on that one...it's gross and objectifying.
Usually when someone has asked me out, we've spent enough time together that I know their name, where they're from, what they do, what kind of education they have...often their political stance, a sense of their values, etc.
Honestly, it doesn't take much to know that there's no future for someone. Some of us don't just date for fun. We date with purpose.
No, you really have to look at it a little closer than that.
If I'm looking for a car that I can safely put a car seat in, a Miata isn't going to 'make the cut,' but that doesn't make the Miata a bad car. It just doesn't fit my needs.
Honest rejection is manageable; that means the rejecting party was upfront and it is easier to accept that given time...however...
The torture is the type who pushes you away and then wants your attention again. Had this happen this past summer. Thick as thieves, close as can be and then he pulls a disappearing act, only to reconnect as if it wasn't a big deal. A lot of arguments, talking things out but this pattern just never ended. After enough of this, I'd had it & said see ya later.
It has to be an attention/ego thing - if they know you really want to be with them, this is actually pretty hurtful and manipulative and while it is fascinating initially, it becomes tiresome and looking back, you'll wonder why you even wasted your time & energy.
I just recently found this website that was pretty good at explaining this:
As a guy I can see that some of that advice is good as is the overall message,but a lot of it seems to be intentionally manipulative. Dating isn't a game when you're with the right person.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Rejection is the greatest aphrodisiac
