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I've been dating a guy for a several months now who I truly have grown to care about.
For some reason, something prompted me to randomly search his online dating profile username and when I did a couple of startling things came up. For one, in 2007, he was in a 5 year relationship with another women who used to use "toys" on him.
Apparently this is normal? I didn't know this, but a lot of couples do it.
Also, they both considered "corrective" surgery for one another to have opposite parts. And that he was interested in gay men and transgendered men (?). I'm guessing he was interested in becoming a woman and she the guy.
I guess I snooped? But this was all available from a google search. Our relationship hasn't been the best and he always seems half in & half out. One day he will want to be with me and the next he has to think about it.
When I was staying by his house one day, I was putting my clothes in a drawer and came across some 1x-2x Lingerie. I asked him and he told me that he likes sexy lingerie. He put it in his closet. I didn't think anything of it, but now. It makes me wonder if it was for him because of the size.
Should I address my findings with him? He will be back in town on Monday.
I'm not even sure where to start with this one. I guess you would have to ask your self,
does this change the way you feel about him? Would you be willing to stay with him if he was Bi? I think you should mention it to him seeing that wanted you to check out his dating profiles of the past. Then again maybe he is trying to tell you that he is more into guys then he is you. Or wants both. Either way you need to sit down & talk to him about this. SOON!
I'm not even sure where to start with this one. I guess you would have to ask your self,
does this change the way you feel about him? Would you be willing to stay with him if he was Bi? I think you should mention it to him seeing that wanted you to check out his dating profiles of the past. Then again maybe he is trying to tell you that he is more into guys then he is you. Or wants both. Either way you need to sit down & talk to him about this. SOON!
The bold is bothersome. This is new to me, so I wonder if he would be content being with just me. Especially since he acts so confused right now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by StabbyAbby
If it really matters to you, ask him.
Does the transgender/gay thing bother you, or are you just curious about a taboo subject?
What really bothers me is the sex change that he was considering.
I'm not sure I'm cool with the snooping part, but what you did is not like reading his email or his call/SMS history.
That said, it sounds like this guy does not yet trust you with his deepest darkest secrets and fantasies. I'm not sure how long "several months" is, but that would be far more worrisome than the stuff he was into.
I'm not sure I'm cool with the snooping part, but what you did is not like reading his email or his call/SMS history.
That said, it sounds like this guy does not yet trust you with his deepest darkest secrets and fantasies. I'm not sure how long "several months" is, but that would be far more worrisome than the stuff he was into.
That's why I'm not sure if I want to bring it up because I did snoop. Kind of.
And he doesn't trust me and even mentioned he wouldn't tell me anything about his past anymore.
We've been talking/dating since the middle of July.
Our relationship hasn't been the best and he always seems half in & half out. One day he will want to be with me and the next he has to think about it.
Other issues aside, this in itself is cause for concern. And you say you've grown to care about this guy? Someone who's unreliable in his feelings for you? Sounds like you're putting your eggs in the wrong basket.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 12-15-2012 at 06:10 PM..
And he doesn't trust me and even mentioned he wouldn't tell me anything about his past anymore.
Another red flag. Why would you consider pursuing a relationship with someone like this?
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Or wants both. Either way you need to sit down & talk to him about this. SOON!
