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Old 12-16-2012, 09:42 AM
 
Location: Homeless
17,717 posts, read 13,482,037 times
Reputation: 11994

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So here is the deal while talking to my GF the other night she had asked if I had told my mom that she is Pagan like me. I old her no & explained that I wanted her to meet you first & get to know you THEN I would drop that bomb. This topic came up because my mom bought her a anointed scarf or so she says. That’s not the point My GF wasn't upset she didn't understand why she would get someone a gift & not be sure of what they believe in. This morning we talk & she had thought about it & wanted to wait until my mom got to know her as a person before we dropped that bomb. I don't understand why someone would be a religious gift not knowing how their faith is. I think it's rude to assume that said person is of said faith. Soo should we wait to tell her or tell her before she gives her this extremely religious gift? My mom knows I'm Pagan & is slowly trying to convert me so she tolerates that in hopes of winning me over.


Please keep in mind that my mom is ULTRA CONSERTIVE CHRISTIAN and just about everything offends her if it's not Christian.
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Old 12-16-2012, 12:25 PM
 
76 posts, read 120,575 times
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Just let her know GF is Pagan and let it be? If that is offensive to her then OH WELL... she will get over it someday. If you let her know then at the very least you will give her the chance to either return the scarf or give it to someone else.
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Old 12-16-2012, 12:32 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,431 posts, read 34,290,114 times
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You could say you know, my gf is of the same faith as I am. That is really working well for us, blah blah blah...
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Old 12-16-2012, 12:46 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
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OP, many people give gifts based on their own personal taste and interests, rather than considering what the recipient would like. It's just narcissism. It's not unusual.
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Old 12-16-2012, 01:51 PM
 
Location: Homeless
17,717 posts, read 13,482,037 times
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My ex wife was Pagan as well & no one in my family found out untill much later after they knew her. My GF seems to think she would rather wait & get to know her before I told her being that first impressions are very important & all.
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:11 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,431 posts, read 34,290,114 times
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So she wants her first impression to be that of someone she is not?

She wants to pretend to be one person and then later down the line say this is who I really am. I was lying when I first met you...
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Homeless
17,717 posts, read 13,482,037 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
So she wants her first impression to be that of someone she is not?

She wants to pretend to be one person and then later down the line say this is who I really am. I was lying when I first met you...

She not pretending to be anything then what she is but Christians view us as scum my mom might get that same impression given her baised view points. She never asked me what my GF believes not that she really cares she spend so much time trying to convert me as it is.
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:40 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
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I'm Christian, and I had to look up what the heck an anointed scarf is.

But this post is not about the gift; like Pikantari said, it's about being honest.

Lots of people, religious or not, get gifts that they don't really like, that they can't use etc. You just accept it, say thanks and move on.

In this case, by all means go ahead and let your mom know your GF is pagan, if you think it's important to your future and your relationship with both of them. I seriously doubt your mom would go out and get a new non-religious gift for your GF regardless.

In the meantime, don't WORRY so much about your mom's gifts. Hopefully your GF is cool enough and tactful enough to say thanks when she gets it and not get offended. Then she can do what she wants with it when she gets home.
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:53 PM
 
Location: Austin
4,103 posts, read 7,013,566 times
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Maybe it's just me but I think there's a lot of overthinking going on here. All your gf has to do is say 'thank you' and be done with it. If your mom wants to talk religion with her your gf can casually tell her she's of pagan faith if she wishes. My MIL is a conservative christian. I believe in God but not religion myself so if she gave me a gift like that I would be genuinely thankful simply because she didn't have to give me a gift at all but chose to.
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Old 12-16-2012, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Homeless
17,717 posts, read 13,482,037 times
Reputation: 11994
The plan is for her to be nice & smile I understand we all get gifts that are ummm tactful at times & seeing that this is there first meeting I think it's better to just wait, maybe down the road just thought it was rude of my mom to assume more then anything that bugged me.
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