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I'm sorry. I had a feeling that's what it was and why I advised you not to go. I think deep down you were hoping he changed his mind.
There's nothing wrong with you, OP. Lots of amazing people get rejected. Look at Sandra Bullock! Gorgeous, rich, kind, successful...and her husband cheated on her with a piece of nasty trash. I just got rejected by someone I really liked because he doesn't have his life together...yeah okay. It happens. It isn't a reflection on you. ((hugs)) His loss!!
If they like you, they generally can't think of anything else.
No, they don't always make it known. Or maybe they "think" they've made it known, but they're subtle or shy or passive. In the initial stages, how was she to know he was also courting someone else? It's only been a couple of months. I can see how she thought he was interested.
Anyway, it totally sucks and I feel for her. We know, with time, she'll mend, but meanwhile, we can give her a cyber hug and wish her well.
Sorry LiberalVoice, sounds like a classic friend-zoning to me. A lot of people on this forum have experience with the friend-zone so read up. Just try to ignore the excessively bitter ones.
No, they don't always make it known. Or maybe they "think" they've made it known, but they're subtle or shy or passive. In the initial stages, how was she to know he was also courting someone else? It's only been a couple of months. I can see how she thought he was interested.
Anyway, it totally sucks and I feel for her. We know, with time, she'll mend, but meanwhile, we can give her a cyber hug and wish her well.
I've come to the conclusion that American men are a totally different breed to Australian.
In Australia, if they like you in "that way" they stand close, touch you every chance they get, ask how you are, care how you are, spend money on you, hang off every word you say, undress you with their eyes, try to show off in front of you (here little lady I'll open that beer for you), follow you around, ask you out, etc.
In America there seems to be this wierd sort of vacuum between men and women, maybe its a different morality.
Things just don't seem to flow naturally for you guys, with the opposite sex. These pages are FULL of people asking how to interpret what should be instinctive.
I blame the dating culture. In Australia, you don't date anyone you don't want to root. There are few mixed messages.
Sorry LiberalVoice, sounds like a classic friend-zoning to me. A lot of people on this forum have experience with the friend-zone so read up. Just try to ignore the excessively bitter ones.
Yeah, I know. I am so upset with how he handled it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MsAnnThrope
I've come to the conclusion that American men are a totally different breed to Australian.
In Australia, if they like you in "that way" they stand close, touch you every chance they get, ask how you are, care how you are, spend money on you, hang off every word you say, undress you with their eyes, try to show off in front of you (here little lady I'll open that beer for you), follow you around, ask you out, etc.
In America there seems to be this wierd sort of vacuum between men and women, maybe its a different morality.
Things just don't seem to flow naturally for you guys, with the opposite sex. These pages are FULL of people asking how to interpret what should be instinctive.
I blame the dating culture. In Australia, you don't date anyone you don't want to root. There are few mixed messages.
And he did all that you mentioned. Well....most of it despite being "drinking buddies".
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShellNic
No, they don't always make it known. Or maybe they "think" they've made it known, but they're subtle or shy or passive. In the initial stages, how was she to know he was also courting someone else? It's only been a couple of months. I can see how she thought he was interested.
Anyway, it totally sucks and I feel for her. We know, with time, she'll mend, but meanwhile, we can give her a cyber hug and wish her well.
And you know what? He did not tell me he was courting someone else. The funny thing is that I saw it all on Facebook. And I don't know how I was able to view it. None of my other friends could see this girls profile because she had privacy settings. Only me. How weird? I asked him about it and that is when he told me he had been meaning to tell me for a while but didn't know how too.
He should be so ashamed of himself. He made me walk to the student food center. Sat there like a dumbass and told me "I feel like a dick and stupid for leading you on but we are just drinking buddies." I just mumbled that it was okay and it got quiet for 5 minutes. And we sat there making awkward conversations. He offered to buy me pizza after and I said no even though I was hungry. I don't know how I left there without crying. He hugged me but I stepped back so it was like an awkward hug.
I went home. Opened up a bottle of Captain Morgan and got drunk and deactivated my Facebook. Typed out a message to him but did not hit send. Couldn't take seeing him all over her on Facebook like that. Didn't cry. Still haven't. I don't care how dramatic I sound but it is that time of month, finals are over, I am stressed about internship work and now this. I feel so ugly and unwanted. Degraded. Like "Drinking buddies". Cheap little "drinking buddy."
Lord, I did not know "drinking buddies" cuddle all night, lay in each others arms, tell each other they look good and pretty, call each other up because they had a bad day, give each other massages, hold hands, paid for me when we went out, have inside jokes and more. I must have been one good idiot to USE as a "drinking buddy".
I'm sorry. I had a feeling that's what it was and why I advised you not to go. I think deep down you were hoping he changed his mind.
Me too. Next time please don't do this to yourself. This is where the phrase, "Curiosity killed the cat" comes in handy. I can't believe he INSISTED you come there so he could say that to your face. At least you didn't sleep with him.
But now you really know that actions speak louder than words. But words still hurt.
I'm sorry this happened b/c it does suck.
You will get over it, though. No need to deactivate YOUR FB account. Just block him.
Me too. Next time please don't do this to yourself. This is where the phrase, "Curiosity killed the cat" comes in handy. I can't believe he INSISTED you come there so he could say that to your face.
But now you really know that actions speak louder than words. But words still hurt.
I'm sorry this happened b/c it does suck.
I did not want to go. But a lot of my friends told me that if I never went, I would never know. And at worst case I would get a definite answer. I agreed. We wanted to know what he would say even though I knew.
I guess he wanted me to come in person because it makes look less like a bad guy. Better to my face than people breaking up over FB or text? Something like that?
I did not want to go. But a lot of my friends told me that if I never went, I would never know. And at worst case I would get a definite answer. I agreed. We wanted to know what he would say even though I knew.
I guess he wanted me to come in person because it makes look less like a bad guy. Better to my face than people breaking up over FB or text? Something like that?
And yeah, words hurt. Actions hurt. It all HURTS.
I am sorry you were rejected as I know it stings, but he didn't break up with you. You were never his girlfriend. I think the lesson you can take from this is to not get invested in a guy you aren't even dating.
Aww. My heart hurts for you. It hurts to be led on and made to feel like you were someone special when really the other person never had any intention of trying to have a real relationship with you. The guy I mentioned did all those awesome things you said your guy did. Told me how pretty I am, held my hand, told me thing he wanted to do in the future, basically treated me like a girlfriend, but when push came to shove he wasn't really serious. Just remember you are someone special. One lesson I've learned is not to get too emotionally invested. It's what a guy says and DOES over a long period of time that tells the true story of how he feels. Until a guy proves he is worth caring for and trusting and makes it known he wants a relationship with you it's best not to get too attached no matter how charming he seems.
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