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Old 12-17-2012, 08:12 PM
 
2,758 posts, read 4,949,850 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
Well to be honest I'd be pissed if I saw my bf calling a girl "beautiful" or "gorgeous" in response to a photo...particularly if I didn't know her. Maybe that makes me insecure I dunno.

He wouldn't do that though.

But I've nearly made the equivalent mistake.

EDIT: If he called a girl "sexy" I'd be really upset. Sounds like flirting to me, beyond a simple compliment.
If you don't like the idea of him calling someone sexy or beautifull on facebook, then why would you even consider it ?

Personally, I don't think it's a trust issue. I think it's a respect issue. It is one thing to say to a good friend "Love the picture, you guys look great!"
It's another thing to say, "Damn, hottie! Aren't you looking sexy! "

We all know that most of us have opposite sex friends, and yes, some of them may be attractive. But being in a relationship, and acting like you are in a relationship are 2 totally different things to some people.
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Old 12-17-2012, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,052 posts, read 4,298,140 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
Who says smush? Other than the Jersey shore show?
LOL everyone I hang out with...
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Old 12-17-2012, 08:23 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,754,614 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
This is the post I am addressing.

In my experience, this type of black and white zero tolerance statements usually don't come from a place of serenity ans security.
The thing is, marriage is pretty much a black-and-white statement.

My husband and I have a lot of leeway in our relationship, but I also know that if I were thinking about making a comment on FB and wishing he couldn't see it, we'd have problems.

That kind of behavior undermines any serenity and security in a relationship, and you and I both know it.
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Old 12-17-2012, 08:24 PM
 
Location: Astoria, NY
3,052 posts, read 4,298,140 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006 View Post
If you don't like the idea of him calling someone sexy or beautifull on facebook, then why would you even consider it ?
I didn't "consider" it, that sounds like a deliberation...it was an impulse that I decided against in a matter of seconds.
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Old 12-17-2012, 08:34 PM
 
Location: My House
34,937 posts, read 36,163,891 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
or your girlfriend to comment on pictures of friends on facebook of the opposite sex...in a complimentary way? What would be the exceptions?

Some times I think of complimenting my male friends on their photos but then I notice their picture privacy is set to "global" and I don't want my bf to see that...even though it's not like I want to smush them or anything.
Depends on how you do it.

Good Example: Great pic! You look really happy here!

Bad Example: Hey sweet thang! If only we both were single...
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Old 12-17-2012, 08:36 PM
 
Location: Texas
44,256 posts, read 64,216,996 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
The thing is, marriage is pretty much a black-and-white statement.

My husband and I have a lot of leeway in our relationship, but I also know that if I were thinking about making a comment on FB and wishing he couldn't see it, we'd have problems.

That kind of behavior undermines any serenity and security in a relationship, and you and I both know it.
I agree with you.

I don't say anything to anyone I wouldn't want my wife to hear.

Thing is...calling someone sexy isn't even on the radar.
We are married, not robots.
And to act like the world is suddenly devoid of attractive people is fakery and insincere.
Neither of us feel threatened and jealousy is not a word in our vocabulary.
Because we do trust and respect each other.
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Old 12-17-2012, 08:38 PM
 
2,758 posts, read 4,949,850 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post
I didn't "consider" it, that sounds like a deliberation...it was an impulse that I decided against in a matter of seconds.
I see. No offense intended, just more of a question for you to consider what it would be like to wear the other shoe, which you have already thought through.
Facebook does present plenty of opportunities for problems/issues depending on how it is used, how often, etc.

Ideally for me, I wind up with a woman who doesn't use facebook too much....
Very very seldom does a woman who is not my long term friend tell me I am sexy or hot or a flirty comment or something like that in my facebook photos. But, I don't approve everyone for my facebook. It is usually just family and close friends. Of course, many people have many more FB friends than me, so they use FB differently.
To each their own. It seems that half the masses keep FB more private to family and close friends, and the other half use FB with people they don't know in person that are on the other side of the globe, or that one guy from that one time at that one bar who was Richies uncles nephews cousins so-and-so who might have a job opportunity.....

Last edited by AverageGuy2006; 12-17-2012 at 09:43 PM..
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Old 12-17-2012, 08:53 PM
 
Location: Oakland, CA
28,226 posts, read 36,784,942 times
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It would depend on the guy too. I have/had some male friends who tend to use things like beautiful and bella quite frequently. So if that sort of person did it, I wouldn't think anything of most comments. Now if it was a man who never complimented people, I'd be suspicious.
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:00 PM
 
Location: Australia
4,001 posts, read 6,260,123 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxbabeechick View Post

The reality is that you know the person you're with is attracted to other people and that's normal and natural.

But comments on facebook are a form of communication. Not only do you find her attractive you want her to know you do. Why? That's the point.
Wait a minute, is this about you complimenting men friends, or your bf complimenting women friends?



Either way, it seems like you've got a massive double standard going on there.
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Old 12-17-2012, 09:11 PM
 
810 posts, read 1,760,959 times
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I don't suffer from any jealousy issues so for me it wouldn't bug me in the least. A comment is just that a comment, of course if it was out of line then I might get mad but if it was a "Looking good," then that's ok.
My boyfriend is jealous so if I said something like "looking good," to a guy then he would freak out.
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