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We were only dating for about two months and couldn't be happier. That never changed. Confused? So am I. For the last few days, I noticed she would never say "I love you too" when I'd say "I love you". She would always say "you too!" and when I said "good night, love you too" she said "sleep well". When I saw her in person, I called her out on that. I asked "Are you still happy?" She looked at me and said "what? Why, why would you ask that, you're nuts." I told her that I felt something was up and she said that she felt that we were drifting apart. Her example? That we don't cuddle as much. I told her that I didn't cuddle as much because I tend to toss and turn at night, which she knew, and I didn't want her to lose sleep. She also said that we are really different, like how she likes books and I like airplanes (um, ok?) She told me how much she has changed, from how she always use to put on make up, exercise, read and now she doesn't do any of that and replaced books with tv!
She feels that her feelings have changed. I told her, maybe she's just lost the butterflies, and that is normal. She explained that it was nothing that I have done and I treated her amazingly. I don't get how someone can just simply flip a switch: stating that she loves me, that I'm amazing, the one, that I treat her so special, to this. I use to drop her off at school just before work and would pick her up 11 hours early. She would wrap her hands around me and tell me how much she missed me.
I know, deep down inside she is scared. She has closed the college chapter of her life. I was, right down the road. Now I am 30 minutes away (and by my standards that I live by, nothing bad!), and she has all these big dreams from Law School to moving out to Cali. I told her that I am willing to do whatever, and go whereever for her. I just want her apart of my life. I fought so hard for her.
I don't think I'll be seeing the last of her. She says she's just "processing". I found a Harry Potter book she left behind and told her about it via text. She said that she has been crying all day and misses me so much (mutual). She says that I can keep the book here and she will be back soon. She says, again, that she is just processing.
I made it crystal clear that I feel she is making a big mistake. That I shouldn't be punished for what may, nor may not happen. I'm a hard worker. Yes, I love the clinic, but its not the be all, end all of companies. I have a degree, and God willing, will be getting my Masters soon, too. I'm a hard worker. I'll survive.
I now am very gun-shy with Lucy or any girl. This isn't the first time this has happened. When I was 19, I dated a girl named who thought the word of me. Who dropped the "M" word after 2 months (perhaps it was joking, perhaps feeling it out). Much out of the blue, she broke up with me when she too left college! Granted, it was to drop out, not graduate. I was, more or less, a security blanket, which my new ex told me I was to her as well. I am so afraid to get close to anyone these days.
I am not sure what to do about her. I told her, she has my contact info. She is obviously upset and even muttered in person "maybe I'm making a big mistake", "maybe I jumped the gun etc" but in the end it wasn't to be.
After not texting for a day, we have been texting, and it does make me feel better, but on the other hand I just want to drop it and leave it up to her to text me.
Last edited by leadingedge04; 12-20-2012 at 05:15 PM..
Reason: more info to story
I don't know a lot about your relationship. How long you were together or anything like that. But it sounds to me like it's quite possible that going off to law school and realizing just how much she was going to invest in earning her J.D. may have caused her to rethink her priorities.
I've got to agree with Mikala. I'm glad you had a delightful two months and I'm sorry you're hurt, but two months is far too short a time to start planning a future, particularly when you and she were both going through so many things that could alter your lives.
We've all been there. Getting too attached to a woman before she's as attached to you is like cryptonite to attraction. It comes off as needy. Next time, be more aloof. Watch what she does and if you feel that she feels strongly, then you could start talking about love.
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