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Old 12-26-2012, 01:13 PM
 
1,601 posts, read 2,128,607 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainJack87 View Post
Go to the bars and clubs (even if you don't like them) and get practice talking to women.
The guy is in his 40s.
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Old 12-26-2012, 01:17 PM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,972,596 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Maybe I should have also mentioned I'm an introvert. Bars and clubs don't work at all for me. So being an introvert + confidence issues = single with little chance of finding someone.
How bad do you want a partner and family?


I think the bar/club is a bad.idea, but there are other public places.
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Old 12-26-2012, 01:58 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,353 posts, read 5,779,936 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx View Post
How bad do you want a partner and family?


I think the bar/club is a bad.idea, but there are other public places.
Well, I really want that. I believe I blew my shot with my ex-wife and I want a second chance (not with her). I could have had kids with her and if I had, I might still be married, but I put it off due to career issues. Now I'm alone with no family. But I have my career back. Just can't seem to have it all I guess. Maybe I'm just not meant to have a family of my own. I think that would be tragic, but like I said, I blew my chance the first time.

And yeah, not going to go to bars/clubs (especially not clubs) to meet women. I'll go to hang out and if I get lucky, then great. But I've always sucked at that. I'm going to start frequenting a coffee shop, but that seems like low probability as well.
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Old 12-26-2012, 02:05 PM
 
Location: Central California
1,782 posts, read 2,219,942 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Maybe I should have also mentioned I'm an introvert. Bars and clubs don't work at all for me. So being an introvert + confidence issues = single with little chance of finding someone.
You say that like it's a disease.

I'm a introvert too, but I taught myself how to be outgoing. It's a choice. You can choose to do nothing and complain or you could go out, talk to people, and significantly improve your chances of meeting someone.

And you don't like bars and clubs? Oh, you don't say. Do it anyway.
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Old 12-26-2012, 02:37 PM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,972,596 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Well, I really want that. I believe I blew my shot with my ex-wife and I want a second chance (not with her). I could have had kids with her and if I had, I might still be married, but I put it off due to career issues. Now I'm alone with no family. But I have my career back. Just can't seem to have it all I guess. Maybe I'm just not meant to have a family of my own. I think that would be tragic, but like I said, I blew my chance the first time.

And yeah, not going to go to bars/clubs (especially not clubs) to meet women. I'll go to hang out and if I get lucky, then great. But I've always sucked at that. I'm going to start frequenting a coffee shop, but that seems like low probability as well.
I would put the past behind you and not think about those mistakes. Can't do anything about it, right?

Bars and clubs are not ideal. Coffee shop is ok. I would just keep an eye open and approach when you see someone you like, independent of location.
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Old 12-26-2012, 02:57 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,125 posts, read 107,362,581 times
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I wonder if the demographics are different in Oklahoma, maybe I already posted that. But the best thing for shy guys is to get involved in activities/clubs/groups of any and all kinds, which allows you to get to know people over time, and them--you. What about community fund-raisers, if you're interested in meeting career women? Rotary accepts women now. Weekend sports clubs, walking/hiking, book signings, volunteer work, political work, professional mentoring? Are there topics you have expertise on, that you could lecture on locally, even if it's only something like your favorite travel destination that you could show slides of at the travel bookstore? Put yourself out there.
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Old 12-26-2012, 06:31 PM
 
2,732 posts, read 3,580,531 times
Reputation: 1980
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Well, I really want that. I believe I blew my shot with my ex-wife and I want a second chance (not with her). I could have had kids with her and if I had, I might still be married, but I put it off due to career issues. Now I'm alone with no family. But I have my career back. Just can't seem to have it all I guess.
Yea, sometimes you can't have it all, but the least you can do is enjoy what you do have. You have it GOOD.... You're a free bird AND you have income (**happy dance**)!

My advice is to not settle down until you have traveled around the world. I'm serious. You will have the time of your life when traveling abroad, and the fine sexy women you meet overseas will be icing on the cake!

At the moment, I'm flying solo just like you, but I don't feel alone because I get to travel around and do lots of things that married guys can't, and never will. I know the grass looks greener on the other side, and you're looking for your other half, but in the mean time you should enjoy yourself and continue to expand your horizons.




Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Maybe I'm just not meant to have a family of my own. I think that would be tragic, but like I said, I blew my chance the first time.
Not all men gravitate towards the role of family man. In every culture you have a class of men who are what you call the "warrior class" who comprise of men who are adventurous, high strung, aggressive and naturally have high testosterone levels. Is this you?
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Old 12-26-2012, 06:37 PM
 
Location: Central California
1,782 posts, read 2,219,942 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by the minx View Post
I would put the past behind you and not think about those mistakes. Can't do anything about it, right?

Bars and clubs are not ideal. Coffee shop is ok. I would just keep an eye open and approach when you see someone you like, independent of location.
Why wouldn't bars and clubs be ideal? I know many people that met their future wives there.



Quote:
Originally Posted by tazzled
The guy is in his 40s.
So?
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Old 12-26-2012, 06:43 PM
 
11,865 posts, read 16,972,596 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainJack87 View Post
Why wouldn't bars and clubs be ideal? I know many people that met their future wives there.





So?
A man in his mid 40s picking up women at a bar or club?

No....
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Old 12-26-2012, 06:43 PM
 
2,732 posts, read 3,580,531 times
Reputation: 1980
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainJack87 View Post
You say that like it's a disease.

I'm a introvert too, but I taught myself how to be outgoing. It's a choice. You can choose to do nothing and complain or you could go out, talk to people, and significantly improve your chances of meeting someone.

And you don't like bars and clubs? Oh, you don't say. Do it anyway
.

In 2012, I don't like American clubs either because people are mean spirited, pretentious, and too cliquish;back in the 80's/90's American clubs were great though, but I was too young then.....



On the other hand, went to the club spots in Bangkok Thailand and people were very friendly and the cost to have a good time was very cheap.
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